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Yu-Gi-Oh! Cast Gets Interviewed


Bandit Joeykuba
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Chapter One: Yami vs. The Talk Show Host (TSH)

DISCLAIMER: I may not own Yu-Gi-oh and it's characters, but I do own the 'It's so Late it's EARLY' show, TSH, Mike AND Joe! Go me!



TSH: Hello and welcome to the 'It's so Late it's EARLY' Show, I'm your host... *squints to try to read the cuecard* Uhhhhh... Talk Show Host............... Yeah... Anyways, on tonight's... this morning's show, we have a special guest with us here today. His name is Yami Yugi and he was Pharoah... of Egypt... 5,000... years... ago? *whispers* Is that correct? How is that possible? *smiles at the camera* Let's give a hand for Yami everyone!

Audience: ... *cricket chirping*

Yami: *walks out, staring at all the equipment* What type of shadow magic is this?

TSH: Hello Yami!

Yami: How do you know my name?

TSH: May I call you Yami?

Yami: I have been called many things, Pharoah... Yami... Yu-Gi-Oh... So, sure, Yami's fine with me... How did you know my name?

TSH: I ask the questions here.

Yami: ...Oh...

TSH: So, Yami, I heard that you were the ruler of Egypt, some... 5,000 years ago.

Yami: You know, that wasn't really a question...

TSH: *glares*

Yami: ER, uh, yeah, I was Pharoah... Until that sorceror came around and forced me to lock myself in the Millenium Puzzle... *growls*

TSH: Well, Yami, you don't look a day over... 16...

Yami: Well, I [b]AM[/b] a spirit.

TSH: ... Yeah... It comes to my understanding that you have a God Card... and a "millenium item" called the "Millenium puzzle..."

Yami: Are you one of Marik's mindslaves?

TSH: Uh... No...

Yami: You are!

TSH: Uh, thank-you for your time Yami!

Yami: I challenge you to a Shadow Game!

TSH: SECURITY!

Yami: I'LL DEFEAT YOU!

TSH: SECURITY! HURRRRRRRRRRRRRRYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!



TsH: ... That was... odd... Uh, after this commercial break, we will be interviewing Joey Wheeler... *praying-ly* Please don't let him be like Yami... PLEASE! Have mercy on me Lord!



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Chapter 2: Lapdog and Idiot Goes Hand-in-Hand

TSH: Welcome back, if you'll recall, we had to drag Yami away... because he's a physco. Now we have Joey Wheeler, an ex-bully with a New York accent... joy...

Joey: *walks in, blinking*

Random Audience Member: LOOK IT'S THE LAPDOG!

Audience: *laughs*

Joey: I'll show ya whose a lapdog! I'll have ya begging for mercy, ya little punk!

TSH: Er, uh, Joey? We're on a talk show, not Jerry Springer.

Joey: Eh? Oh, a sorry.

Audience: JER-RY! JER-RY!

TSH: :shifty: Oh, ha ha, very funny. So, Joey, may I call you Joey?

Joey: That's my name! If my name was Bob, that's what you'd be calling me.

TSH: Right, anyways, I hear your an ex-bully.

Joey: Dat's right. I pretty much gave it up when I met Yug'.

TSH: Yug'?

Joey: Yug' is my buddy! We hang outta lot.

TSH: Oh-kay... Errr, uh, you placed second in Duelist Kingdom, correct?

Joey: Yep! I'm da bomb! And I'm single ladies! *runs up to the camera* C'mon ladies, you know ya want me! My number is 555-

TSH: JOEY! This is not a advertising show! Get back over here!

Joey: *defeatedly walks back over and sits*

TSH: *gives Joey a doggie treat* Your such a good boy!

Joey: :wow: Grrrr... NOBODY CALLS ME A DOG!

TSH: Don't make me get a newspaper!

Joey: *pouts*

TSH: Now Joey, any advice before you leave?

Joey: *blinks* You mean... Your gonna kill me?

TSH: NOOOOOOOOOOO! I mean before you leave the show so we can have our next guest!

Joey: ...*blinks* Oh. Well, uh, remember, a chicken is not a duck! *walks off*

TSH: *sighs* He's such an idiot!... Er, after this next commercial break, Seto Kaiba, CEO of Kaiba Corp and host of Battle City.
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Chapter 3: How to Make a Kaiba Mad

TSH: *doesn't relize camera is on* Note to self: Find better job... *looks at the camera* Uh, er, um, er... Welcome back fans! As you might recall, we now have Seto Kaiba, ex-champion of Duel Monsters!

