Dragon Warrior Posted July 22, 2003 Share Posted July 22, 2003 This is a short horror story I just typed up for the hell of it in an AIM chat with Nataniamon. I thought it up as I went so it's probably not that great, but Nataniamon told me I should put it on here so, here... (Not for the weak bladdered XD) Darwen crept up the stairs, every step there came a creak. Moaning emerged from underneath the boards. Darwen gulped, played with his jacket and moved on up the stairs. At the top, he found a long hallway with no doors or pictures or anything on the walls. Just, at the end of the hallway was a window. There at the window was someone rocking in a chair, back and forth, making a sound unspeakable. Darwen started down the hallway towards the person. Even if it was dark, it seemed as if the walls were bleeding, giving him a chill. He came to about 10 feet away from the person in the chair when he realized it was blood dripping from the walls. He then looked up from his blood-soaked shoes and peered at the person. It was obviously a woman. She hummed intently, doing nothing, but stare out the window. "Excuse me," Darwen began. "One shall not disturb the rested," said the woman and went back to her humming. Darwen gulped again and tapped her shoulder and repeated himself. "Excuse me." The woman did not turn and once again said "One shall not disturb the rested." Darwen was getting annoyed and wished to leave this house. He had been lost in it's neverending hallways. Doing something frantic, he shouted "I need help!" as he turned the woman in the chair around to face him. Nothing was there, but a bloody skeleton with thousands of spiders swarming through the flesh that was left. Darwen gasped and fell back onto the bloody floor. The walls seemed to move and bleed more than last time. Darwen looked up at the skeleton whom seemed to say "One shall not disturb the rested unless that one wishes to rest themselves" as the spiders devoured Darwen alive. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shippo Posted July 22, 2003 Share Posted July 22, 2003 [color=darkblue] OooooOooo :eek: creepy. Thie thing that made it MORE creepier is the way you describe the stuff. Its REALLY good for thinking it up while u were going. Nice job ;) [/color] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dragon Warrior Posted July 22, 2003 Author Share Posted July 22, 2003 Heh. Thanks. Make all little kids leave the room, turn off the light, be alone, and read it. It has more of an effect XD NOT FOR THE ARACHNAPHOBICS! ^^ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OtakuSennen Posted July 22, 2003 Share Posted July 22, 2003 Wow, that's really good.. As Shippo said, descriptions made it even better. It's a little short.. Maybe introducing how Darwen got in that place could have given it an even creepier feel... I say 8/10. Good, but short. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dragon Warrior Posted July 22, 2003 Author Share Posted July 22, 2003 Okay, I rewrote it. Well, actually, I just added a beginning to it. So here we go... the completed version... [b]Bleeding Walls[/b] A crack was heard and a wheel tumbled to the side of the rocky road near a bush and tree. The whole cat collapsed, splinters flying everywhere. The horse raced off into the night leaving Darwen alone with his broken cart. The lamp that he lit had been dropped and smashed on the path so the only light left was the eerie moonlit sky. He picked himself back up, not bothering with luggage or anything else, but himself, he began walking down the road to find some shelter and assistance. The wind let out a shrill through the branches of the trees. They reached out to him, their twigs like fingers ready to reach through his chest and remove his heart, still beating his blood that would cascade out onto the rocks of the road. He pulled his jacket tighter as the night grew chillier. The path seemed to go on forever when he suddenly saw a dog. It?s head was facing the ground, sniffing intently. It lifted only enough to bare it?s crimson eyes. It?s pupils were red as of blood and it?s teeth seemed to be covered with a liquid. Darwen at first thought it was drool because it may be rabid, but when he slowly advanced on it, he noticed it was blood. The dog let out a low growl as Darwen gradually got closer to it. As he grew toward it, he could make out what the dog was sniffing. It was road kill of some kind; the flesh peeled over revealing it?s innards and blood gushed across the area where it lay slain. But this was no ordinary road kill. Darwen jumped back when he noticed what it was. A human head. The expression was pure petrified. The expression the being must have had when the dog ripped their body from bone to bone, leaving them a gory pulp upon the road. The dog started off at a quick pace. Darwen had the sudden urge to follow. The reason, he did not know. He was glad he did. For when he finally saw the dog stop, they were at the gates of a large mansion. It?s highest tower was clearly in the clouds. He wished for shelter and approached