Writing OtakuBoards Skateboarding Fanfic

[Japan]

Hey everyone! Japan_86 here. I wrote another fanfic. My second one in fact. There is one thing you should know. Practically all of the characters are members here at OB. They are as follows:

Charles, Chris, James, Sara, Shy-Josh, Syk3-Greg, Adam, Lady Maciadoh-Debbie, and Neoclone-7-Colin. Their actual names and characteristics are true.... Hope you enjoy!!!!!


[i]"Hi, my name is Chris. I am 21 years old. I am tall with brown hair and blue eyes. As you can see, I am a skateboarder. I got accepted to a college here in LA, so did my best friends James and Charles. We share an apartment. I am mostly into winning skateboard competions and paying attention to my girlfriend, Kayla, whom I met in a bar a couple months ago. Kayla is a beautiful Blonde with almond shaped green eyes. Both Charles and James have brown hair and brown eyes. Though Charles is more into video games and James is more into making websites. Charles and James skateboard too, though not as serious as I. Little did I know it, my life was about to change."

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"Hey Chris get of the phone! There's something you gotta see!" said Charles in an excited voice. "Come on! You can call Kayla back!"
"Alright!" said Chris, he returned to talking into the reciever. "Sorry Kayla, I have to get off the phone and see what Charles wants...but it will only be a minute...come on Kayla, I'll call you right back...I promise.. love you to, bye."
Chris hurried downstairs into the living where Charles was standing impatiently. "Look at this! A skateboarding competion this weekand. You should enter, and look at the prize you get in first place. They get $5000 dollar check and a Sponsership from Billabong."
"Sweet!" said Chris, "That would be awesome! I am going to call Kayla back and tell her the news." She wasn't as excited as Chris thought she would be.
"You're going to enter a what kind of competion? I won't stand for it. I thought that we agreed that you would take me out to dinner and a movie. Oh, and not to mention helping me shop for a new pair of shoes."
"But, I can help you with that after, or before."
"No! What am I going to do all weekand? Just sit around and be lonely?"
"You can come watch..."
"I don't want to watch some silly competion. I don't want to get sunburned."
"How about you go to the mall with your friend Sara? Go shoe shopping or something. You'll enjoy that."
"Oh fine, but I have to go. I don't want to be late for my hair appointment. See you later honey."
"bye."
Chris hung up the phone and threw it on his dresser. He plopped down on his bed and closed his eyes. Someone knocked on the door. "Who is it?" asked Chris.
"James," replied the voice on the other side of the door.
"Come in," responded Chris. Chris got up and was now sitting on the edge of his bed when James opened the door.
"Where is the cd case? I want to listen to some music while I work on my website."
"Over there in the chair in that corner." Chris pointed to the chair that he was talking about.
"Thanks!" replied James as he went out into the hall and closed the door. Chris laid back down and fell asleep.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Chris went downtown to sign up for the competion the following day after his classes. There was many people in line. It was about a half hour until Chris got to the front of it. There was a yonug woman with long beautiful red hair with green eyes. On the name tag that was pinned on her chest was the name Debbie.
"Your name please," said the woman.
"Chris"
"Age?"
"21"
"Skateboard or vert?"
"Vert please..."
"Alright, you will compete 10 AM this Saturday. Good Luck!"
"Thanks" Chris walked away with a big grin on his face.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Later that night, Chris, Charles, and James were taking turns skateboarding on the halfpipe at the skatepark five minutes from the apartment. Chris was trying to do the 900 for the competion Saturday. He kept on falling. Charles was drinking from his water bottle at the top of the ramp. James was just watching Chris fall on his back, knees head and feet.
Finally Chris took a break after wiping out trying to do the new trick for the fiftieth time in a row. "I'll never get this trick in time for the competion!"
Charles looked up from his water and said, "I hope you finally figure it out."
"Yeah," added James, "It will be pretty hard to win the competion without it."
"That's why it is important that I can be abled to do this trick . Otherwise, I can just lose this competion and forget about ever turning pro." Chris took a deep breath and drank some of the water front his bottle. Charles and James went into the halfpipe and started taking turns doing grinds and nose grabs. After an hour, Charles and James walked back to the apartment. Chris stayed behind to work on the 900 some more. He almost got it, but there was something missing. He couldn't figure out what though. It started to get dark, so he picked up his skateboard and waterbottle and walked back home.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It was now Thursday morning . Chris was getting nervous. He had less than 2 days to be abled to do the 900 trick for the competition. Kayla and his Professors weren't making it any easier. She kept on bothering Chris about not getting much attention, and Chris' professors at the college were piling up the papers that he had to write by Tuesday. Right after his classes though, Chris grabbed his skateboard and was back at the halfpipe. He wasn't any closer than he was before. He kept on wiping out. About 2 hours later, he went home. He was very sore. His back hurt and his knees were numb. When he got back, he found James and Charles playing the Nintendo 64. They were playing the racing game Mario Kart 64. James was racing Mario and Charles was racing Luigi. So far, James was winning. There was pepperoni pizza on the table in the kitchen along with a 24 can pack of Pepsi. Chris helped himself to a couple aof slices and a Pepsi out of the box. He walked out into the living room and sat in the recliner behind where James and Charles were in bean bag chairs. Chris started to eat his pizza and watched them play.
"Yes!" exclaimed James. "I won!"
"Yeah so you were just lucky," said Charles who was now pouting, "2 out of 3?"
"Sure," replied James. He looked up and saw Chris in the recliner slowly eating the pizza, and every now and then, drink from his can of soda. "Let me guess, no luck with the trick?"
"Nope," said Chris gloomily, "I keep falling and I don't know what I am doing wrong."
Maybe it is the distance you put yourself from the board," said Charles taking a break to take a bite of pizza.
"Hey," said Chris, maybe you are on to something." He ran out the door and hurried back to the skate park with his skateboard in hand. He ran up the steps of the half pipe. It was starting to get dark, but Chris didn't care. He put on his gear and slowly went to the edge. He gave out a long sigh and dropped in. Chris started to gain the speed he needed . When he was ready, he brought his torso closer to the board, and executed the trick that gave him so much trouble. He landed perfectly.
"Yeah!!" exclaimed Chris, "WooHoo!!!!! I did it! Chris jumped off his skateboard and jumped up in the air in triumph."I am so going to win this competion."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Saturday morning finally came. Chris was very confident, but still very nervous. Three voices could be heard over the loud speaker. "Hi I am Josh," said the first voice.
"I'm Greg,"said the deep second voice.
"And I'm Adam," said the third voice, "We are your announcers today and we would like to welcome you to this years vert and skatepark competion."
"Yes," said Greg, "And boy, I have never seen such a bigger crowd than this. It is one of the biggest I've seen in years."
"There are also a good prize of $5000 check and a sponsership from Billabong. I wish the competitors luck." added Josh.
"I would also like to tell you about our sponsers for this event," said Adam, "It is brought to you by Gatorade, the Thirst Quencher, and Right Guard."
The first guy to go on the half pipe for the competion was a guy named Carlos Martinez. He did a nose grind, a 720 and a bunch of other tricks. He ended up getting the score 87.5 after the first his first round. Chris was next. He walked quickly to up the half pipe. He went to edge. He was ready. The horn blew, and he dropped in. Chris did a 720, a tail grind, 360, a nose grab and a few others. The horn blew again. Round 1 for Chris was over. He stepped back on the platform on the top of the half pipe where he had started. He looked impatiently up at the scoreboard for his score to show up. Sweat dripped down his face. 92.8 Relief came over his face. He was currently in first palce. Seven other people went. Thanks to the guy, Colin Jones, Chris was bumped back second place. Colin got the score 95.
The second and final round had now started. Carlos Martinez fell trying to do a 360. Colin Jones go another outstanding score. His final score was a clean 97. The rest of the contestants couldn't even match even close to Colin.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

