Bandit Joeykuba Posted August 9, 2003 Share Posted August 9, 2003 [B]Destination[/B] People come, people go, Yet their true desitination, I do not know. Will they grip to Reality? Or release and fall into The depths of Insanity. Will they be bold and brave, Searching for adventure,' And someone special to save? Or will they hide, Behind someone, all of the time, And in their cowardice, abide? Maybe that one will be a leader, But I could be wrong... Maybe I'm to deep of a reader. One day, I'll see their destiny, To see if I'm right or mot, Prehaps I'll note the irony. People come, people go, Yet their true destination, Nobody knows. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FartMaster745 Posted August 9, 2003 Share Posted August 9, 2003 [size=1][color=#0099cc]Good poem. I like it. Now its stuck in my head for some strange reason ^_^[/size][/color] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cid highoffwind Posted August 9, 2003 Share Posted August 9, 2003 schweet. me & mom like it. i'm gonna try and put it like a song that way i'll remember it better Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fyxe Posted August 9, 2003 Share Posted August 9, 2003 I really like that poem. Hehehe, all my poems suck. I would like to read another one of your poems if you make another. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bandit Joeykuba Posted August 12, 2003 Author Share Posted August 12, 2003 I changed the title of this here thread so I could put more poetry up. This one I just wrote today, in about three minutes. [B]My Reality[/B] In the dark, Blind... Where am I going? Chaos, Panic, Disorder, When will it all end? Getting shoved, No apologies, Does anyone care? Some will read this, And they might say, What is this insanity? Welcome to my reality. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mitch Posted August 15, 2003 Share Posted August 15, 2003 [size=1]First off, you ended and began this thing great. The first stanza and the last stanza are the way I like my poems...with a slight, sneaky little rhyme that makes the words grip you down and hear them. It gets sort of so-so in the middle, but you then picked it up well and used the stanza almost exactly over again. That's what I do with my poems a lot of the time. Repetition. You have to do it in moderation, though. Or else it ruins whatever holds the poem together...at least for me. But yes. You show good promise, you have a nice way with your words, and the way you did the ending and the beginning was the right way to go from what I can see.[/size] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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