meh

[future girl]

I know I am not the unluckiest person on this earth and that it is not new for a seventeen year old girl to have problems with her mom, but it?s driving me crazy. I can?t take it anymore, and I don?t want to say I hate her, but it?s the only thing that fits. All she does is belittle me, yell at me, criticize me. There isn?t a moment in my memory where my mom has told me what a good daughter I am, complimented me, given me credit for all I?ve done. It may sound like I?m flattering myself, but I am a good daughter. I get good *** grades, I don?t party, I don?t have friends, she?s never got a complaint about me from a teacher or any sort of authority figure. The reason is ironic, but I?ve always tried to do as good as I can just for that, to give her peace, to give her one less thing to worry about, but she never takes that into consideration, she never notices. You know how kids get rewards for A?s, all she ever does is tell me, ?It better stay that way.? It feels like she?s expecting to me **** up, waiting for it so that the moment it happens she can laugh at me. You know ppl who get teased, a lot of them see home as their safe haven, but it?s not so for me. I mean she treats me like ****. I mean, if I just woke up and I haven?t combed my hair why should that even matter. She starts telling me how ugly I look, how much of a disgrace I am, how much prettier all my other cousins are. I can?t handle that, I HAVE GOOD HAIR!!!!! It?s getting worse, I mean it?s normal when parents don?t like the way you dress, what you do with your hair, stuff like that, but my mom makes me feel like I?m some sort of an abomination. It?s getting to the point where I can?t look at her without wanting to crush her, to show her that I am better than what she says I am. I want to get away so badly, go somewhere where she can never find me.
I don't even know why I'm posting this, I don't feel some sort of special relatioship in OB that a lot of the other's members feel, i guess, i just need some sort of way to vent this, I need to give myself the illusion that someone is listening to me.

[SaiyanPrincessX]

Try to talk to her, tell her how you feel. If she doesn't listen, maybe wright her a letter. If you don't feel comfortable telling her than maybe ask another family member, or friend. Maybe she just doesn't know how to tell you that she cares.

[BlackDragon465]

Well I am going to say. I feel sorry for you. My mom is the whole opposite. I get compliments everday. Everyday she tells me how much I mean to her. It must be hard living with a mother like yours. I suggest you tried to talk to her about her attitude and how she acts. If that don't work well your in deep. I mean you say you have no friends so that doesn't help because you could run to a friend if you had one and maybe live there for a like some weeks and come back and see if your mother actually gave a damn you were gone. Is your dad the same way as your mother? Or are they divorced or something?Only reason I ask this is because maybe he treats you well. If they were divorced you could go live with him if he was nice and treated you well unlike your mother.

[Guest dayday]

[QUOTE][i]Originally posted by BlackDragon465 [/i]
[B]I mean you say you have no friends so that doesn't help because you could run to a friend if you had one and maybe live there for a like some weeks and come back and see if your mother actually gave a damn you were gone.[/B][/QUOTE]

That would be somthing good to try. If you were gone for a while and then you came back you'd know how your mother actually felt about you. If she did care for you she would be happy to see that you were safe and okay. If none of that works then try talking to her. Sit down calmly and explain how she's treating you and see how she responds to it.

[XxmagentaxX]

My mom is the exact same way. She blows up at for no reason. I have never done anything for her not to trust me. She says that she does, and then freaks out when I want to do something!
What really gets me is that she wont let me hang out with guys. Then she goes and asks me why I dont have a boyfriend. Im think what the hell crack is she smoking?
About a week ago I went out to dnner with my friend and the plce we went to didnt accept her ATM card, so we went across the street ro Denny's I was probably gone about an hour and a half. I told my mom where I was going and that I have my cell fone with me, i always do... When I got home she flipped out! She kept going on about how I was "changing" and that Iwas doing things that I normally wouldnt do. I was getting really frustrated so I started crying, and she was like "see, your behavior lately is so weird" She listed all these things that weren't true, like I was having strange guys pick me up... which isnt true. the only guys I ever hang out with are guys that I have known for a really long time!
Also anytime I want to go out, she gives me this look and does the "I dont care" thing... pisses me off so bad!
Not to mention she calls me fat, and tells me to suck it in. where there isnt much to suck in anyway!