Seto: *walks in holding his breifcase that looks like it weighs twenty or so pounds*

Female Audience Members: KAI-BA! WE LOVE YOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUU!

Male Audience Members: *amongst themselves*:grumble: We could be just as attractive if WE were millionaires and had a fancy trenchcoat!

Seto: *glaring*

TSH: Hello and Welcome Seto Kaiba! May I call you Seto?

Seto: Call me anything other than Kaiba and I can be sure your fired.

TSH: *smiles widely* You could do that?

Seto: ...Fine, I'd have you killed...

TSH: Er, nevermind, I'll call you Kaiba.

Seto: That's better. *still glaring for some reason*

TSH: You don't seem to happy to be here.

Seto: What are you talking about? I'm in a good mood today!

TSH: But your glar-

Seto: *shoots him the death glare*

TSH: Never mind. So Kaiba, you run Kaiba Corp, correct?

Seto: Yes, I am CEO... I get to do all the fun stuff.

TSH: And you have a little brother?

Seto: Yes, Mokuba Kaiba. He's a tad bit hyperactive.

TSH: Moe-koo-bah? What kind of name is that?

Seto: WHAT DID YOU SAY ABOUT MY BROTHER! *lunges at TSH*

TSH: :eek: MOKUBA IS A WONDERFUL NAME!

Seto: *calms down and sits down, still glaring*

TSH: I hear you have this thing for Yugi Motou and his friend Joey-

Seto: I DON'T LIKE THE IMP OR HIS MUTT FRIEND!

TSH: I meant, a thing AGAINST Yugi and Joey.

Seto: Oh, yeah. Yugi beats me in duels and the mutt... is just plain annoying and idiotic.

TSH: I know what you mean. So, how does it feel to be the EX-Duel Monsters Champion of the world?

Seto: I WILL GET MY REVENGE ON YUGI! EVEN IF IT'S THE LAST THING I DO!

TSH: You scare me.

Seto: That's the way it should be.

TSH: So, final question, how much security is there at Kaiba Corp?

Seto: Are you planning to kidnap me and/or my brother in attempt to control it?

TSH: No.

Seto: I'm still not telling you. *glares at the camera again* ...Can I leave now?

TSH: Please.

Seto: *glares at the camera one last time and then runs off*

TSH:...After this commercial break, we get to meet the duel monsters creator, Maximillion Pegasus. Please, dear Lord, don't let HIM be a freak or a physco!
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Authors Note: Before I go on, I must point out one thing, this next chapter is going to be the shortest of them all. On with the story.

Chapter 4: Dead Men Tell No Tales

TSH: Welcome back once again, viewers! Now, we have Maximillion Pegasus, creator of the Duel Monsters card game.

Random Person (That works on the Show): *comes down and whispers something to TSH*

TSH: :eek: *looks at the camera and puts a fake smile on* It seems that Maximillion Pegasus will not be able to join us today due to the fact he met his unfortunate demise. That's right, he kicked the bucket and is now six feet under and sleeping with the worms. We will now take a commercial break while we try to find a replacement guest.
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Chapter 5: Oh my!

TSH: Okay, we managed to find a replacement! Now introducing, Ryou Bakura (A/N: To keep down on confusion Bakura is Ryou and Yami Bakura is Bakura)!

Ryou: *comes walking in, quite calmly*

TSH: Hello Ryou, may I call you Ryou?

Ryou: Yes, you may.

TSH: Thank-you for coming in at such short notice.

Ryou: Your quite welcome.

TSH: You know, you don't seem like such a freak like my other guests today.

Ryou: Why, thank you... I think.

TSH: *looks at the Millenium Ring* What's that thing?

Ryou: It's called the Millenium Ring. *touches it and it glows* Oh my. *transforms to Bakura*

TSH: Ryou, are you okay?

Bakura: Ryou? You must mean my host. I'm Bakura.

TSH: *blinks* Riiiiiiiiiight. So, Ryou-

Bakura: *hisses and pulls out a dagger* BAKURA!

TSH: *inches away from Bakura* My bad, Bakura, what part did you play in Duelist Kingdom.

Bakura: I killed Pegasus!

TSH: ...:eek: WHAT?!?! ...*meekly* How?

Bakura: Well, I beat him in a Shadow Game and then pulled out his Millenium Eye because he lost! :D I could show it to ya!

TSH: I'll pass.

Bakura: Oh c'mon, I licked the blood off!

tSH: That's just sick. Excuse me... *picks up trash can* :sick: *wipes mouth off with a hankerchief*

Bakura: Now, THAT was SICK!

TSH: I take it back, you are a freak.

Bakura: *growls* What did you say? DID YOU JUST INSULT ME?! A PATHETIC MORTAL JUST INSULTED THE GREAT AND POWERFUL TOMBROBBER?! *transforms back to Ryou*

TSH: *has hid under his desk* :eek:

Ryou: *sees dagger in hand* ...Oh my. What did I do this time? *puts it up*

TSH: *crawls out from under his desk* You aren't going to kill me?

Ryou: Why would I do a thing like that?

TSH: Thank-you Mr. Bakura!

Ryou: I thought you were calling me Ryou?

TSH: ...I'd appericiate it if you'd leave... NOW!

Ryou: *walks off* Silly man.
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Chapter 6: Mokuba Explains All

TSH: And now we have with us Mal-

Mokuba: *runs in* *talking fast* LETMEBEON!!!!!!

TSH: Are you lost little boy?

Mokuba: *still taliking quickly* MYBIGBROTHERWILLGIVEYOUAHUNDREDDOLLARSINCASH!

TSH: Okay, then, what's your name?

Mokuba: My name is Mokuba Kaiba.

TSH: The Mokuba Kaiba? Seto Kaiba's little brother who has been kidnapped so many times that it's not funny?

Mokuba: Yep! That's me!

TSH: *evil grin* Note to self: Kidnap the brat

Mokuba: Did you say something mister?

TSH: Errr, no! So Mokuba, what's it like to live with Seto Kaiba?

Mokuba: My big brother is sooooooooo cool! This one time he threw me a party and he was a clown!!!!!!!! *shows pictures of Kaiba dressed in a clown suit*

Kaiba: *backstage, seeing and hearing everything* Note to self: never let Mokuba do this again.

TSH: Really now.

Mokuba: And another time, he blew up our microwave trying to fix us burritos.

Kaiba: *is tempted to run on stage to prevent further embrassment*

Mokuba: And another time he got sick and had to get a shot and he cried because he didn't like shots.

Kaiba: *is running to Mokuba*

Mokuba: And another time he went to this party Yugi was throwing and they were playing Truth or Dare and he picked Dare and he had to kiss Jo-

Kaiba: *clamps his hand over Mokuba's mouth*

TSH: Let the boy finish!

Audience: *throws random objects at Kaiba*

Kaiba: Say good-bye to the nice talk show host, Mokuba!

Mokuba: ^_^ Bye-bye mister-talk-show-host-guy-person-dude!

Kaiba: *drags Mokuba off*
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Chapter 7: Love & Dreams

WARNING: Shonen-ai(BoyxBoy love) is in this chapter. The only reason why is because I like the BakuraxMarik pairing. Also, Marik is kinda OOC in this, but I think it's what he really thinks.

TSH: Now we have a special guest, Marik Ishtar.

Marik: *comes strutting in*

Audience: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Marik: *glares and waves M. Rod at them threatingly*

Audience: *applaud*

Marik: *sits down*

TSH: So, Marik, your from Egypt right?

Marik: Yeah.

TSH: And you had to live underground.

Marik: Yeah.

TSH: Any stories you'd like to share?

Marik: One day, my sister, Ishizu and I snuck out and when we came back, my father had nearly beaten Odian to death. Next thing I knew, my dad was dead!

TSH: :eek: Don't tell me your like Ryou.

Marik: You know Ryou? Did ya meet Bakura? Bakura is cool! He has the Millenium Eye that he stole from Pegasus! It's cool!

TSH: Err, yeah. So, Marrrrrik, do you have a romance life?

Marik: Well, I did kiss Bakura once. I like him!

TSH: That's freaky.

Marik: No it's not!

TSH: But that would mean your... gay...

Marik: So?

TSH: Er... Moving on... Do you have any goals in life?

Marik: I wanna open a flower shop!

TSH: ...A...Flower...Shop?

Marik: what? Can't a guy open a flower shop?

TSH: I guess...

Marik: That or I want to be a nurse!

TSH: You... a nurse?

Marik: What?

TSH: Nevermind. What do you do for money now?

Marik: I babysit! I like the kids I watch.

TSH: Your weird.

Marik: Am not!

TSH: I think this interview is over.

Marik: Good! I have a manicure at two. Chow! *strides off*
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