Writing Sword of Storms (first fanfic)

[Mina]

This is something of a wierd story. It doesn't start out so interesting. If 'ne one can drop some comments, I'd be glad.
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Sword of Storms
Prolouge

It was a beautiful sight to behold. The lithe blade glowed a crystal blue, the hilt was of burnished gold with Leyundra?s crest, a circle with a two pronged lightning, emblazoned on the hilt. This was the mighty Sword of Storms. During each of its many triumphs, the blade had tasted immortal blood and vast power.

The weapon itself was forged from the escence of the most tempest disasters by the Goddess Leyundra, Mistress of Storms. It was the very blade that stopped the Underworld?s dark rebellion in its tracks and tore at its throat with unrelenting force. The blade won the Great War of the Celestial Gods and banished the spawn of darkness back to the Underworld. But soon after its biggest glory, the fabled Sword was lost.

Some say the Sword?s unrelenting force was infused within the Gods themselves and yet others claimed the Sword was delibratly hidden from Gods and mortals alike. In any case, the whereabouts of the Sword remained a mystery.
Now a strengthening Drannonair, God of the Underworld, seeks to conduct a search for the lost Sword. With its power, he would have the strength to force the Celestials to their knees and establish himself as the Dark God of three worlds.

Now as he is still weak, his Generals lead a coup to the human world to hunt for the Sword. If they succeed in finding the fabled blade, the Universe shall bow to its weilder.
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Sword of Storms
Chapter 1: Story of the Sword

Ralis sighed as she waved her rag outside the window. Little dustmotes flew out to the sunlight, dancing in the breeze. This was extremely tedious. She was to be the next priestess of Leyundra the Tempest, but how would she train for it if she was assigned to dust the idols. This was about as interesting as picking the seeds out of the cotton.

Ralis set the statue down. It was one of the minor demigods, one of dozens more she had already worked upon. Pushing a few stray ebony hairs from her eyes, Ralis looked toward the main altar. The Goddess stood regally atop a platform of carved silver. Leyundra was an astonishing figure. She stood very tall and was decorated in robes of pale blue and silver and shiningly ornamented in soft lapis lazuli. Her eyes showed vast intelligence as well as a powerful and feral look. Ralis stared on in awe as she had done for all her fourteen years. Unconsiously, she adjusted her blue and silver uniform and smoothed down her hair.

?Admiring your idol??
Ralis turned to the husky voice. It was Fiyona, the current priestess of Leyundra.
The girl bowed respectfully to her teacher. ?I was taking a brief rest, Madam.?
?I see.? Fiyona replied softly. ?You?ve done quite a bit of work, my dear. Leyundra would be pleased by your dedication.?

Ralis shifted slowly. Wiping her hands on her pale blue tunic, she spoke. ?Well, madam, I can?t say I?m truly dedicated to dusting statues. When shall I learn to do the more important things??
Fiyona folded her hands into her long robes. Her long hair was brushed back and tied neatly in a silver ribbon. Even with her old age, the priestess bore traces of her youthful beauty.
?You don?t think cleanliness in place of worship is important??

Ralis blushed. She had been told many times. No job in the Temple is more important than the other.
?I?m sorry, Madam.? Her green eyes fell upon Leyundra?s right hand, resting upon a tall sword.
?The Sword of Storms.? Fiyona said. ?The greatest weapon of the Gods. It was hidden by Leyundra herself because of its powers.?
?Has anyone found it?? asked Ralis. ?Do tell me the story again.?

Fiyona smiled. ?Well, since it is your resting time.?
She sat down on the seat beside the altar and Ralis, as befit her rank as student, sat upon the ground attentively.

Fiyona began. ?A long time ago, before any of our ancestors were brought to this world, the Gods ruled over many vast territories. Each diety took upon an element and infused himself in it. The Celestial beings all resided in harmony until....?
?Drannonair, god of the Underworld.? said Ralis. ?He wanted to rule the world.?
?Not just this world.? Fiyona said. ?But he wanted all three worlds: World of the Gods, Men and Demons. He lead his group of demons in a rebellion and seemed almost unstoppable until Leyundra came forth.?
She paused and looked reverently at her diety.
?Leyundra, created from the storms that forged our world, produced the Sword of Storms. That same Sword banished the souls of Drannonair?s minions to the Underworld and nearly slew Drannonair himself. Horribly weakened, he fled to his Underkingdom and was never seen since.? Fiyona sighed. ?And then, dear, Leyundra hid the Sword. Fearing its power would fall into the wrong hands, she hid it safely. No one has ever found it. Many expeditions have searched, but nothing ever turned up.?

Ralis smiled, certainly impressed. What if she was the one who found the Sword?
Fiyona stood. ?Well, dear, we must be getting back to our duties. It?s almost evening and time for the Cleansing Ceremony.?
Ralis stood and bowed as Fiyona walked away. She picked up another demigod and began dusting his marble face.
Yes, what if she found the Sword of Storms? She would be famous in all three worlds, but if experienced trekkers couldn?t find it, what chance did she have? But she was closer than she thought.

[Sandy]

Ooh, classic! :D

Though the beginning isn't that original, it doesn't matter if you bring enough of yourself into it. A heroine in lead is a big change in itself. Do continue, Mina! I, for one, will be reading. ;)

[Mina]

Okies then. ^^ This Ch 2. The poem is very cheesy, so don't dwell on it.
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Sword of Storms
Chapter 2- The Clue for the Sword.

