darkside Posted July 25, 2003 Share Posted July 25, 2003 why is osama bin dumpshit (laden) afraid to have sex with his wifes? when he opeans thier legs he sees bush. *no offense to president bush. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dragon Warrior Posted July 25, 2003 Share Posted July 25, 2003 Heh. That was pretty cheesy, but okay ^_^ [SIZE=4][b]OH MY GOSHUMS! I ARE HAVE THE ULTIMATE JOKE! YOU MUST HEAR IT OR DIE! YESH YESH YESH!!!! SPAMMINGNESS :<[/b][/SIZE] Why did the duck cross the road? Give up? [spoiler]BECAUSE THE CHICKEN WAS ON VACATION! HAHAHAHAHAAHA![/spoiler] :):):):) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Randleman Posted July 25, 2003 Share Posted July 25, 2003 [img]http://www.johnami.com/~fateomcskippy/images/spam.jpg[/img] no more spam please. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
darkside Posted July 25, 2003 Author Share Posted July 25, 2003 that's spam? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dragon Warrior Posted July 25, 2003 Share Posted July 25, 2003 Not really. What you just posted is XD And what Randleman did is sort of... but I don't wanna play mod here... so I'll just walk away slowly with this money I stole from the National Bank and carefully get in my getaway vehicle and drive to the airport where I will get on a plane and fly to South Africa where I will teach the natives to read and play Monopoly in the most slyest ways. And now a joke ^_^ There was a blond, a brunette, and a red head and then there was their father. One night they wanted to go to a party, but their father said no and sent them to their rooms. They still snuck out of their windows and were almost home free when their father walked out of the house. They quickly ran into the barn and jumped in some potato sacks. Oh my. Their father walked into the barn and saw the three sacks moving. He came up to the first one with the brunette in it and kicked it. She said "Meow." "Oh, it's only a cat," said their father. He kicked the next one that had the red head in it. She said "Woof." "Oh, it's only a dog," said their father whom proceeded to the last sack with the blond in it. He kicked and the blond said "Potatoes!" ------------ Haha. Oh yeah... I went there... no offense to blonds. I'm a blond myself... in more ways than one :< Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
darkside Posted July 25, 2003 Author Share Posted July 25, 2003 a blind man walks into a wemen's bar he orders a beer and after a while he goes DO YOU GUY WANT TO HEAR A BLONDE JOKE? the woman sitting next to him sez the woman at the bar is a blonde.The manager is a blonde.I am a blonde and 6'1".The woman to your right is a blonde and 300 ibs. and a blackbelt in karate.and the woman behind you is a pro wresler!then he tells the joke and it doesn't turn out too preety.>o< Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Squall Posted July 25, 2003 Share Posted July 25, 2003 Ok, here's a blonde joke: PS if any blondes are reading this, It's the OTHER shade of blonde. There are two blondes. One is riding a tractor through a cornfeild, and the other is in a boat. The blonde in a tractor sees the blonde in a boat and pulls over. "WHAT THE HECK IS WRONG WITH YOU? IT'S BLONDES LIKE YOU THAT GIVE US A BAD NAME! WHY, IF I COULD SWIM, I'D COME OUT THERE AND KICK YOUR @#$%" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Semjaza Posted July 25, 2003 Share Posted July 25, 2003 I am not going to bother closing this, as I'm sure someone else will if they feel it's a problem... but do we really need posts by people about what is spam and what isn't in every other thread here? I've seen this several times in the past few days. Hello? The anti-spam posts are just as spammy as the rest of it, especially considering they have nothing to do with the topic at hand at all. It doesn't help. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Crimson Spider Posted July 25, 2003 Share Posted July 25, 2003 That is why I try to have more than one thing in my "Anti-Spam" posts. Like this joke. O.K. There is a little guy sitting at a bar, having a drink. Then a big guy walks into the bar with several of his friends. He says to his friends "Watch this" and Karate-chops the little guy off of his chair. Then he says "That was Karate, from Japan!". So the little guy gets back in his chair and begins drinking again. After a little while, the big guy, again gets up, and elbows the little guy in the back of the head. "That was Juditzo from Korea!" he said going back to his group of friends. The little guy, who is now ticked off, gets back into his seat and try's not to do anything to fuel an already on-going commotion. After a little while longer, the big guy walks behind him again, and punches him in the back of the head saying "This is Ty qwan do... from China!". So the little guy gets seriously mad, and walks out of the bar dazed from being hit hard so many times. So the big guy takes the little guy's seat and orders a drink. After about half an hour, the little guy comes back into the bar holding a hammer. He smashes the big guy in the head, then says "That is a Ball-peen hammer from Sears and Robuck." See? Nothing insulting, or dirty. Clean, fun joke. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Baron Samedi Posted July 25, 2003 Share Posted July 25, 2003 Divorce A married couple is driving along a highway doing a steady forty miles per hour. The wife is behind the wheel. Her husband suddenly looks across at her and speaks in a clear voice. Darling," he says. "I know we've been married for twenty years, but I want a divorce." The wife says nothing, keeps looking at the road ahead but slowly increases her speed to 45 mph. The husband speaks again. "I don't want you to try and talk me out of it," he says, "because I've been having an affair with your best friend, and she's a far better lover than you are." Again the wife stays quiet, but grips the steering wheel more tightly and slowly increases the speed to 55. He pushes his luck. "I want the house," he says insistently Up to 60. I want the car, too," he continues. 65 mph. And," he says, "I'll have the bank accounts, all the credit cards and the boat." The car slowly starts veering towards a massive concrete bridge. This makes him a wee bit nervous, so he asks her: "Isn't there anything you want?" The wife at last replies - in a quiet and controlled voice. "No, I've got everything I need." she says. Oh, really?" he enquires, "so what have you got?" Just before they slam into the wall at 65 mph, the wife turns to him and smiles. "The airbag." That is funny. i think. and you all better appreciate it, coz it took me ages to delete all the forward arrows on it...so be warned! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marik_Duelist Posted July 25, 2003 Share Posted July 25, 2003 3 jokes what has a white face red nose and is born in a test tube? bozo the clone whats red green and flat as a pancake? a dead frog on the road whats red green and brown and as flat as a pancake? the same frog 2 weeks later Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guess? Posted July 25, 2003 Share Posted July 25, 2003 Whats worst then being bitten by Dracula? Being fingered by Captain Hook! Heres another: Two blonds walk into a bar, you would think one of them would've seen it. Two really stupid but funny jokes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Crimson Spider Posted July 25, 2003 Share Posted July 25, 2003 O.K. Two friends die and go to heaven. When Paul meets them up there, he says "Now, in heaven, there is one rule: Don't step on a duck." The two friends are like "Uh... O.K..." Then when he opens the gate, ducks are everywhere! So about a week later, the first friend steps on duck. Then Paul comes over and chains him to a really ugly girl. He says "Well, since you stepped on a duck, you have to live with her now." Then the second friend, seeing this, was more careful. He went months without stepping on a duck. Eventually, Paul comes up and chains a really beautiful girl to him. He says "Now, you get to live with him." Then the second friend says: "What? What did I do?" Then the girl turns around and says "I don't know about you, but I stepped on a duck." Now here's a shorter one. What do you call a frog that was hit by a car? [spoiler] Road Toad Alamode[/spoiler] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hiei Jagashi Posted July 25, 2003 Share Posted July 25, 2003 What did the pink panter say when he stepped on an ant. deadant(do that to the pink panter toon. What did the cowboy say when his dog walked off a cliff. doggone Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guess? Posted July 25, 2003 Share Posted July 25, 2003 I got another one. Its kinda long though... These three men die and go to heaven. They start to talk about how they died and the first one says "I was with this chick and we were in her apartment the her boyfriend busts in and starts screamming. I run to the balcony and start to climb to the roof. As I start to climb up the guy comes onto the balcony with a baseball bat and starts to hit my legs. I climb out of his reach and start to get to the roof. As i get to the roof someone starts to hit me in the hands with a hammer. i fall to the ground below but a bush broke my fall. As i looked up a refridgerator falls on me..." The second guy starts to tell how he died "I came home early from work and caught my girlfriend with another guy so i chased him to the balcony and started to hit him with a base ball bat. He kept climbing so i went to the roof and saw his hand on the edge so i hit them with a hammer.He fell but a bunch of bushes broke his fall. So I pushed a refridgerator on him. I couldn't live with what i just did so i jumped to my death." The first one gets really mad at the guy who killed him and starts to yell. The first two start to argue and then the third one breaks it upand then tells them how he died "Imagine this, being in a fridge naked..." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zephyr Posted July 26, 2003 Share Posted July 26, 2003 All of Saddam's doubles are brought into a meeting and told that there is good news and bad news. The good news is that Saddam is still alive. The bad news is he lost a leg. :devil: (here is an old one, but a classic) A preist, a rabbi, and a bishop are out fishing one day. A half-hour into the trip the preist says he has to answer the call of nature. So he stands up, steps out of the boat and walks across the water. He eventually returns and a short while later the rabbi stands up and walks across the water. Not long after that the bishop finally stands up and says he has to go. He takes one step out of the boat and sinks like a rock. The preist looks down and says: "You think we should have told that sorry S.O.B. about the rocks?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kaola Su Posted July 26, 2003 Share Posted July 26, 2003 Oh man, I have one that has always made me laugh anytime I heard it. What do Michael Jackson and K-Mart have in common? [spoiler]Little boy's underwear half off![/spoiler] OH man! *wipes tear from eye* Sorry guys, I just thought that was always too good! What do Monica Lewinske and a coke machine have in common? [spoiler]Insert Bill here:[/spoiler] HAHA another one of my faves! Also the Osama and Bush one that was told 1st was another of my faves! Love, Kaola Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zen Posted July 26, 2003 Share Posted July 26, 2003 heres a blonde joke. What has more crabs? A blonde or the Pacific Coast? Nobody knows. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
silpheedpilot Posted July 26, 2003 Share Posted July 26, 2003 Alright...I got one! It MAY take some of you awhile to figure it out.. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- A little boy is standing outside with his grandpa. He looks to his left and sees a worm, next to the worm is a hole. The kid turns to his grandpa and says: "I bet you 20$ I can get that worm back in that hole" The Grandpa replies with a smirk. "You cant put that worm back in that hole! You're on!" The kid runs inside and emerges with a can of hairspray. He sprays the Worm and sure enough the worm goes back into the hole. He Grandpa is astonished, but he forks over 20$ He grabs the hairspray and runs inside. A few moments later he emerges with another 20$ and hands it to the kid. The kid looks at his Grandpa confused. "But Grandpa, you already paid me" The Grandpa smiles and says: "I know. Thats from your Grandma!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sara Posted July 26, 2003 Share Posted July 26, 2003 [size=1]Ergh. These threads tend to degenerate pretty quickly, and I'm just going to close this now. If anyone is taken with the unstoppable urge to make a Jokes thread in the future, bear in mind that we do have younger kids who frequent this place. Keep it clean. We don't want them corrupted before their time. That's all I ask.[/size] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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