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Tour de France


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[color=darkgreen][font=gothic]Well, in my opinon, Tour De France is getting a bit dated. When are we going to see the Exercise Bike tour De France? Or the Winter Ice-Skate-Bike Tour? The ride-on lawnmower Tour?

How about the Hills Hoist Tour De France? France isn't the only place allowed to have Tours, you know. We could have A Tour Dee Australia, hills hoist style. The lead person would have to hang yellow shirts on his line.

(For those of you who don't know what a Hills Hoist is, or how to drive one, it is a type of washine line and you drive it by lifting the top off the ground and winding up the top so it sticks out, then lifting up the back end and winding it back in again. It's a painful process, but god damn, it's a worthwhile one.)

Or in the warmer states, we could have Washing Machine races, where you ride the vibrations out for half the race, take the clothes out and hang them on the ol' Hoist for the last 100 metre sprint.

Bicycles are boring - I say, come on France, they've been done. Where are the wheelcars? The chinese junks? Wheelbarrows? Tibetan Yaks? Musk oxen? Ice ships? Llamas? Canoes? Palanquins? Rafts? Stilts? Horse Sedans? Tocans? Goat Carriges?
WHERE ARE THE FLYING MACHINES, PEOPLE?

Donnez-moi une coupure, les gens.

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Well, for one France is not the only country that has bicycle tours. For instance there is the Tour of Italy and the Tour of Spain. Also, the sport itself is not date in my personal opinion(that is also the opinion of about 700,000,000+ people). So why should we give you a break?
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