Writing A Beautiful Blonde - Bi-planes? Dragons??

[Snoozer]

Here's a few pages of our script for the Webcomic Alpha shade. It is writen in a stlye that is easy for the reader to read. It's in a flexable format because Our script is over 300 pages long. At that length you can't box yourself into page 30 pane 2 bob looks at box. If you do there isn't any room to modify your story boards as you work on them. Very quickly you'd have to rescript.

This page 1/2 ended up being 12 pages drawn out in the comic. At the bottom I'll post page 12.

CB
[url]http://www.alpha-shade.com[/url]

Alpha Shade Copyright 2003 Brudlos


Alpha Shade Chapter One : Fade to black?


Laura stands in front of a large desk in a darkened room. She looks at herself in a long mirror for a moment, and then buttons up the last few buttons on her uniform. She reaches for a long stem glass at her side and takes a sip, then closes her eyes. Lowering her head, she looks down at a small watch on the desktop. Taking it carefully in her hand, she gently rubs it with her thumb. Her lips quiver for a moment as she puts it on.

Gray leaps onto the corner of the desk. The cat sits up, staring into her eyes. Laura turns towards him and gives him a small smile. ? Any second now??

Boom! Boom! Boom! The assault guns outside begin firing. Her tent shakes creating ripples in her water glass. Gray?s ears flatten for a second, as he gets used to the noise. Laura turns to the side of the tent and pulls the large curtain open. Gray jumps up on her shoulder as they look out at the city together.

Laura?s Tent is at the top of a large slope, over looking a dusty brown city in the distance. The hill has been dug out to form three terraces. The hillside is a patchwork of tents, sand bags, and roads. On the second tear, six large assault guns dug into fixed positions blaze away. On the lowest level a mixed bag of various caliber cannons join in the bombardment.

Laura steps out onto her small deck and into the bright desert like sun. She shields her eyes as she scans the city in the distance. Puffs of black smoke begin to appear at the edge of town. Suddenly four-biplane fighters scream into view, followed by a smaller scout plane and two ground attack fighters with long sleek cannons under the wings. The freshly painted insignia of Laura?s House gleams in the sunlight.

The two-man scout plane banks and the spotter taps the pilot on the shoulder, pointing down towards Laura standing in the sun. She takes off her leather cap and they both wave to her as they pass by. Laura smiles and waves back. < My untested air force?> She turns and walks back into her tent. ?It?s time.? She says as she heads toward the door.

Emerging from her tent Laura is met by four of her personal bodyguards. They half bow to her and fall in behind her as she walks towards the center of the command post. A group of five men and are busy going over maps and troop readiness reports. Laura walks along side the waist high sandbag wall leading up to the working group. Gray jumps off her shoulder and walks beside her on the wall. Stopping suddenly, his ears drop flat. He looks off down a wide road the leads to a small hill on the north end of their camp. Laura and her guards continue towards the briefing area, not noticing Gray heading down the road.

The briefing area is at the center of a small circular pit ringed by sand bags, tents and four multi-barreled Anti-aircraft guns. The large table covered in maps is covered by netted tarp. At the far end two small stations are set up relaying phone and cabled reports to the officers.


The Five men are busy at the table while two women stand at attention off to one side. Laura?s Guards take up positions around the tent. Seeing her approach the Officers snap to attention.

Lt. Jaczko ? Commander. ?

Laura ?At ease. As you can hear, the pre-assault bombardment is underway and will continue for another hour?? She takes off her officer?s cap and lays it on the table.

Jaczko ?I thought 2nd Army Group wasn?t authorized to release the guns to us without a signed form from the Emperor??

Laura She gives him a half smile and glances down at the map ?My head of security is with him now. I told 2nd AG?s Artillery Commander to fulfill my request. Forms or no forms, if his guns didn?t open up at 07:00 he?d be removed??

Jaczko ? Isn?t that going too far, my Lady??

Laura ?He?s a coward? With half my bodyguards looking over his shoulder, he?ll do as I say. We?ve already lost one day because of 2nd Army Group?s BS stall tactics.?

Jaczko ?Speaking of stall tactics, our munitions supply ship was held while refueling at the Jump off point? It wasn?t released until last night.?

Laura ?What?? After the attack on our ammo staging grounds yesterday we don?t have the supplies to mount an assault this morning!?

Jaczko ?Not to worry Commander, The ship arrived early this morning by red lining their engines. I had its captain land directly on the armor staging area. The crews are loading up their own tanks as we speak. They?ll be ready on time for the attack.?

Laura ?Outstanding, Jaczko.?

Jaczko ?I had the supply ship?s Captain brought up to the CP, I thought you might want to thank her yourself.?

Laura ?Fine, bring her over.? She turns to one of her aids. ?Any reports of Flyers in the area since yesterday??

Intel ?Yes Ma?am, Six Flyers were spotting moving into the city just before sunset. They were using the cloud cover, we were unable to identify their parent unit. I suspect they're reinforcement elements of House Shapira?s Eisenadler unit. I passed the information on to the squadron commander before they took off this morning.?


Laura ?Show me the current enemy positions.? She says, leaning over the map table. ?Lieutenant. Pass me the incident report on the supply ship?Ah?? She snaps her fingers at the Intel officer.

Intel ?Evpraksi, Ma?am.? She nods at him as he digs through a pile of reports.


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