Guest XBebop Posted June 30, 2003 Share Posted June 30, 2003 I have to first chapter up here [url]http://www.fanfiction.net/read.php?storyid=1406322[/url] it's a Comedy/Romance just like the anime, and it's kinda random. Hope y'all ike it! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spikey Posted June 30, 2003 Share Posted June 30, 2003 It's okay. To much talking though. You need some action... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest XBebop Posted July 1, 2003 Share Posted July 1, 2003 it's a love hina fic, there's not much action. lol. i'll add some in chapt 2 or 3 though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BlackDragon465 Posted July 1, 2003 Share Posted July 1, 2003 I would say it needs a bit more discription of the settings and characters moods. Is good so far.:) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest XBebop Posted July 4, 2003 Share Posted July 4, 2003 c'mon people, there are 43 views and ur not posting! TELL ME WHAT U THINK OF IT! ch.2 isn't up becuase i got lazy the last few days. lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Naru Posted July 21, 2003 Share Posted July 21, 2003 i like that. it sounds like something that would really happen in Love Hina. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nate Posted July 25, 2003 Share Posted July 25, 2003 Funny...but it does need action. Of course an uppercutnito the sky is actrion..and the action i take the 'some' for is ok...but..*shrugs* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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