Guest Taylor Hewitt Posted July 30, 2003 Share Posted July 30, 2003 I wrote this in the absense of a loved one. It's my first but I hope it's ok. --- Love is something you only find when you need it most It's like you've found what you need and you are all set for life Sometimes you get hurt but you can grow from it You can grow with your partner When you part it hurts very much But the thought of another meeting keeps you alive Without love there is no life And without life, there is no love I love you With all my heart -Taylor Hewitt Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest dayday Posted July 30, 2003 Share Posted July 30, 2003 *stares* That was a beautiful poem Taylor. I loved it very much. I hope the person you wrote it for sees that too. I bet they even cried when they read it. Because if they didn't they must be really stupid. And I guess that means I am stupid too. I always knew I was. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dd protector Posted July 31, 2003 Share Posted July 31, 2003 Wow. Its simple but touching. I agree with dayday, I hope whomever you wrote this for sees it in the same light. Write more poems. ^^ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Taylor Hewitt Posted July 31, 2003 Share Posted July 31, 2003 Wow. People actually like it. *cries* I think I might write more. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raiha Posted July 31, 2003 Share Posted July 31, 2003 [color=royalblue]You know...although I have no right to tell you to grow the hell up....I probably will in the long run. Lovelorn ditties like this grow rather repetitive. Particularly when the author has made a fool of himself elsewhere.[/color] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Taylor Hewitt Posted July 31, 2003 Share Posted July 31, 2003 You know I have the right to tell you to shut the hell up. Shut the hell up already. You are not helping my situation and I apologise if I am coming off rude but in all my time here I have never seen one post of yours that contained any emotion whatsoever. It's like you don't have feelings or something. You didn't even comment about the poem. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest dayday Posted July 31, 2003 Share Posted July 31, 2003 You know he's right Rahai, you didn't. And I know who he wrote the poem for so you can just shut the hell up. She almost loves him but it's not that serious. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Taylor Hewitt Posted July 31, 2003 Share Posted July 31, 2003 ... Thank you dayday. I might considering writing poetry. But what do you honestly think of it? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest dayday Posted July 31, 2003 Share Posted July 31, 2003 Well, that one was very good. If you keep writing like that I bet other people will like them too. Just don't be so open about personal feelings. People tend to snoop. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kesaki_Inedia Posted July 31, 2003 Share Posted July 31, 2003 I like it!!!! *wipes a tear* Sorry cutting onions. lol, just kidding. Love the poem. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Taylor Hewitt Posted July 31, 2003 Share Posted July 31, 2003 Wow. I didn't know I was so good at this sort of thing. It's my first but thank you I'm motivated now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
XeEmO Posted July 31, 2003 Share Posted July 31, 2003 [QUOTE][i]Originally posted by Taylor Hewitt [/i] [B]It's like you don't have feelings or something. You didn't even comment about the poem. [/B][/QUOTE] Actually most people don't complain about how there feeling on forums. It's not like you're the only one with a problem. In fact, I'm sure a lot of people, maybe even on this forum, have it much worse than you do(even if they don't post about it). I don't see anything wrong with the poem. Especially since you're only 13, and you don't write poetry often. It could use a lot of improvement though (there?s always room from improvement), so keep at it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Taylor Hewitt Posted August 1, 2003 Share Posted August 1, 2003 I don't think it's that bad. Give me an example how it's bad. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
XeEmO Posted August 2, 2003 Share Posted August 2, 2003 [QUOTE][i]Originally posted by Taylor Hewitt [/i] [B]I don't think it's that bad. Give me an example how it's bad. [/B][/QUOTE] I assume you're talking to me. I never said it was bad, I just stated that it wasn't perfect. I said everything can use improvement. If you keep working on more poems, they will eventually get much better. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Taylor Hewitt Posted August 2, 2003 Share Posted August 2, 2003 Ok. By the way please change your avatar i think it makes me think ur bad that guy from clockwork orange is freaky ur a little young to see that movie (dont say im younger i know i am but i am screwed up ^^) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brasil Posted August 4, 2003 Share Posted August 4, 2003 [QUOTE][i]Originally posted by Taylor Hewitt [/i] [B]Ok. By the way please change your avatar i think it makes me think ur bad that guy from clockwork orange is freaky ur a little young to see that movie (dont say im younger i know i am but i am screwed up ^^) [/B][/QUOTE] Taylor, shut up. I do wish you'd shut your mouth. Your posts are off-topic in your own damn thread. NEVER criticize others for a small blurb of off-topic in an otherwise on-topic post. You are quickly becoming the most hated poster on here. I really don't see what CLOCKWORK ORANGE has to do with this thread. I don't think anyone cares what you think, either. If Xeemo loves the movie and uses it as his avatar, and is pleased with the avatar, you have no grounds to request that he change it. You need to shut your mouth. Stop the drivel. And TO BE ON-TOPIC, your poems need lots of work. Work on the grammar. Work on your syntax. Your line construction is atrocious. The poem doesn't even have a semblance of flow. I swear you just chopped up a paragraph into randomly lengthed lines. And the subject matter is unbelievably trite. Writing poems like this does not make a writer better. Writing poems like this just roots the writer in bad habit and bad form. I'd highly recommend you crack open some Shel Silverstein. That's entertaining poetry and rhyme. Your stuff is just blah. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Patronus Posted August 4, 2003 Share Posted August 4, 2003 [size=1][color=70000][b]See, what did I tell you on AIM? Think I was lying? [i]Anyways[/i], it was a horrible poem. You need to actually make sense when you write. -Leh[/b][/color][/size] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Taylor Hewitt Posted August 4, 2003 Share Posted August 4, 2003 Whatever I don't respect any of you or your opinions so peach off ok. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Patronus Posted August 4, 2003 Share Posted August 4, 2003 [size=1][color=700000][b]Now whose flaming? I'm going to stop with your pitiful "poems" because they're hardly worth reading. And we can post here if we want...because you post, we critisize. Leh[/b][/color][/size] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brasil Posted August 4, 2003 Share Posted August 4, 2003 [QUOTE][i]Originally posted by Taylor Hewitt [/i] [B]Whatever I don't respect any of you or your opinions so peach off ok. [/B][/QUOTE] Oh, man...we're scared. Like Logan said, you post, we reply. Simple as that. If you don't want to hear us, then don't post. You have the power to remedy this situation. Also, do you enjoy having your head up your ***? Why do you do it? Is it for the warmth? Is it comfortable? "peach off"? That's the best you could think up? Oh dear god...you really aren't a writer...nor cut out to be one as evidenced by your behavior. Because, you know, if you don't radically improve your writing, you're going to hear the same, if not harsher, crit later. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Taylor Hewitt Posted August 4, 2003 Share Posted August 4, 2003 I said peach off to avoid swearing. If i said **** off then I would get in trouble. You make me want to... edited so I don't get in trouble. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sui Generis Posted August 4, 2003 Share Posted August 4, 2003 ON TOPIC: As I've said many times to many other people, I'm not one for free verse poetry most of the time so thats an automatic -10...:p.........Nah but its good. I mean you're only 13 don't get down because you arn't writing perfect poetry....You have plenty room to grow as a writer as does everyone else here including myself. (Been so long since I've been here) OFF TOPIC: He has a right to put his feelings into his posts. If you don't wanna deal with them then don't talk to him, don't bother him, just ignore him for all I care. Don't make a big deal about it. If the moderators see a problem with it then THEY'LL address the issue. If it indeed is an issue. Frankly I think its retarded that you are bashing this kid because he trusts a place enough to reveal his feelings. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brasil Posted August 4, 2003 Share Posted August 4, 2003 [QUOTE][i]Originally posted by Lalaith Ril [/i] [B]ON TOPIC: As I've said many times to many other people, I'm not one for free verse poetry most of the time so thats an automatic -10...:p.........Nah but its good. I mean you're only 13 don't get down because you arn't writing perfect poetry....You have plenty room to grow as a writer as does everyone else here including myself. (Been so long since I've been here) OFF TOPIC: He has a right to put his feelings into his posts. If you don't wanna deal with them then don't talk to him, don't bother him, just ignore him for all I care. Don't make a big deal about it. If the moderators see a problem with it then THEY'LL address the issue. If it indeed is an issue. Frankly I think its retarded that you are bashing this kid because he trusts a place enough to reveal his feelings. [/B][/QUOTE] You see, the problem I have with his writing, (apart from it being horribly melodramatic) is that it is inferior and he refuses to take into account a more experienced writer's POV. He only accepts the positive critiques and gets offended when a negative critique is posted. 2nd point. I have no problem with one thread revealing his feelings or asking for advice. When one post turns into 3 and 2 separate poetry threads devoted to the same damn issue, that annoys people. Also, when he again disregards advice that tells him the opposite of what he wants to hear, that also annoys people. And you know, sure, I can just decide to not post, but I also can decide to post. He complains about how we post in his threads with negative crit and advice he doesn't want to hear, but yet he keeps posting. He has the power to remedy this situation. He needs to make a conscious effort to change his behavior. Until that time, if he continues to post with inane and senseless comments, I will continue to exercise my right to reply, just as you exercised your right to reply here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
James Posted August 4, 2003 Share Posted August 4, 2003 [color=#707875]... Taylor, do [i]not[/i] tell people to "shut the hell up". You were incredibly rude to Raiha. I don't want to see that happening again. Secondly, I'm starting to wonder why I defended you in Otaku Lounge. This thread demonstrates that you've got a short fuse with some people. You complained to me about PoisonTongue, yet you are the one who fuelled the fire here. Don't do it. PT...you've got to remember that many members who write these poems are kids. Try to be a bit more leniant and constructive. If a poem is terrible, it's probably better not to say that...it's better to say how it could be improved. I don't think you're entirely at fault, but some diplomacy wouldn't go astray. And Logan. I don't want to see you being so rude ever again. You don't just post and say something simple like "That poem is horrible". It's a nasty thing to do and [i]I[/i] consider it to be spam. You should not attack others for spamming when you yourself aren't entirely in the clear. Please bear that in mind. Phew. Okay. Now, this thread can continue if you guys can be civil. If not, I won't hesitate to take action.[/color] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys_revenge Posted August 4, 2003 Share Posted August 4, 2003 ON TOPIC:Awsome job Taylor! I couldn't do a poem like that if my life depended on it! Probably the only thing I could write is the Roses Are Red poem. Lol. Once again, great job on the poem. 10/10:D OFF TOPIC: You really summed that situation up, James.:) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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