Writing The Wedding of the Squirrels

[Lady Macaiodh]

[COLOR=darkblue][size=1]Wrote this today. It's not very good. I just wanted to get it out.[/size]

[center]The Wedding of the Squirrels[/center]

The first thing I heard that day, before I had even gotten out of bed, was the voice of my fiancé saying, ?Get up, baby. The Justice of the Peace is coming tomorrow and we need to go get our marriage license.?

I thought he was joking. We hadn?t set a date for the wedding, had made no preparations at all, and hadn?t even told very many people we were engaged, so how were we getting married the next day?

?I found a guy who can come tomorrow night,? Mike explained. ?We?ll do it outside.?

?In the middle of the trailer park?? I asked.

I was secretly furious, but I knew better than to show it or question Mike. In a way, I didn?t mind that much, because I wanted us to get it over with and be married to each other. He would start to trust me, I was sure of it. He would stop accusing me of not loving him. He could never again say that I wasn?t really committed to him, that I was just using him until a better guy came along. Getting married would fix everything.

The day of the wedding was crazy. I made a dozen phone calls while completely hung over, and nothing seemed to be working out. Having a huge fight with my father, especially with my brain pounding out of my skull, was not fun. He was refusing to come, and wouldn?t even let me talk to my mom. My close friend, Jessica, had just gone into labor with wonderful timing, so she was out for a bridesmaid. My brother, James, couldn?t get off of work, and my other brother, Jon, didn?t have a phone, so there was no way to even get in touch with him. All my other relatives lived too far away. Finally, I spoke to my best friend, Sarah, and she agreed to be my Matron of Honor and sole guest.

It was discouraging to say the least, but all I had to do was look into Mike?s blue eyes, not remembering how bloodshot they could get when he was furious, and everything was okay.

As the hour drew closer, I started getting really excited. Sarah arrived with great luster, bringing a creamy white cake, a bouquet of soft roses, and decorations for the tree in front of our porch. We tried to pull the fake, life-sized skull out of what was now the wedding tree, but a branch had grown through one of the empty eye sockets, so it was stuck. To improvise, Sarah wrapped a burgundy satin ribbon under its chin and tied a bow on top of its cracked, weathered head. We both burst out laughing.

Mike slid grandly out of the front door and posed. His wedding outfit made me laugh even harder. He was totally gothed out in all black, complete with leather gloves, a long trench coat, cowboy boots, and Clint Eastwood shades. He grinned at me, making my heart flutter, and swept me into his arms, kissing me deeply. Everything was perfect, even though it wasn?t.

Mike?s mother and grandparents arrived, so all we needed was the Justice of the Peace. He was thirty minutes late. Finally, at around 9 p.m., he called from his cell phone, completely lost somewhere in the trailer park. I went out to wait for him at the entrance, hiking up the skirt of my red silk Mandarin dress so it wouldn?t get dirty. I stood beside Brook Road, with the lights of Gold City Gentlemen?s Club flashing in my face. The Justice of the Peace pulled up next to me, and, as I led him through the backyard, I warned him to watch out for my roommate?s dog?s poop.

We gathered under the tree, the skull grinning down at us evilly, and the ceremony began. Sarah snapped pictures like crazy. The Justice of the Peace ordered us to say vows, for which we were completely unprepared. I promised Mike I would show him, every day, how much I loved him without ever having to say it. Mike devoured the attention by giving a long speech about how I was his heart and soul.

Suddenly, our roommate, David, pulled up, with his dog, Fancy, in the back of his car. She was freaking out, because David was one of those brilliant types who trained his dog to attack black people, and the Justice of the Peace was black.

?I?ll just stay in the car,? David called out, giving me the dirtiest look imaginable.

I had never smiled that much before and really meant it. My cheeks were starting to hurt, but I couldn?t stop, even when Mike and I had to pretend to put the rings on each other since we didn?t have any. Our first kiss as husband and wife was salty and passionate. We didn?t want to stop kissing, and didn?t care who was watching. Everything was right. Everything was going to be wonderful from then on.

After we moved inside, David hissed in my ear, ?I can?t believe you went through with it.?

I kindly told him to go to hell, and went back to posing and laughing and dancing. Mike and I smashed cake in each other?s faces. Sarah cracked open the wine. It seemed so loud, like there were a thousand people in the room. Mike and I were caught in a whirlwind.

But some whirlwinds stop being fun after awhile. They get scary. There?s too much hot air blowing in violent circles. Your feet leave the ground, and you start to feel like you?re going to die.

Looking back, I realize that it was one of the only happy days Mike and I had.

Earlier today, I was sitting on my front porch, watching a group of squirrels engage in a mad mating dance. I stopped my dog from attacking them because I wanted to watch them awhile longer. They reminded me of my ex-husband and me.

When you?re caught up in love?s dance, you don?t think about the future. You don?t know that reality is right around the corner. You?re just a couple of squirrels chasing each other, unaware that a black dog with big teeth is watching you with hungry eyes.

Mike and I were going to be together forever. Sometimes, I really have to laugh at myself. Other times, I wish I?d never gotten out of bed that morning.
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[Guest Majin Buu]

Yeah i like to write pointless stuff too just to get it out makes me feel better, Anyways i like it it must have taken you awhile to write it all though. I just love happy endings :)