Guest Taylor Hewitt Posted August 9, 2003 Share Posted August 9, 2003 Broken --- It?s broken My heart is broken Why did you break my heart? You said you love me You said you didn?t You said there is still an us I say I love you You say you don?t What is there? We?re not a couple We?re not together What are we? We are just girl and a boy A boy who loves a girl And a girl who loves no one You broke my heart And it can?t be fixed You broke my heart --- By: Taylor Hewitt Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest dayday Posted August 9, 2003 Share Posted August 9, 2003 I'm sorry to say this but that poem was the worst. I didn't like what it was about or how it was done. It has no natural feeling or rhythm to it. I don't think you understood Rahai's or my help. You must have understood what we meant. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raiha Posted August 9, 2003 Share Posted August 9, 2003 [color=royalblue]Oh good, I don't have to do the constructive criticism here. But really, I like that word. FLOWETREY! Then again, I'm sure I heard it somewhere else too.... but anyways, yeah. And another thing, it might be a good idea to make ONE thread for all your poems. Or ask a mod of comanding power to put all your threads into one whole one. i.e. Taylor's Poetry. It would be a little less frustrating for us to have to scroll up and down and up and down and nevermind...[/color] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Taylor Hewitt Posted August 9, 2003 Share Posted August 9, 2003 Sorry. I'll do that from now on. And by the way I don't care what you say dayday because the poem is about you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SadClown Posted August 9, 2003 Share Posted August 9, 2003 You should save the crazy drama for emails and PM's, not talking about it where everyone else has to read it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest dayday Posted August 9, 2003 Share Posted August 9, 2003 I know it's about me. That's why I didn't like what it was about. If you couldn't figure that out no wonder. At least it's true. That's the only good thing about it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Doukeshi Posted August 9, 2003 Share Posted August 9, 2003 *hits her hand against her head* This isn't a soap opera.. Anyway, poetically speaking, you're just churning out these lists of words and sections that have little or no structure. The emotion of this poem isn't really conveyed here, as it would be if the poem were better. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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