I feel so bad for girls who have moms like ours. It's so unfair!

[Guest Chris]

[color=green][size=1]well, i really can't give you any advice, seeing as how my mom is really nice to me. you're mom is probably just afraid that she'll mess up and you'll turn out a punk who's always getting into trouble or something. maybe she's got problems or anger that she needs to vent and just puts it out on you. maybe she's just going through metapose(sp?) or something. i really don't know. all i can say is that you need to hang in there. keep doing what you are doing and be the better person. i know it's hard, but sometimes the right thing is the hardest to do. if you ever need some one to talk to, just pm or aim me. i'll be glad to talk to you. chances are your mother really loves you and is just going through something you don't know about. just hang in there. it'll be fine in the end. godspeed.[/size][/color]

[DeathKnight]

[color=crimson]Thats funny since the teenagers end up takeing care of the parents- or not, depending on how the parents treated them.

So it all comes back around eventually, lol.[/color]

[XxmagentaxX]

lol my mom IS going through menapause (sp?)
I swear it totally screws with you... She's having like mood swings and all this other crap. I hate it...

[Guest Chris]

[color=green][size=1]yeah, it's really a bummer. well, atleast i don't have to put up with pms every single month. it's longer, but at least it's the end.[/size][/color]

[Guest Unosuke]

You're seventeen you say? Hey, you only got a year or so left! Just hang in there. Your mother is obviously very insecure about something or another. When a person actually begins to look for things to yell at you for and makes up things that aren't even true, then the problem is not with you, it's with them. Don't let her get you down. Your mom obviously has some problems she needs to work out on her end. Not much longer and you'll be able to get out on your own.

[wild thang]

im with dragon. my mom and my dad treat me and my sister like we're the most important things in the world. we're not. i say you should try to talk to her, and if that doesn't work, the next time she yells at you, throw a golf ball at her head. those tihngs really hurt.

anyway...

[XxmagentaxX]

I cant wait til October 15th I'll be 18, so my mom wont have as much control as she did before!

[HammerBlade]

Gosh, is your mom really like that? I dont know a single mom in the world that is like that...except maybe yours now...but yeah like dragon said, my mom is nothing like that. I'm sorry your mother is so well...unkind. Hey look on the bright side. Your 17, you'll be able to move out in a year! Go to college, get a degree (dont know what you wanna do for college? I guess cooking is always a neat thing), the whole shin-DIG.

About Unosukes post on this thread...Maybe you should try and talk to your mom about her life, and ask her if there is anything in her life you can help her with.

[future girl]

no, you don't do that, you don't talk to my mom 'cuz if you do all you get is slapped or mocked, i once wrote my mom a letter and it was like a thank you letter for her b-day and she made fun of me because of it. i got so pissed i snuck into her room and burned it. my mom is not a a person you can reason with, it's either her way or no way at all. once i remember i had to write a report and it was due the next day, but she wanted me to wash the dishes. i told her my grades were more important and that i would wash the dishes later. she got mad at me and started yelling and i got so mad i started crying. then because i was crying, she said she was gonna make me cry "for real" and so she started hitting me. i got even madder and as she walked away i started punching this desk and my whole forearm was purple and skin was dangling off it. she got mad and hit me again. you can't disucss things with her because she's the fucking devil.
i am virtually six months away from being 18 and yet that does not signify freedom, i am stuck here for another three years 'til i have enough money to go where i want to go. i don't want to run away because i don't want to depend on anyone. and if i ran away that would just make her mad and give her an actual reason to throw everything she throws in my face. to be truthful, i really don't care whether my mother loves me or not. i just want her to give me the respect i deserve. i don't want to be "her property" as she says i am. i want to be left alone,i want peace. eventually i know she'll have it. i think the reason my mother treats me like she does is because i don't need her like my other siblings do. i can do perfectly fine without her, unlike my brothers and sisters, that be it for emotional or otherwise cling to her skirts. accrding to my mother i am a heartless little *****. i don't care if i am, if this is what she made me. . .i can't explain this too clearly yet, i need to decipher it to myself, but i think this has something to do with it.

[Guest dayday]

I kinda imagined your mom getting mad and slapping you if you talked to her. That's why I hesitated to write that. Maybe the next time she hits you and you get mad and cry, hit her back or throw something at her that'll break. Like a plate or vase or something. Have your brothers and sisters ever seen what she's done to you? If they did I don't think they'd still be clinging to her.

[Corey]

Unfortunately, in your situation, I would think the best bet would be to take an unschedueled vacation from your house. Even if it's a few days. Just get out of there.

Your mother seems to be an extremely angry and violent person. Although you don't seem to be doing this, do not blame yourself. It isn't your fault. It's hers. She has a problem. If this progresses, and I really hate to do this, but I suggest you call social services. You may be better off in a foster home.

And a lot of the people on Ob are always willing to listen.

[XxmagentaxX]

My friends mom did the same thing...
would always put her down, take everything away from her, she freaking made her live the garage! and would let her in the house.
So she ran away and lived with me for about 2 1/2 months.

If she does anything again and you have bruises or scratches or anything, just go to the police and tell them what happened. they take kids stories over thier parents any day, especially if you have something to prove it.
Just try to get out of there, no one should have to go through that.

[Harry]

[QUOTE][i]Originally posted by anatema [/i]
[B]I know I am not the unluckiest person on this earth and that it is not new for a seventeen year old girl to have problems with her mom, but it?s driving me crazy. I can?t take it anymore, and I don?t want to say I hate her, but it?s the only thing that fits. All she does is belittle me, yell at me, criticize me. There isn?t a moment in my memory where my mom has told me what a good daughter I am, complimented me, given me credit for all I?ve done. It may sound like I?m flattering myself, but I am a good daughter. I get good *** grades, I don?t party, I don?t have friends, she?s never got a complaint about me from a teacher or any sort of authority figure. The reason is ironic, but I?ve always tried to do as good as I can just for that, to give her peace, to give her one less thing to worry about, but she never takes that into consideration, she never notices. You know how kids get rewards for A?s, all she ever does is tell me, ?It better stay that way.? It feels like she?s expecting to me **** up, waiting for it so that the moment it happens she can laugh at me. You know ppl who get teased, a lot of them see home as their safe haven, but it?s not so for me. I mean she treats me like ****. I mean, if I just woke up and I haven?t combed my hair why should that even matter. She starts telling me how ugly I look, how much of a disgrace I am, how much prettier all my other cousins are. I can?t handle that, I HAVE GOOD HAIR!!!!! It?s getting worse, I mean it?s normal when parents don?t like the way you dress, what you do with your hair, stuff like that, but my mom makes me feel like I?m some sort of an abomination. It?s getting to the point where I can?t look at her without wanting to crush her, to show her that I am better than what she says I am. I want to get away so badly, go somewhere where she can never find me.
I don't even know why I'm posting this, I don't feel some sort of special relatioship in OB that a lot of the other's members feel, i guess, i just need some sort of way to vent this, I need to give myself the illusion that someone is listening to me. [/B][/QUOTE]
Gee welcome tot he real world. Everyone has problems with there parents, and you're not some special case. When I was 17 I just didn't bother talking to my mom because she would go on some rant about how I'm such a failure and how she hates herself and some other crap :worried: Just ignore her, everyone else probably does.

[XxmagentaxX]

yea everyone goes through **** with their parents. doesnt mean that they have to put with physical abuse! or harsh verbal abuse. There should be no reason to hit or verbally abuse a child!
If my mom ever hit me I would have myself taken away from her so fast.

some parents go overboard with the verbal putdowns where its not bareable! I know Ive had to see it and put up with it.

As I see it alot people shouldnt have children.

[Harry]

[QUOTE][i]Originally posted by XxmagentaxX [/i]
[B]yea everyone goes through **** with their parents. doesnt mean that they have to put with physical abuse! or harsh verbal abuse. There should be no reason to hit or verbally abuse a child!
If my mom ever hit me I would have myself taken away from her so fast.

some parents go overboard with the verbal putdowns where its not bareable! I know Ive had to see it and put up with it.

As I see it alot people shouldnt have children. [/B][/QUOTE]
Where does it say that she was being physically abused? And don't give me this verbal abuse ****. Her mom is being a *****, so what. Here's something to make things easier anatema, just get a bunch of friends and hang out with them. Being at the house doesn't help your situation at all.

[GreenEyedDragon]

[QUOTE][i]Originally posted by anatema [/i]
[B] once i remember i had to write a report and it was due the next day, but she wanted me to wash the dishes. i told her my grades were more important and that i would wash the dishes later. she got mad at me and started yelling and i got so mad i started crying. then because i was crying, she said she was gonna make me cry "for real" and so she started hitting me. i got even madder and as she walked away i started punching this desk and my whole forearm was purple and skin was dangling off it. she got mad and hit me again. you can't disucss things with her because she's the ******* devil.
[/B][/QUOTE]

Harry, i don't know if you read through the whole thread or not, but she is getting abused, and its not just some parents hate teen episode, her mom really has some issues, so there's no need to make her feel worse by blowing it off and telling her to suck it up.

anatema, i seriously think the next time she hits you or abuses you, call the police, and they'll get you and contact social services. If you do this, they'll take your siblings away too, and you won't have to worry that she's taking it out on them. Also, where is you dad in all this mess? are they divorced, or did he pass away, or leave her?
if they're divorced or even if you merely know where he is, you might want to pack up and leave once you're 18. By then she can't call you a missing child, and you can live with your dad. But whatever you do, if you leave, make sure that you're siblings arent left with her, she might take it out on them

[Harry]

[QUOTE][i]Originally posted by GreenEyedDragon [/i]
[B]Harry, i don't know if you read through the whole thread or not, but she is getting abused, and its not just some parents hate teen episode, her mom really has some issues, so there's no need to make her feel worse by blowing it off and telling her to suck it up.[/B][/QUOTE]
I didn't see her second post.

[future girl]

i can't take my sibling with me, they're all WAY over 21. i'm the youngest daughter. my dad lives with me, but both of them are victims of very primitive thinking. they're from nicaragua, and they were both raised this way, even worse. in nicaruagua, you get smacked around, beat up and it's all part of parenting. it's normal. i know it isn't here, and i know that if i wanted to i could get taken away from this, and you might very well think me stupid for this, but i can't bring myself to do that to my mom. when she hits me i run, i dodge, lock my door. i don't think she's a bad person, i don't think she means well either, but if i ever did this to her i dont' know about how i would feel about it inside, i mean, it's hard to explain. my mom's treatment of me is no secret, my dad even says i deserve it. but he's an idiot and should be hit by a truck. my sister grew up like this, but they had a lot more freedom than me, they were able to get away. they had a car, they went to school together, they had a lot of friends, ppl to visit, ways to get away, and the same for my brothers. you know they had each other, i don't have them. they're grown up, and i'm left alone with her.

[Guest Chris]

[color=green][size=1]edit: heh, didn't see the second page.

well, i'm sorry about what's happening to you and there is nothing i can really do about it, seeing as how you don't want to abandon your mother. you could just threaten to tell the cops or something. i really don't know. all i can say is that i'll pray for you. good luck.[/size][/color]