ars_magicae Posted August 26, 2003 Share Posted August 26, 2003 Please will someone just read and comment on these, I'll put on my others if people like mine. HEARTBREAK When the winds die down And the torment finally ceases, Then I can leave this cellar And be on my way again. I'll travel this lonely That I've been on since who-knows-when. Maybe I'll meet another wanderer And we'll share roads for a while. We'll talk of our journeys And what we've seen so far But when we break away The storm will come again. Please tell me how it is and be honest, I'm a big boy, I can take it!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DragonofDestiny Posted August 26, 2003 Share Posted August 26, 2003 It's pretty interesting; you've got a very deep theme but the words are simple. That's a good skill to have. It seems a little bit weird but I like the way it's written. Not bad, not bad at all. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Epsilon Posted August 26, 2003 Share Posted August 26, 2003 It makes sence to me. I like it, the storms and wind coming once more once another heart break is there. Or so it is to me. In my thoughts it's a good idea having used two wanderer. From the fact that they wanderer and can't really get too attached to something, cause they'll end up leaving it some times. Well written. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dark king Posted August 26, 2003 Share Posted August 26, 2003 it is good. i see talent, but practice a lot it can only get better. i mean that the poem was good. keep going. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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