CalmLikeABomb Posted June 21, 2003 Share Posted June 21, 2003 What does everyone think about pre-marital sex? Just curious. :devil: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GreenEyedDragon Posted June 21, 2003 Share Posted June 21, 2003 [color=sky blue] I think...i think that this is a very controversial subject and not many people want to respond to this, because for the people that don't care if you're married or not--they probably don't want a lecture...and then the people who are set in their ways and think its just wrong will be all offended, and it will be a mess...And then there's people in the middle, like me, who are still finding themselves, and etching out their morals and values, who can't really say what their opinion is yet...so yeah, that was my tidbit...[/color] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest dayday Posted June 21, 2003 Share Posted June 21, 2003 [QUOTE][i]Originally posted by GreenEyedDragon [/i] [B][color=sky blue] I think...i think that this is a very controversial subject and not many people want to respond to this, because for the people that don't care if you're married or not--they probably don't want a lecture...and then the people who are set in their ways and think its just wrong will be all offended, and it will be a mess...And then there's people in the middle, like me, who are still finding themselves, and etching out their morals and values, who can't really say what their opinion is yet...so yeah, that was my tidbit...[/color] [/B][/QUOTE] I'm not scared to say anything, unless it's in front my mom. I think that it's gross and distuging. Why the h*** would anyone do it anyway? It's the stupidest thing I've ever heard. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Charles Posted June 21, 2003 Share Posted June 21, 2003 I disagree with the idea that premarital sex is "gross" or "disgusting." These are very childish, inexperienced sentiments. As I see it, the issue isn't even controversial in this day and age--at least not to the degree it was--oh, say a decade ago, even. There aren't as many negative moral implications surrounding it. In fact, the number of unmarried couples living together before marriage continues to [i]increase[/i]. And, you know, practically speaking, I can understand that. What if a couple doesn't want to incur the obligation to support or share property with one another? What if they want to avoid the expense of divorce if the relationship fails? I'm sure there are a number of reasons. So, I don't see a problem with premarital sex if it's between two consenting adults (i.e., late teens +) as long as they use protection. Obviously children shouldn't be having sex. I don't believe they're ready to take on that sort of responsibility or the possible consequences involved. But, no matter how loose society does become with sex, the negative stigma is still firmly attached to females. As one of my professors pointed out in a lecture, there are no negative labels for males that enjoy "free sex." I mean, men actually brag about how many times they've scored in restrooms, locker rooms, etc. But, I'm sure that we could rattle off the negative social stigmas attached to women who behave the same way. So, I think that's the modern day issue. Premarital sex is a common part of life now. Especially for individuals that don't even have the right to marry--such as homosexuals. Those who disagree, probably do so for religious reasons--or because they're simply too young to understand. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest dayday Posted June 21, 2003 Share Posted June 21, 2003 That's your opinion, I still think it's gross. I don't really care. You shouldn't be having sex before you're married or not. And you don't have to live together if you are. You can be married and live two different states for all I care.:babble: I'm not trying to be smart, but I mean come on man. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Semjaza Posted June 21, 2003 Share Posted June 21, 2003 Well, I've had sex many more times than I can count... And I'm not married. So there's my stance on it. I could never hold off. Anyone that can seriously wait until their marriage has my respect. I just didn't have the "control" to wait that long, I guess. Not that I even regret it. Besides, the whole pre-marital idea stems mostly from religious issues... and I'm not remotely religious. Just because you have premarital sex doesn't mean you're running around screwing anyone that will let you. There are people that do, but many don't. Most people I know wait off until it feels right and is with the right person. I don't think that's wrong or gross personally. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest dayday Posted June 21, 2003 Share Posted June 21, 2003 [QUOTE][i]Originally posted by Semjaza Azazel [/i] [B]Just because you have premarital sex doesn't mean you're running around screwing anyone that will let you. There are people that do, but many don't. Most people I know wait off until it feels right and is with the right person. I don't think that's wrong or gross personally. [/B][/QUOTE] That's not what I meant. It's only if you do go around trying to find someone who's just want's to sleep with you. I didn't mean if you loved the person and thought you were ready. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Semjaza Posted June 21, 2003 Share Posted June 21, 2003 Well, if the people were in love and ready... you think that's okay? I'm somewhat confused, because I don't think anything in the thread implied only just sleeping around heh. Oh well. All I know is that I certainly wasn't in love some of those times. There were feelings involved, they were all girlfriends... but I only really was in love with one of them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PiroMunkie Posted June 21, 2003 Share Posted June 21, 2003 [QUOTE][i]Originally posted by dayday[/i] [B]You can be married and live two different states for all I care.[/B][/QUOTE][size=1]To be trite, that is easier said than done. It would be just as hard for me to be living in two different states as it would be if we were living next door to each other. Not saying I could not do it, but it would just be a lot of weight on the soul to be without the physical company. Though, this forced abstinence can only make it all the better when we would actually be together. On the topic mentioned of living together before married, I support that. It puts further commitment into the relationship and lets the other know that they are rather serious about it. Living together premaritally would just be a test to see if the two of you could handle it. Chances are it would be rough to deal with, but if the two are truly longing to be together and make things work a way will be found. To be cliche once more: where there is a will, there is a way. [i]Plus[/i] you would know more so of what you may need when it does come to getting married. Think of wedding gifts that could help with the living arrangements and such. This would be much more reasonable than just jumping head first into living together [i]after[/i] you have already tied the knot. This way if the living situation does not work out, you would know that you two are not ready and just need to wait a bit longer and try a bit harder. As for premarital sex, I am not strongly against it, but I am not strongly for it either. I am kind of in the middle, but I lean more towards being against it. If it is done responsibly, I shall have no problem with that person, but I cannot stand those who just go and have sex with anyone and everyone. Then again, there are those who are totally against any phsyical/sexual contact and such; they can be just as annoying. Although, I find it amusing to push their buttons a little with random hugs and such, lol. They tense up so much... Personally, I have no problem with waiting until marriage. My sexual drive is pretty low, so it does not take much to please me, lol. I am more of the traditional romantic type. Holding hands, cuddling, kissing (not slobbering all over, lol), hugging, laying together, and anything else such as these are enough for me. I cannot say sexual thoughts do not arise in my head, but it is not much to me to actually care about them now. I am fine just keeping things simple.[/size] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brasil Posted June 21, 2003 Share Posted June 21, 2003 The problem is, IMO, people today are wrapped way too tight. Not only wrapped too tight for sexual encounters, but wrapped too tight for life. People are so...edgy today. It's really disheartening. Do we really feel we're better than the animals? Dayday, why do you feel the need to jump on Charles immediately? He didn't insult you at all. He presented his view in a mature manner, only commenting on the general populus who views premarital sex as "gross and distuging." He used examples and demonstrated knowledge of society. And frankly, by your manner of post, you are too young to understand and not mature enough to look at the issue from all sides, as evidenced by Semjaza's comment about if people are in love. You failed to take into account that two people might be very much in love and are of legal age and are of consenting nature. I do not see how you can immediately call something gross and disgusting when you fail to view the possibilities. Your view is very limited, dayday. I hope you begin to inform yourself of different viewpoints before broadly generalizing about a varied topic. Now, to input my (informed) opinion, I see nothing wrong with premarital sex generally. I only have a problem with it when those involved are not of legal age (for instance, under 18 or statutory rape). I do not approve of promiscuous teens, but unless I'm directly affected by their actions, I will not step in. What people do is their own business; I'm not about to dictate what someone can and cannot do behind closed doors. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Transtic Nerve Posted June 21, 2003 Share Posted June 21, 2003 It's illegal for me to get married, do you want to take away my right to have sex too? Sex is something that no one else but the two, or sometimes more people, should be concerned with. No one else has any right to say when or if you should have sex, or with who. No one should force you to have or not to have sex. It involves your body, not anyone elses, thus the only person who should have ANY say on it what-so-ever if you and your partner(s) Dayday, how old are you? People who think it's gross can think all they want. But you know, it doesn't matter cause it's not you. You aren't having sex, so you don't need to think it's gross. I mean really? How can you call it gross when you've never done it before? That hypocritical. Thats liek saying "Pumpkin Pie is gross, but I've never eaten it before"... err perhaps thats a bad example. You can say it's something that doesn't suit you, but you can't go out and say sex, premarital sex, or whatever is gross and disgusting. You're being idiotic, immature, and hypocritical. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Fly-T Posted June 21, 2003 Share Posted June 21, 2003 What's that term they use? Oh yeah, abstinence (sp?). Like Piro said, I'm not strongly against it nor for it... I, losing my virginity before even thinking about marriage, am more of a neutral person. Most people do always say not to have sex until you are married so in case anyhting happens, that trust is still there. If you, like me, perfer to be going around having sex before ya married, I find that all cool and stuff but like, if you roll with the abstinence(once again sp?) way, then that's fine too but it right now I cant really seem to think of how I wanna bring this about... Iight yo its like this Premarital sex is nice and all but as long as you don't try to make it a hobby, believe me, of all people I know a thing or two....Of course yu aint sposed' ta' be 13, 14 going around bonin' peeps and spreadin ya legs, but the shi* happens at a moderate rate, and people will experience any sexual stuff at a young age whether it be some boy and a girl experimenting..masturbation, or homo-stuff so its evident to say that a majority of teens and children would prolly have or already have had sex before marriage.... The thing that's with marriage is like you are giving your whole life to this person and a lotta marriages haven't ended "happily ever after", so with that kinda thing in mind, people wouldn't perfer that kinda route (right now i think I'm speakin complete incompleteness), If you gettin what I'm sayin... Currently, I have a girlfriend( Love ya Myeashia) and we've already had sex and we discuss about marriage but we still young so we don't really worry about it yet.. So basically, What I'm tryna say is, Premarital sex is nice and all but what you wanna do is totally up to you...but listen to this one thing....Have premarital sex before marrying someone...say you perfer having a nice sexual relationship, havesex with someone, if that someone(who you want to marry) meets your sexual relationship-ish requirements, then you got that person... My two cents..........~1~ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vegitto4 Posted June 21, 2003 Share Posted June 21, 2003 Ok, gotta love this subject. Personally, since I have had this expierence, what i'm about to say might be slightly skewed(partially because of lack of sleep(it's 0137 in the A.M) and partially, well, because it's me) If you think think that you are ready to have pre-marital sexual relations, please, take a step back, count to 10, think about things. if you are under the age of 15, I HIGHLY do not recommend it. Besides the fact that all teenagers hormones are insane at this time in life, most 15 year olds( I said MOST) that I have met, are not emotionally, and mentally capable of comprehending the after effects. Besides the fact that if something happened, and a child was produced, you wouldn't be able to think about dropping school, and trying to get a fulltime job to pay for everything. That, and knowing most 15 year old guys, they would probably stick with there girl for a week, then realize that they can't handle it, and drop them like a stone in a lake. Most guys any age do this anyway, thats cause we're all assholes honestly(then again, everyone has their days :devil: ) Now, at the age of say, 16+, again, think about it. If you think your ready, by all means, go for the score. However, do think that your not the only ony taking part in sed act of pleasure, and that it will affect others around you. Yes, I have had sex already. First time, was worthless, I was seriously messed up at the time. I do regret it, slightly(the guy part of me doesn't,meh ::shrug::). Honestly, every girl that I have ahd sex with sicne then(which is only 2 more), I slightly regret those girls. However( I use that word alot....) the very next girl that i have sex with, I will care deeply for. I am not going to do the mindless sport (sorry mods) **** anymore. It's a waste of time, and is only fun for a little while. As greeneyeddragon knows, and so do a few of you on here, I am currently the happiest i've ever been in this relationship. Now, my brain is fried, and I have to get some sleep. Good night to you all. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kevin Posted June 21, 2003 Share Posted June 21, 2003 [color=green]I don't think it really matters. I mean, if the two people love each other enough to take it to that step before getting married, they have all right to do it in my opinion. Sure, I have had sex already and I am not married and the girl that I had sex with was and still is head over heels in love with me. So I don't really see the big deal.[/color] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lady Macaiodh Posted June 21, 2003 Share Posted June 21, 2003 [color=darkblue][size=1]Ryan, I totally did not expect you to say that. Is love changing you? I think I like the change. Well, I've had pre-marital sex about a couple thousand times, so I guess I'm all for it. I do agree that you should have feelings for the person. Unless you're obsessively into the physical pleasure of it, it's not going to be fun. Maybe the first few times. But it'll get old. I personally wouldn't do it again, not until I find the right person. I'm not saying the person I'm going to marry or anything, but someone special, at least. Dayday, just wait til you get older. It'll be all you think about, lol.[/color][/size] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TarMeg1989 Posted June 21, 2003 Share Posted June 21, 2003 [SIZE=1][FONT=times new roman][COLOR=blue]Okay..I don't think it matters about premarital sex, it matters if you are ready.. Only have sex when you're ready Some conditions of premarital sex is rape or threatend to have sex. But most people do it for fun and no offense I think thats WRONG!! Yu shouldn't just do sex if it is for fun. Anyway, those are my opinions and I hope none of this offends..[/color][/font][/size] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mitch Posted June 21, 2003 Share Posted June 21, 2003 [size=1] Well, I am going to [i]try[/i] and wait until I get married, or near there, before I have sex. Although I see nothing wrong with it all...as long as there's true, real feelings. I am not just going to have sex just to have sex. Sure, it's very possible, and would probably be enjoyable, but it'd be a lot better if it actually had reason to it lol. Heh. Obviously, I'm a virgin. Nothing too amazing there. So no, I don't think there's that much wrong with premarital sex. Mainly, for me, I want there to be true feelings, you know. It could be my whole life until that happens though. Ah well. I still have a lot of time to worry about that. I'd like to say it's good if the two people doing it are [i]mature, cognizant and understanding of what they're doing, and all that good stuff[/i]. Enough said.[/size] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
James Posted June 21, 2003 Share Posted June 21, 2003 [color=#335062]My feeling is basically that every person has the freedom to make choices about issues like this. If you are with someone who you love and you're not married, but you want to have sex, nobody has the right to tell you that you can't. Even if you're not in love -- if you want to have sex, it's nobody else's business. Of course, everybody applies different rules to their own lives. Some people like to wait, others just wait until love (regardless of marriage) and others don't take the subject so seriously, and they might end up having sex with someone they care about...but don't necessarily [i]love[/i]. My feeling is that love isn't necessarily easy to come by. In our lives, we might go out with ten different people and we may not [i]truly[/i] love any of them. So many married people are not truly, deeply in love, either. Look at the divorce rates as an example. So, I think that sex is to be enjoyed. I don't mean to say that it's necessarily right to have sex with every single person you meet or something, but at the same time, sex needs to be put into perspective. It's likely, for many of us, that we will meet someone who we "like" well before we are married (if we ever get married, that is). And so, if you're having sex with someone you trust...someone you have feelings for...and someone who you enjoy having sex with, I personally don't see any issue there. But by the same token, I think that sex becomes devalued if you just go around and do it with anyone you meet. So there's a fine line. Basically though, the bottom line is that sex is a very personal thing. Nobody ever has the right to look at you and tell you that your sex life is "disguting" or "wrong" (unless you're actually breaking the law or something, perhaps). But generally, everybody has different ideas about sex...different ideas about their own sex lives, and so on. Telling someone that [i]their[/i] sex life is wrong is very rude, basically. As long as you're making decisions that you are comfortable with in your life, I don't think you have a reason to worry. Anyway, that's longer than I intended. lol [/color] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KittyLynn Posted June 21, 2003 Share Posted June 21, 2003 [SIZE=1][COLOR=dodgerblue]I