Writing Original story: The Eye of Slain Children

[klinanime1]

Just something I thought up. I'll update this later, if anyone actually reads it. Names are placed in ?Western style,? with the surnames after the first names despite being Japanese. 2 part fiction.
~*~
Part I.
?Konbanwa, Sayuri. How is Aki? He wasn?t in school today?
?Oh, konnichiwa, Ten?ou-kun. Aki was running a fever today, so I kept him in.? The brunette smiled warmly in return. Sayuri is nineteen years of age and rather slender, a quiet, solitary girl who worked at a catering shop and did odd jobs to support herself and younger brother Aki of thirteen years.
?Well, he didn?t miss much in class today. I brought some worksheets he should do. If you need anything, Sayuri Sato?? Takumi Ten?ou said, getting the worksheets out of his briefcase as he spoke.
?Arigato gozaimasu, Ten?ou-kun. It?s good that Aki has a teacher who?s worried about him. I would gladly accept your offer for help, but I am worried about your safety.? Sayuri took the worksheets and tucked them into her bag of groceries, pulling her coat more tightly about her as a chilling breeze flitted up the street, blowing errant snow into her hair.
Takumi shrugged. ?I?m not worried. I know the people in town say that those who guard you become cursed, but I feel that the deaths of your parents and the death of Ryota Matsushita are merely coincidences. Your parents? deaths were mysterious, but Matsushita-san was old in years. His son is, after all, twenty-two.?
?Ryota Matsushita wasn?t that old. He was fifty-two, and the manner that all three of them appeared to have died were strikingly similar. The doctors said that they all had damage to the nervous system.?
?You can?t keep working so many odd jobs to support the two of you. The bills themselves must be hefty, and I know you wanted to go to college ever since I?ve taught you.?
?I make ends meet, and Aki and I use the fireplace in the winter and go into the basement in the summer, so the bills aren?t so heavy. I need to go, Takumi. I?ve never been this late before, and Aki will be worried.
?I could recommend you for scholarships.?
?And who will take care of Aki if I go to college? Oyasumi, Ten?ou-san.?
?Oyasumi.?
Sayuri clutched the collar of her coat tighter to ward off the chill and turned to head to her home. Her white snow boots squelched as she walked, and her slender frame shook in the cold.
?Yameru! You are Sayuri Sato, ne??
Sayuri turned. ?Konnichiwa, Sora.?
The old woman had rushed out to her. She had once been a highly esteemed miko, but the temple she had presided over had been accidentally burned to the ground. With it, as it?s said, her skills had waned, though known of the locals dared to say it to her face. Sayuri personally thought Sora was becoming more like a minor fortune-teller as she tried to redeem herself, but as Sayuri was a tender, soft-spoken girl she had always been polite towards Sora.
?What is it between you and Takumi Ten?ou??
Sayuri?s patience was fading faster than the sun?s rays outside as the air grew more and more frigid. ?Sora, there is nothing between us. Takumi Ten?ou is forty-three, and I am nineteen, surely you must know that.? There was a slight bite of sarcasm to her statement.
Sora smiled, ?And now that I?ve got your attention, there is something I must tell you.? Her expression grew grim. ?There is a danger approaching you. It?s coming swiftly, with malicious intent towards Aki.?
Sayuri froze, then smiled at herself for allowing the old woman to play on her fears. ?Thank you for forewarning me, Sora. How much for your warning?? Sora was known for rushing to forewarn a traveler and then demanding a fee.
?None from you, Sayuri Sato. I can tell you do not believe me, and besides, you have little enough money to use as it is. Oyasumi, Sayuri-chan.? Sora shivered and trotted back into her house. Sayuri stood there a little before finally heading home.
She shivered and hoped that the fire hadn?t gone out. Sayuri?s footsteps crunched in the snow, and she sped up, walking briskly through the street. She was staring down at her feet, watching as the snowflakes fell on her boots and melted away. Light suddenly illuminated her path. Sayuri looked up. ?Aki Sato, your fever!?
Her younger brother had run, barefoot, out into the snow. ?You?re returning really late, what happened??
Aki quickly took one of the bags of groceries from his sister and rushed in, shivering. Sayuri smiled, ?Oh, just Sora-sama. She stopped me on the way here.?
?Oh, that old ?miko??? Aki shut the door behind them. ?What did she want??
?Nothing really. Have you been running around all afternoon?? Sayuri asked disapprovingly.
?No, just when it hit six. You?ve never been this late before.? Aki took his bag of groceries into the kitchen, tracking in melting water.
?Alright then, get back into bed and I?ll bring you up something to eat.? Sayuri groaned, ?Oh, I?ll sort out the groceries later,? and dumped the bags into the refrigerator. She tossed her purse onto the counter.
?I?m fine. You know, I?m fourteen and I ~can~ work the stove. We had leftovers from yesterday.?
?You?re thirteen, and you?ll be thirteen until next week.? Aki pulled a face and went back upstairs. Sayuri smiled. She sank into an armchair and stared into the fire. What did Sora mean?
***
Sayuri woke up awhile later, but couldn?t place the source that had awakened her. She shivered. How did the fire go out? Heavy footsteps sounded from behind her. Her heart pounded and she leaned carefully out from behind the chair. A hideously deformed human-like shape stood still, looking around in front of what had been the door. Sayuri settled back in, hoping he wouldn?t notice her.
?The boy, where is the boy??
The hissing voice stood Sayuri?s hair on end. Sora?s warning exploded upon her. The creature stalked past the stairs, and Sayuri sighed in relief. She crept to the kitchen, snatched up her purse and ran as quietly as she could up the stairs. Ryota Matsushita had given her a key to his house, and she figured she and Aki could hide there next door. She quickly shut the door, hearing footsteps coming up the stairs.
?Aki? Aki, wake up.? Sayuri?s voice shook as she opened a window.
?What is it?? Aki was muddled with sleep. ?What?s wrong??
?Get up; get up now.? Sayuri almost screamed as the door burst open. She grabbed Aki and leapt out the window. The shock and cold had awakened Aki, and he ran with Sayuri.
?Who, what was that? Where are we going?? Aki panted as he was pulled after Sayuri. She fumbled with the key as they heard the thing behind them hit the ground.
Somehow she threw the door open and slammed it shut behind them as they ran in, throwing her weight behind the deadbolts. Having been through the house many times, she knew where she was going through the dark. She knew that Ryota had left a gun in his son?s room, and she dragged Aki up the stairs and into the room, allowing a shriek to escape her as the door below them shattered. She threw the door to the room shut and locked it. Pounding footsteps sounded at the foot of the stairs, then slowed. There was no place to run, and that thing knew it.
Sayuri hugged Aki into her, waiting for the end, all thoughts of the gun had fled. Then, there were footsteps behind her. Sayuri turned as the door to the bathroom opened. A man stood there, a towel around his neck. ?W-who are you?? Sayuri stammered, frightened. She clutched Aki closer to herself.
?I should be asking you that. What are you doing in my house?? The man peered closer. ?Sayuri? Aki??
?Kane!? Sayuri looked up as Aki spoke with relief. ?I thought the training would only take a year. You?ve been gone for five.?
?Yeah, well... What?s going on?? The door burst into pieces as he spoke. Sayuri screamed.