Lack of communication

[Zidargh]

[size=1][color=darkblue] It's I again, down, feeling moody etc, with another situation of which I'd like to hear your views on.

Basically, me and my father just cant talk. There has been no major obstacle that hasnt been overcome between us in the past, just I dont understand. Today I was sitting in a restaurant as I see my dad on Wednesday's and on weekends, and there it was, just him and my brother talking.

Every time I attempted to bring up a topic, it'd just result in me being stared at awkwardly as if I had said something insulting. As the meal continued, my brother would take out his school report and recieve praises etc. I am fine with this by the way, yet, whenever I talk about an achievement, I recieve a quote such as, ''Oh right.''

I don't understand. My father asks if there is a problem between us and immediately I say no, yet, deep down there is something there which I just cant seem to seek out. I am overriden with guilt from my childhood, I dont understand why, psychological issues I guess.

But the talk of me seeing less of my dad as I get older because ''I want to do my own things'' really upsets me. It just seems like I'm being pushed away. I dont want to lose anything with my dad, last thing I thought I had a really good bond. Yet, I may be wrong. And now I'm not going to see him for two weeks as he's away on holiday with his girlfriend.

What do you think? Ever experienced this before?[/color][/size]

[Celia]

[color=0099FF][size=1] Well, I have never experience such thing before, but I know how it feels.

Once, I was trying to start a conversation with my dad, and he just makes up all these excuses why he can't talk to me right now. And later, I asked my mom what did I do to dad that made him so mad... She said I said something really really rude to him, and he's mad.
In that moment, I felt as if no one in the world cared about me anymore and I was sooooo left out.

When I see him talking to my brother, my heart is ripped...[/color][/size]