Japan Posted August 1, 2003 Share Posted August 1, 2003 Here are two poems that I wrote till 3 AM last night. The first one is a Dramitic poem about a bad day and the second is All about what Vash from Trigun feels. [I][U]"Ungrateful Day"[/U] On this ungrateful day, I walk along the path of life Where there is nothing but but sorrow and hate Can I escape this day? I run and hide away on this ungrateful day These bad experiences keep happening I lost control I am losing my mind This is driving me insane! On this ungrateful day I lost my way on this ungrateful day [U]"Vash's Poem"[/U] Dripping blood flows threw my weathered hands The death I see before my eyes torture me How can I live this fate? It is more than I can stand Why did you leave me? Without you, this world is a very sad place As I try to save innocent people, sand blows freely The sand makes it hard for people to see the truth Realistic views rave I can't stand this madness I wish that people would be full of love and peace But instead, they are corrupted by sin They're souls are stained with hate Instead of pure souls But what can I say, I am just as brutul opposing him [/I] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OtakuSennen Posted August 1, 2003 Share Posted August 1, 2003 Wow!! Those are great, 86! They're very well written. I like the first one more, but if I watched Trigun I'd probably understand the second one more, thus elevating its level of favoriteness! You used very vivid words which made them really great! [b]9.3[/b] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tog Posted August 1, 2003 Share Posted August 1, 2003 Ooh, very nice! I like the second one a lot. But I'm not very good at rating things... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Japan Posted August 4, 2003 Author Share Posted August 4, 2003 Here is another poem of mine. I wrote it during my depression last year. [u][I]"No Name"[/u] As I look into the bay I feel nothing As I ponder thoughts of everyday life, I feel left behind While the world passes me by I wonder, what's going on? Erin's not the friend I thought she would be I just wish these people would see me here I wonder how I can carry on with all my might But these people don't notice me I wish I could have someone to talk to Oh dear How can this be While I try to be me people just rip my heart out the reason I'm treated this way is because of the way I am? God bless me no I hope it is not so Why is this happening to me.....I don't know [/I] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spikey Posted August 4, 2003 Share Posted August 4, 2003 [Size=1]Very nice, I think that is amazing. I love the 1st one and the secongd one is just slightly not as good as the first. But they are both very nice poems keep it up.[/size] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
boothten Posted August 4, 2003 Share Posted August 4, 2003 [color=darkblue][size=1]Wow, Japan. You're poetry is very good. I mean it! It really was touching. (Corny? yes. ><) Rating: 9.7/10[/color][/size] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
T man Posted August 6, 2003 Share Posted August 6, 2003 I give your first poem a [b]9.5[/b] and for the vash poem I give it a [b]10[/b]. For that last one I give it a [b]9.6[/b]. Of course this is just my opinion. I think they're all good poems. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Aznchick Posted August 11, 2003 Share Posted August 11, 2003 wow those sound so good! The depression one was very powerful..u write good ^^ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heavyblade Posted August 11, 2003 Share Posted August 11, 2003 I like all of them lots they are so...I...can't explain. They are really good. Keep it up. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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