the gates the dog so easily leapt through. It was strange since the bars weren?t apart enough for it to fit all the way. It puzzled Darwen, but he proceeded through anyways. The doors opened with a creak that seemed like a thousand corpses moaning. Once he was in, the door slammed shut with the same chilling noise. Not paying any mind to the door, Darwen began peering around the main room. A large chandelier hung from the ceiling. This drew attention to the magnificent paintings on the ceiling of angels and beautiful wonders. Life?s greatest work. As Darwen looked upward at the marvelous artwork, a drop of red fell on his face. He examined it by wiping it on his finger and looking at it closely. ?Must be paint,? he reassured himself and entered the next room through a set out doors just as more blood from the ceiling stained the carpet below. The next room was even more horrific than the last. Statues of warriors with great weapons at hand, slaying monsters and fighting each other. Some were paintings of men dueling over a woman. Other paintings weren?t as pleasant where they showed the man having his head chopped off with great detail. Darwen looked closely at these ones. They were as if they actually were bleeding. Darwen walked on, not aware of the blood dripping from the paintings onto his jacket. The doors shut behind him again, this time his reaction was slamming on them. They were locked. He did not like this and when he turned, he saw a hand print pushing out of the wall, reaching out to him. He heard a voice calling out with it, then a face in the wall saying, ?Help me! Heeeelpp meee!? Darwen started back and laid against the opposite wall where more hands from the wall grabbed him and held him here saying the same thing. He jumped back out of their grasp and looked all around the room. Sad faces appeared from ceiling to wall all asking for help in the most grueling manner. Their moans sent chills down Darwen like the hand of death grasping his spine. He rushed through the next set of doors and stopped short at what he saw. He spotted the dog at the landing of a staircase. It was panting as if it just came from a great run. It let out a bark up the stairs as if to warn someone, then turned back to Darwen. It barked again. Darwen turned to see if it was barking at him or someone behind him and when he turned back around, the dog was gone. Just white smoke drifted through the spot where it was once. Still freaked out, he started up the stairs. On the next landing, the dog was there again, the same uncanny smoke drifting around it. Darwen gave it a look and it?s face suddenly started to melt. It?s skin decayed and fell to the floor right off it?s bones. Darwen let out a scream and fell backwards down the steps. He tumbled to the floor below and saw the dog looking at him. It barked again, worms going in and out of it?s bare eye sockets. It?s stench was unbearable and Darwen got up quickly to make a run for it, but noticed the room was different. He turned around the dog was gone. He slowly crept back up the stairs, afraid of what he might find. The dog was no where to be found, but he heard low howls in the distance. He got to the next landing again and looked down at the floor below. The dog sat there panting away, it?s tongue partially coming off. It then spoke the words, ?Be ware of the upstairs.? With that, the dog suddenly collapsed to the ground and blood and flesh splashed everywhere on the floor. Darwen backed up to the wall, but remembering what happened last time, stood his distance from everywhere. He ran up the stairs faster now, leaving the dog?s corpse to rest in peace. Darwen crept up the stairs, every step there came a creak. Moaning emerged from underneath the boards. Darwen gulped, played with his jacket and moved on up the stairs. At the top, he found a long hallway with no doors or pictures or anything on the walls. Just, at the end of the hallway was a window. There at the window was someone rocking in a chair, back and forth, making a sound unspeakable. Darwen started down the hallway towards the person. Even if it was dark, it seemed as if the walls were bleeding, giving him a chill. He came to about 10 feet away from the person in the chair when he realized it was blood dripping from the walls. He then looked up from his blood-soaked shoes and peered at the person. It was obviously a woman. She hummed intently, doing nothing, but stare out the window. "Excuse me," Darwen began. "One shall not disturb the rested," said the woman and went back to her humming. Darwen gulped again and tapped her shoulder and repeated himself. "Excuse me." The woman did not turn and once again said "One shall not disturb the rested." Darwen was getting annoyed and wished to leave this house. He had been lost in it's neverending hallways. Doing something frantic, he shouted "I need help!" as he turned the woman in the chair around to face him. Nothing was there, but a bloody skeleton with thousands of spiders swarming through the flesh that was left. Darwen gasped and fell back onto the bloody floor. The walls seemed to move and bleed more than last time. Darwen looked up at the skeleton whom seemed to say "One shall not disturb the rested unless that one wishes to rest themselves" as the spiders devoured Darwen alive. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GinnyLyn Posted July 22, 2003 Share Posted July 22, 2003 The second version is much better. O my gosh...officially creeped out now. O_O; Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dragon Warrior Posted July 22, 2003 Author Share Posted July 22, 2003 MUHAHAHAAHAH! I love writing this shiz! I never knew horror stories were so much fun. I've gotta try it more often. Still doesn't beat comedy. Not by a long shot. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Corey Posted July 22, 2003 Share Posted July 22, 2003 Pretty damn good, other than the comment I made in AIM. Keep writing for sure. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dragon Warrior Posted July 22, 2003 Author Share Posted July 22, 2003 Heh. Yes. I recall what you said and you're quite right. I'm not disappointed in hearing it neither because I know it's true. But also, like I said, this is nothing compared to what I could really do if I took time in it ^^ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OtakuSennen Posted July 23, 2003 Share Posted July 23, 2003 o_O WOW.. It's even scarier now that it's longer.. Will I be able to sleep tonight? I think not. ^_^ I love reading your work, Dragon Warrior. You have great writing abilities. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dragon Warrior Posted July 23, 2003 Author Share Posted July 23, 2003 Thanks. I'll make sure to post more of my stories. Just watch for my threads. You know you wanna XD Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tasrai Posted July 23, 2003 Share Posted July 23, 2003 [COLOR=blue][SIZE=1][B]Wow! That was great...it is better longer and with a beginning. However, it seemed that you mentioned blood a little two much in the middle of it somewhere, I think you said it three times in two sentences. But who am I to criticize? I think the dog added a nice effect, I most certainly will think twice before following dogs into mansions...[/COLOR][/SIZE][/B] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dragon Warrior Posted July 23, 2003 Author Share Posted July 23, 2003 Actually, what I implied in the dog is he was a good guy. When he barked up the stairs and back at Darwen, he was warning him not to go up. Then, when he began to melt and decay, it was that woman upstairs killing it because it was giving away her secret. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nate Posted July 24, 2003 Share Posted July 24, 2003 I thoguth that's what it was doing..that IS AWESOME Both yours and KnightoftheRose is great. But..i know i can sleep tonight..i've watched Ghost Ship then went straight to sleep......don't phaze me no mo' Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dragon Warrior Posted July 24, 2003 Author Share Posted July 24, 2003 Haha. Yeah, I hear Ghost Ship's pretty freaky. Well, sweet dreams for you, Sir Shinobi XD Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nate Posted July 25, 2003 Share Posted July 25, 2003 Oh was it.....[spoiker] in the opening scene it shows the ship..with peopel on it..it was a cruise. They were dancing, and a rope snaped, the metal ropes? It went through everybody except the little girl. Nobody moved for a second, then one moved and he fell down in 2 peices where he got cut. Then everybody falls down in peices, and the caption's head is cut in half at the mouth. She's theo nly one who isn't kileld, but she dies on the boat eventually[/spoiler] very scary movie...and i slept very well last night..thank you Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dragon Warrior Posted July 25, 2003 Author Share Posted July 25, 2003 Nice spoiler. Everyone could see ;) Hehe... But yeah, sounds creepy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kitty Posted July 29, 2003 Share Posted July 29, 2003 Dude! Your writing creeped me out the first time! But I'd give it a 7 outta 10. Your story completed was truly horrific. I'd give it a 9/10. The only reason I'm not giving you a 10 outta 10, is cause my cousin tells so many freaky stories, that yours almost fails in comparison. But it is a very good spooky story. ~A freaky fiction fan~ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dragon Warrior Posted July 29, 2003 Author Share Posted July 29, 2003 Heh. Thanks, milady ^_^ AIM convos are sometimes the best places to do stories, I suppose. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mist Posted July 29, 2003 Share Posted July 29, 2003 [color=crimson][size=1]Whoa...that's really creepy. You're good.[/color][/size] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dragon Warrior Posted July 29, 2003 Author Share Posted July 29, 2003 Meh. Thanks, milady Mist. I hate horror, but I guess I can write some :< Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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