Last few week of depression and now I'm happy.

[Amorphous]

The last few weeks just before school until friday night this week I was depressed a lot. Though never once did I think of commiting suicide or hurting myself in anyway. No I'm not like that. Though what I was going through was horrible.

Lets see here the last 3 weeks of school everything was so hectic and I was trying to deal with my finals and everything and classes that I was afraid that I would fail. (because I skipped at least half the year) Eventually I got my results back and I passed every class of mine except for 2. Which would be Social Studies and Math. Which I couldn't care less about. The week of the finals I wasn't even there mentally, because the finals were the least of my problems. The real problem was this.

I've been having a huge debate with myself between two girls who really liked me one who I already have a relationship with and one that wanted to be with me. Though it got really complicated because the one I had a relationship I could only talk to over the internet and the other one was with me at school everday. So me and her became close and we did stuff but nothing g/f b/f like we just hung out and that was about all we always talked to each other though about everything. Anyways I told my girl friend about her, because she always has away of getting things out of people. It kind of slipped out and she got all mad at me, but I can't blame her. Eventually me and her began to fall apart so I started talking to the girl I see most of the time everyday. It finally came to the point were they she really liked me and I felt like I was being forced to choose between the two (because in the back of my mind I still wanted to be with my actual girl friend). The one who I have my realtionship with and the one that I know just really likes me and wants to be with me.

So I kept talking to my actual girl friend trying to calm her down, sadly I regret at one point that I said I was going to leave her to be with the other girl. Then I did leave but not to the other girl... but to think by myself to think of who truly cares for me more and who has always been there for me and always knows what to say. Being so deep into drepression though it was hard and stress doesn't help.

So finally I decided after days and days of thinking that I wanted to be with the girl who I held a relationship with because of all the things she did for me. I never meant to put her through that though. I finally asked if she would still accept me back and she did with open arms. Which I am so greatful for.

The final thing left to do was to tell the other girl that I just wanted to stay friends, sadly she burst out into anger and said she never wanted me to talk to her or even come near her again. I couldn't help it though, I just wanted to be with the other girl for so many reasons.

Sadly enough I never thought I would do such a thing. But if you were in my situation you might understand better and please don't go and tell me how wrong I was to do that to my girlfriend or that you should of never done that in the first place. It may not seem as depressing when you read it, but trust me that whole time was really really bad.

So now I'm happy and I'm back with my girlfriend and we already promised that this wouldn't happen again. Which I know it wont besides that fact I'm just glad its all over, I just wanted to get that of my back. Not that I was looking for attention or anything. Oh and I got 80% on my final english test. Lol, the only reason i passed was because of that high mark.

[wrist cutter]

Please tell me you realize both of these girls will be only memories to you in a few years.

[Guest Star Wolf]

Well he says one of them (maybe both?) wants to be with him, and he has a relationship with one, so perhaps you're wrong.

It's good to hear you're not depressed anymore ... and good luck with your relationship :)

[Amorphous]

[QUOTE][i]Originally posted by wrist cutter [/i]
[B]Please tell me you realize both of these girls will be only memories to you in a few years. [/B][/QUOTE]
Sadly that is what I am afraid of with the girl that I have a relationship with.
But I dont care about in a few years as long as we have a good time before that doing everything. Oh and I dont get depressed easily...so this was kind of weird. If ever I don't know why I got so depressed over this, though I'm almost never happy or sad either. I really dont feel to much. Or I used to be that way, I've been changing slowly though.

[Corey]

Applause to you for getting up the courage to do what you did.

On another note, that was quite a lot to take in at three in the morning. I hope I understood it all and am not in error when I wish you the best.

[Skyrose]

Ugh, relationships are so confusing, I'm sure everyone has done something like that in their time. If not, I'm sure they will. Don't feel *too* bad about it!

Depression is a natural reaction to stress... and well, that's proving itself very clearly here. As long as you relax, you won't be depressed. It seems like you've figured that out though ^-^;;

[Amorphous]

Yup I have figured that out, I'm alot better now that everything has been figured out. *goes of to watch his anime movie he just bought 2 hours ago*

[DarK DeatH]

Don't worry, you're still maybe not insane... That's something normal... Depression, stress, confusion... It makes you 95% human ~_^
I know what you mean with that, even though I've never been through the exact same situation, I had something that looked a bit like that already... It's not a comfortable situation you stay at... Like, whatever you say, one person will be sad or angry or mad at you... It really sucks...
Well, all I can say is that I wish you luck.