The caverns of the Underworlds gleamed brightly with the veins of rich minerals slashed across the walls.
Rocky cliff edges jutted out towards a red sea of flames. Horrifying statues reared up along the walls and dilapidated columns. The tunnels echoed terribly with the keening wails of tortured spirits and starved beasts.

Rath Shrazon stood contemptuously over the crumbling cliffedge overlooking a deep pit which pulsed a sickening green aura. Screams rose and fell from all sides of the dark hall, but did not penetrate the calm shell of the General. He was deep in thought.
What was the chance of him succeeding in his mission? How well had he seen the odds when he had accepted this mission?
Rath hated to lose. Folding his draconic wings close, he studied his options.

?So serious.? a sensuous feminine voice rang out behind the General. ?What are you so flustered about??
Rath?s cold black eyes softened as he beheld the woman. She stood smiling coyly in a purple and silver robe. Her luxurious white hair dropped till her feet and her fierce golden pupils glowed in her perfectly shaped eyes.
The woman walked forward with fluid grace. She smirked at the pit of pained souls and turned back to her consort. Wrapping her jeweled arms around Rath?s neck, she pressed her head against his chest.
?You will find the Sword of Storms.? she whispered. ?You will rise even higher, perhaps rule the Underworld itself.?

Rath slipped on arm around her waist and pushed her hair back with the other arm.
?I know I?ll find the Sword, Umbriel.? Rath said softly, enjoying her touch. ?I have you by my side.?
Umbriel exhaled sharply, looking at Rath. He was so handsome. Born in the Underworld itself, he had jet black hair that reached his mid-back and black eyes. He was clad in black armor, his sword hung by his side and dark red cape fell over his leathery bejeweled wings.
Suddenly Umbriel felt degraded, like she had betrayed. She loved him so and she leapt at this opportunity to be by his side during a campgain.
?I don?t know where it is hidden.? Umbriel said. ?Lord Drannonair won?t care. But I don?t know where the Sword is.?

?No one does.? Rath said. ?I should know they certainly wouldn?t let you know once you betrayed them.?
Umbriel closed her eyes. She had been a Celestial Goddess, and like them all, she wanted to win the war for the Gods. That is, until Rath showed up. He had sweapt her away at first sight. She knew she could never get over this forbidden affair.
Rath?s feelings were mutual. She was the only one who had ever touched his loveless heart. Seeing as how Rath could never leave the Underworld, Umbriel joined him in the bitter realm. The Celestials were outraged. They had banished her soul to the Underworld, denying her the gate to heaven forever. Now all she had was Rath.

She hugged him tighter. ?I?ll help you, Rath. Even if it costs my life.?
?You have my gratitude, darling.? whispering softly, he pulled her close.
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Ralis groaned as she pulled her sleep pack across the floor. She laid it out, a plain feather matress, a soft pillow and a wollen blanket, all decorated with Leyundra?s crest, signifing the Temple?s property.
?You?re staying here tonight?? asked Lysa, another student in the temple.
Ralis rather disliked the snobby girl. She had come here from a neighboring village in which her parents were high nobility. She groaned at the simplest assignment and was forever ranting about the smallest things.

?Yes.? replied Ralis. ?If you have a problem, you may take it up with Madam Fiyona.?
She smiled as Lysa blanched. Madam Fiyona was more than godly figure and she knew how to put idiots in their place.
?Well, don?t expect me to make room for you here.? Lysa sniffed obnoxiously. ?I was here first.?
?Where do I sleep?? demanded Ralis, on the edge of irritation.
?Try over there.? Lysa pointed to a space near the window on the far end of the sleeping hall.
Ralis frowned. The window space was the coldest and most uncomfortable spot especially in autumn. Lysa was arranging her own things along her space.
Remembering her lesson is cordiality toward guests, Ralis carried her own things toward the window.

?Don?t forget this piece of trash.? Lysa called unkindly.
Ralis turned in time to see the girl fling a small object across the floor and out the door.
?My mirror!? Ralis leapt after the artifact. The polished mirror slid playfully on the waxed marble floors untill it stopped at the altar of Leyundra.
Ralis snatched it up at once. She smoothed the mirror over. It was the only personal item she had brought from her family?s house. How dare that snobby outsider do such a thing?
She sighed and looked up at Leyundra. Why, goddess?
Ralis sat down at the figure?s feet. Wait till she was priestess...she would never allow this piece of slime to enter the grounds.
She sighed. She propped her back on the the giant sword....and to her surprise, the sword moved with her weight.
Ralis turned back, feverently hoping not to have broken anything. The sword was still turning, bright letters could be made out. Using all her lessons, Ralis read:

Leyundra?s blade,
The Sword of the Storm,
Rests to awaken
In a Celestial form.

The Lord of Death,
Seeks the fabled blade.
The Dark will rise,
The Celestials fade.

The blade will rise
In a tempest storm
From a humansoul
To kill Darkspawn.

Sacrifice shall be his fate,
His dark past he shall learn.
Truths falling into light,
He her love shall earn.

Writing about the Sword of Storms? Ralis gasped once, her anger at Lysa gone forever.
?Madam Fiyona!? Ralis scrambled up at once. ?Madam Fiyona!?