think that if they are two responsible adults and they use protection,sex before you are married is fine with me. Some may think its gross and disgusting, but thats a immature view of it, obviously from someone who isn't or hasn't been in love. -KittyLynn[/COLOR][/SIZE] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sara Posted June 21, 2003 Share Posted June 21, 2003 [size=1]dayday, sex isn't any more gross or disgusting before marriage than after, heh. It would probably stay about the same. Your wording was a little unfortunate. However, if you believe sex before marriage is wrong, by all means--more power to you. There is a fine line between holding your own beliefs in high regard and looking down on those of others. It's easy to mistake, but let's all keep things civil. Kay? On the topic at hand--What I think about pre-marital sex? Not for me. [i]I am more of the traditional romantic type. Holding hands, cuddling, kissing (not slobbering all over, lol), hugging, laying together, and anything else such as these are enough for me.[/i] I'd guess I agree with Piro right there. As for living together, I believe there's a higher divorce rate among couples who have done so before marriage than those who just jump in afterwards. I also think that while it may indicate a greater commitment before marriage, the event/import of the marriage itself is lessened. [/size] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
(<AA>) Posted June 21, 2003 Share Posted June 21, 2003 Well, what of import can little old me add??? Well, it's known that religously, premarital sex is pretty much a sin, but so was being gay, but being gay CAN'T be a sin, afterall, a gay person has no choice in his sexuality(I think :confused: ). And also, since marriage is not really an option(religion wise anyway) it doesn't matter whether gay people have premarital sex. So, what about the straight people? Is it fair to say "It's not their fault they're gay, let'em have sex, but you're straight, wait till you're married." I don't think that's right. Well, I'm pretty much... immature, young, and... horny, but I wouldn't like to have sex till I'm married... It would make it all the more special. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DeathBug Posted June 21, 2003 Share Posted June 21, 2003 Hmmm...as Xander Harris once said, "I'm seventeen. Looking at linomlium makes me want to have sex." Not sure what that had to do with anything, but I'm also seventeen, so there's some context. I wouldn't like to have sex until I'm married, so, twenty years from now, I'll know that I've got dediction and self-discipline. As for other poeople having sex, I really don't care, as long as it's legal. For the most part, I don't think other people should care. (The only exception would be dependants who do it in their parents' house; then I'd think the parents have a right to step in if they want to.) I'm a virgin, but I know several people who aren't, and it doesn't lower my opinion of them. I think at some point they might wish they'd waited for that one special person, but I'm not going to hound them with my personal beliefs. So....do you get any respect for being a virgin if you've never had the opportunity to loose your virginity? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest dayday Posted June 21, 2003 Share Posted June 21, 2003 I wasn't jumping on anybody. It's just that I can get a little disturbed sometimes. I'm still learning how to keep calm when I get mad or something like that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Subversive Posted June 21, 2003 Share Posted June 21, 2003 While of course I'm going to say: It is wrong to have premarital sex, actually read my post. I say this based on my strong religous beliefs. I will always believe it to be [u]wrong[/u]. But for others, who don't have these beliefs, although I still wish the would- I would hope that they would take into consideration these 2 secular reasons. 1) Do you truly love this person? 2) Can you handle the responsibilities? If either is no I would say don't do it. I'm also faced by the fact that really to most of you its none of my buisness, but then again you came in the topic... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ninjaman Posted June 21, 2003 Share Posted June 21, 2003 Oh boy, now it's my turn. Anyway, I agree with Subversive's two points. I think people should wait until they are ready for the possible consequences following sex before they try it. And I do also think that they should wait until those two people truly love each other and can't wait any longer until marriage to have sex, of course, provided that they are, let's say, 18+ years old. I don't really support nor am I really against premarital sex. I think it's matter of whether the two people are ready and in love. I also don't see a problem in two people living together before they get married. Anyway, I for one will wait until I truly love the girl and I am ready to have sex. I will, however, try my best to wait until after marriage. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts