Vicky Posted July 6, 2003 Share Posted July 6, 2003 Okay, I thought this up: This very simple, you post a joke, why you think it's funy or what you like about it. Just for a laugh. Nothing rude K? Here's mine: Waht do you call a dinosaur with one eye? A Do-You-think-he-saur-us! I like this because it been around since...when I was 7. My friends still say it. Oh, is this needs to be closed, I'm ok with that. No biggie. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shinobi Posted July 7, 2003 Share Posted July 7, 2003 Ok i got one...it's a long one but meh...it's worth it. "There is a Scotsman, an Englishman and an Irishman and they are running away from the police. They are running around in circles getting nowhere when the Scotsman points out an empty warehouse. So the three men pile into it and there are three empty sacks, so they hop in. The police were very confused in how they could just dissapear like that, so they decided to see if they snuck into the warehouse. So when the police went in, they saw three sacks. So they go over to the first sack with the Englishman in it and before they could open it he says "MEOW!". The police reply, "That must be a bag of kittens". They go up to the second sack with the Scotsman in it and before they could open it he says "WOOF!". The police reply, "That must be a bag of puppies". They then go up to the final bag, which conceals the Irishman and just when they are about to open it he says: [b]**say this in an Irish accent**[/b] [spoiler]POTATOES! POTATOES![/spoiler] Sorry if this offends anyone, it was not meant to offend. I love this joke becuase it was told by my favrouite comedian...Billy Connelly. I think it is funny but kinda sad why they always pick on the Irishman lol so yeah you could just make it 3 guys (one who is brainy, one who is average and one who is thick or sumthin) ^_^. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest dayday Posted July 7, 2003 Share Posted July 7, 2003 Okay some of you might not find this funny, but I do. It's not really a story type one. Walk up to somebody and say, "Your teeth so yellow when you close your mouth your body glow." I thought this was funny because a lot of people have yellow teeth. I heard this from my cousin while he was on the phone one day. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Corey Posted July 7, 2003 Share Posted July 7, 2003 I heard this one from my girlfriend. She has ADD and it made me litreally cramp up. [b]Joke Teller-[/b] "How many kids with ADD does it take to screw in a lightbulb?" [b]Person-[/b] "I don't k-" [b]Joke Teller-[/b](interrupting person) "Let's go ride bikes!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GreenEyedDragon Posted July 7, 2003 Share Posted July 7, 2003 well, this is very long, but there is a reason for it, i promise. [color=magenta]okay, you are the pilot of an airplane! the copilot is a 45 year old retired, blonde nurse....heh. First class is painted with pink walls and the chairs are robin's egg blue with purple polka dots. The window covers are painted black with the moon and stars on it, and the carpet down the aisle is bright yellow. The flight attendants in 1st class serve macaroni and cheese with ice cream and the toppings of your choice. Second class is painted neon green and the chairs are orange with red stripes. The window covers are designed to look like pinwheels in assorted colors, such as green, yellow, blue, pink, black, and grey. The carpet down the aisle is yellow with pinapples patterns. The flight attendants serve the usual peanuts with skittles on the side and your choice or drinks. Coach is painted navy blue and the seats are black leather with satin pillows under the seats. the window covers are beige with navy blue stripes, and the carpet down the middle is maroon. The flight attendants serve hot meals off a menu from a 5 star restaurant...The flight attendants' uniform is a comfortable, long, green skirt with a t-shirt top and matching flip flops!................................................................................................now, how old is the pilot? (answer=how ever old YOU are, because you are the pilot!) this is my favorite joke, but only when i'm able to say it, and not type it, because then the people i tell it to can't look back and catch the answer. I believe i heard it from my sister...[/color] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Terpischore Posted July 7, 2003 Share Posted July 7, 2003 [color=green] Hahah those were funny! It's weird - Alex and Shinobi, I"ve heard like different versions of each of yours! Shinobi, i heard yours as a blonde joke - and guess who said that they were in a sack of potatoes. Blonde, of course. And Alex, mine was like.... You're driving a bus and 3 people get on, to make 49 people. At the next stop, 4 people get on but 9 people get off. At the next stop, 7 people get on, and half the number of the people that are on now plus 18 get off. At the next stop, the number of the people on the bus now divided by 7 gets on, and then the number of how many legs are in the bus divided by 10 gets off. At the next stop, 17 people get on but 12 people get off. What color are the bus driver's eyes? TIS YOUR EYES!! Erm...i'll probably post a REAL joke sooner or later.[/color] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Corey Posted July 7, 2003 Share Posted July 7, 2003 That's more of a brain teaser, but good none the less. [center~~~[/center] At the Neeskara Grade School, it's Ms. Jean's birthday. Three children have brought her presents. The first child is a plump little boy. He walks up with a long thin package. The techer thinks [i]"Well, Tommy's dad is a florist, so it must be some flowers."[/i] She openes it up, "Oh Tommy! The roses are beautiful!" The next child walks up. He has a flat square box. The teacher thinks [i]"Well, John's dad work at a deparment store, so it's probably some clothes."[/i] She opens it up, "Oh John! This is a beautiful scarf!" The last child walks up. He has an enormus pakcage. He picks it up, walks a few feet, and drops it. He picks it up again, almost drops it, and puts it up on the teachers desk. A little bit of yelow liquid starts to flow from the corner. She thinks, [i]"Well, Ed's dad works at a liquor store, so it's probably some wine."[/i] She goes to open it and the kid slaps her hand. He looks at her with a smile. "You have to guess!" She smiled at Ed. "Is it wine?" Ed shook his head. The teacher dipped her finger in the leaking liquid and tasted it. "Are you sure it's not wine?" Ed looked up at her happily. "No, it's not wine. It's a puppy!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tasrai Posted July 8, 2003 Share Posted July 8, 2003 mine is a blonde joke so no offense... One day there was blonde rowing a boat in the middle of a cornfield. Soon a blonde woman stopped her car and asked what she was doing, the blonde in the boat said, "I'm rowing to shore." The blonde on the road yelled out to her, "You're are the kind of person that gives us blondes a bad name. And if I could swim I'd teach you a thing or two."... I just like that one. ^_^ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kesaki_Inedia Posted July 8, 2003 Share Posted July 8, 2003 lol all those are so funny. Here's one my mom taught it to me. The three lil' pigs went out to dinner. The waitress asked what they would like to drink First: Uh..coke. Second: I take a sprite remix. (I love those!!) Third: Water: lots and lotsa water. Then the waiter asked what they would like to eat. first: uh..steak. Second: I'll take a...salad. Third: water lots and lotsa water. The waiter asked what they would like to have for desert. First: mmmm, uh....cheesecake. second: I'll take a...ice cream. third: water lots and lotsa water. When the waiter gave them thier bill he asked the Third pig. "Why in the world did you only order water?" the pig smiled and explained: Well someone has to go wee-wee-wee all the way home. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Randleman Posted July 8, 2003 Share Posted July 8, 2003 this isn't really a joke, but I made it and found it funny. [img]http://www.johnami.com/~fateomcskippy/images/ontop.jpg[/img] unf unf unf Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kesaki_Inedia Posted July 8, 2003 Share Posted July 8, 2003 I dun get it. ?0_o? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Randleman Posted July 8, 2003 Share Posted July 8, 2003 [QUOTE][i]Originally posted by Kesaki_Inedia [/i] [B]I dun get it. ?0_o? [/B][/QUOTE] don't you like it on top? i do. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kesaki_Inedia Posted July 8, 2003 Share Posted July 8, 2003 ok that's...0.o and actually no. I like it on bottom. lol. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shippo Posted July 8, 2003 Share Posted July 8, 2003 ""A guy walked into a bar... he said OUCH"" I like that joke cause your supposed to think its a bar as in where u drink But its literally a BAR it took me sum time to get it Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Randleman Posted July 8, 2003 Share Posted July 8, 2003 [QUOTE][i]Originally posted by Kesaki_Inedia [/i] [B]ok that's...0.o and actually no. I like it on bottom. lol. [/B][/QUOTE] if you're a girl, then I like you. ;) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kesaki_Inedia Posted July 8, 2003 Share Posted July 8, 2003 0.o creepy....heh, yea I'm female. Looks around nervously. Uh next joke? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tasrai Posted July 8, 2003 Share Posted July 8, 2003 I read/heard this joke so many times it makes me sick, so I'm going to post it, just so I won't be alone. Two snakes were talking when one suddenly asked the other, "Am I poisonous?" The other asked, "I don't know. Why" The other snake answered, Because I just bit my tongue... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kesaki_Inedia Posted July 8, 2003 Share Posted July 8, 2003 Fall out of chair laughing. OMG thats soo funny. *notices parents are staring at her. They both whisper something about therapy* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jesus Chicken Posted July 8, 2003 Share Posted July 8, 2003 [color=blue]Ohhh, GOD!, Why? Jesus, these are offcially the lamest jokes in the world. I would just like to know, if anyone here likes Baby Jokes? Because if you do, I shall post them, but I probably need a guarantee that no one will get me arrested first.[/color] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Terpischore Posted July 9, 2003 Share Posted July 9, 2003 There were two muffins in the oven and one muffin says to the other "Wow! I've never met a talking muffin before!" and the other muffin says "Ahh!! A talking muffin!" Sorry, had to post that one..i think that's how it goes.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Corey Posted July 9, 2003 Share Posted July 9, 2003 JC, I sincerely hope you're talking about the 'dead baby' jokes. Like: [b]Q:[/b] What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a pile of bricks? [b]A:[/b] I don't have a pile of bricks in my garage. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HoT LaVa 904 Posted July 9, 2003 Share Posted July 9, 2003 Two Kids are tellin "Yo Momma Jokes" and one kid says, "If we are talking about mommas then keep my momma out of this and I'll keep this (Points to his Private parts) out Yo Momma! " "YO momma so fat she ask god " Let There Be Light" and god was like " Move your Fat A$s Out The Way Then" Yo Momma so stank she made right gaurd turn left and speed stick slow down Yo momma so skinny she makes a tooth pick look fat Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Fly-T Posted July 9, 2003 Share Posted July 9, 2003 There was another one You so stinky you make secret tell it all..... This a blonde joke: A Brunette, Blonde, and Redhead were getting the death penalty by execution The first up was a Brunette...the executioners asked her did she have any last words...The Brunette replied "TORNADO!"....the executioners turned around, distracted and the brunette got away. Next up was the redhead.....the executioners asked her did she have any last words...thinking about whar the brunette said, she replied and yelled "HURRICANE" the executioners turned arund distracted once again and t hen the redhead got away.. Next up was the blonde...the executioners asked her did she have any last words.....she came up with one and then she yelled "FIRE" and then they did....lol, i crack myself up on that one... A momma and her son were trying to "rip" on each other when the momma started off with saying "Yo Momma so...." Yo momma so ugly when she sleeps, her pillow cries at night. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
terra Posted July 9, 2003 Share Posted July 9, 2003 this is a blonde joke, though I have nothing against blondes. a blonde and a redhead are watching the news, and it's showing this guy who's on a ledge on a building, threatening suicide. the redhead says, "I bet you ten bucks he jumps!" the blonde says, "fine, you're on." the guy on the news jumps, and the blonde is disappointed, but gives the redhead the ten dollars. the redhead then says, "you know what, keep your money, I feel guilty. this happened earlier today, and I saw it on the news before and knew he was going to jump." the blonde says, "why should you feel guilty? I saw that too, and I felt *sure* he wouldn't jump again!!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vicky Posted July 9, 2003 Author Share Posted July 9, 2003 lol! The blonde ones are good! YOU are funny you lot! lol! *(cracks out laughing and falls on the floor* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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