James and Charles were on their skateboards hurrying to see Chris in the competition. They were late. James stopped abruptly. Charles stopped not far behind. "Why did you stop?" asked Charles.
"Look!" whispered James, "Isn't that Kayla that just walked into that cafe?"
"I think it is, let's go see, " said Charles. They walked quietly over and peered through the window. It was Kayla. She was making out with this other guy.
Chris saw James and and Charles running towards the halfpipe. Chris thought that they could wait.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It was now Chris' last chance to get first place. He moved to the edge of the halfpipe, his heart beating madly. The horn blew. He skated on the ramp. He had thrity seconds to do some tricks and the legendary 900. He moved smoothly doing a 720, 360, nose grind, and hand grab.
"Looks like Chris is gaining speed," commented Greg.
"I wonder what he is planning on doing," added Adam
Chris finally gained the speed he needed. He brought his body closer to his board, and started to turn. He did the 900 with such grace. Now all he needed to do was land, and land he did.
"That was so sick!"yelled Josh, "Amazing! Chris, at his first major skate competition, did the 900. Chris jumped up at the side of the ramp. He lifted his board over his head full of triumph. The announcers were yelling with excitement, and the huge crowd was cheering madly. Charles and James ran up the steps to where Chris was standing.They were both out of breath.
Charles was the first to speak. "Chris...Kayla...we...saw her cheating."
"Yeah, added James, "We saw her making out with this one other guy just now.
"Oh, she is going to get it!" said a really mad Chris.Charles, Chris, and James walked down the steps back onto the ground . Chris was given the $5000 check and a gold medal. Colin was given siler and Carlos, despite his fall, was given the bronze. Kayla came up to Chris all innocently. Apparently her make out session in the cafe was over.
"Oh Chris!" said Kayla excitedly while kissing him on the cheek.
"Get off me!" said Chris while looking at her with cold eyes. "It's over! I never want to see you again. You cheated on me."
"What!?! How did you know?"
"My friend James and Charles saw you. Good bye!"
She stampered off very displeased with herself. The lady who asked Chris for his sign up information walked up to him. She was wearing a black sundress. Her red hair shined a magnificent glow in the sunlight. She was holding a clip board in her left arm.
"Hello Chris. Let me introduse myself. My name is Debbie and I am a representitve for the skateboarding gear company, Billabong."
"Hi!" responded Chris nervously.
"Billabong would be honored for you to join the people we sponser."
"Sure I'll join, thanks," said Chris.
James and Charles walked over to the Hot Dog stand to get something to eat. Chris and Debbie were now alone.
Chris blurted out before he could stop himself. Would you be interested in going to dinner or a movie sometime?"
"Sure!" replied Debbie, "I would love to."
Chris sighed with relief.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I am so very happy now. Well there is that issue of Kayla cheating on me, but oh well, she was a bit over demanding. Anyways, I am now a pro skater and I earned a bit more cash. Another year of college paid for. Debbie wnt out on a date two nights ago. We had a blast! We went to a fancy resturant and then to a late night movie. As for James and Charles, James now has a very popular message board that has over 5000 members, and Charles helps him out by being second in command. Well, I better get going. I am competeing in the X Games and I am next. So see you around .[/i]


~*The End*~

[James]

[color=#707875]Wow, Chris became a famous skater and Charles and myself got stuck with a message board. ~_^

Hehe, kidding.

Nice story. ^_^ I've never had one written about me before...well, I probably have, but it probably wasn't very nice. ^_^;;

Thanks for posting it. ^_^[/color]

[KittyLynn]

[SIZE=1][COLOR=dodgerblue]I really liked it. 'Cept for the part of me cheating, I wouldn't actually do that. And I'm not all blondie and preppy like that, but it goes well with the story, so thats good! ^^ I really liked it and can't wait to read more.

-Kitty[/COLOR] [/SIZE]

[Syk3]

Not bad. ^_^ It's a pretty good fanfic, and I like how you added me as a cameo in there. *plots to write a fanfic where he is one of the main characters* :devil:

The story was pretty good, but I think I would have liked it if you had drawn it out a bit more. The dialogue needs a little improving, and you missed a few quotations here and there, but it's an overall good story. ^_^

[Shy]

[size=1]It was a fun story, even though I would be a terrible announcer. Heh, oh well. Good work, and thank you for including me in a couple of lines.

-Shy[/size]

[Snufkin]

Whee! This was a really fun story to read. ^^ It was quite entertaining and very interesting. *nods* *reads it over agian* Wish I had more to say about it though o.O

[Neoclone-7]

Really good story! I like my role in it, even though the best trick I've ever done on a skate board, was a nose grind... on my nose!

[Tog]

I like your writing style in this one. It really shows what you can do as a writer. I'm not really crazy about the story itself, though. I guess it's because I know very little about the people on OB and less about skateboarding. The only thing a 900 looks like to me is a nine and some zeros after it. Yeeeah.

[instantramen14]

[color=purple] I liked it, very creative. Although i am skateboard illeterate, i enjoyed it. Youre a great writer!!! Keep on writing.[/color]

[Assassin]

[size=1][color="666666"]
Yay! :: Claps :: Very great I love the story theme. I wish I could ride a skate board. But I will keep with a bike. But any way very great I LOVE IT!
[/size][/color]

[Shinken]

I love skateboarding. This is a cool fanfic. Write some more. ;) (If this seems rushed, it's because I'll probably get kicked offline AGAIN :devil: )

[Charles]

I enjoyed this. It's mighty gosh darn accurate. Especially the part where James beats me in Mario Kart 64. I've not played it nearly enough to be any good. The only flaw in characterization was how KittyLyn turned out to be a bimbo or sorts. Otherwise, it was neat.


It's super flattering finding myself in the story, too. Especially since I didn't die in the end. Great job.

The fact that I read this, but refused to see [i]Grind[/i] should speak volumes.

[WW2]

Heh, that was good.

I liked how you used people you knew from OB, and formed your own little story. That was a unique idea.

Oh and the skateboarding aspect was really good too. You ought to have had Tony Hawk or some other pro, congradulate Chris on his win.
But that's just my opinion.:D

[Japan]

The only problem with that flaw was that I didn't know that kitty's name was Kayla either. So the Kayla in the story and Kitty are not the same person. Kitty is too nice for that sort of thing....Kayla is a common name you know.

[OtakuSennen]

Hehe.. I think that's an original one, isn't it?.. I don't remember a fanfic revolving around OB people before this particular one.

The characters seemed to really fit how they act on OB and in message boards as well.. Their personalities seemed to be well-emulated, for the most part.

(Though I really didn't follow parts of it due to the fact that I really don't know who some of the characters are in OtakuBoards.. -_-)

There ARE some spelling errors, but not any big ones or anything that makes a sentence nonsensical.. (Like a wrong spelling of "their" or "it's" or something like that)

[b]8.9/10[/b]

Hehe, nice one 86. *now inspired to make The Adventures of Sykman a reality*

[Burori]

Really good L. you have talent in writing. If it is at all possible can you add me?

[Guest Chris]

nice story. i'm very flattered that you chose me for the main char. though i can ride a bike, let alone skateboard, i enjoye that story very nicely.

and i agree that kittylyn would never cheat on anyone :rolleyes:

EDIT: i CAN'T ride a bike, let alone skateboard . . .

[Shinmaru]

Heh, nice story. I'm flattered that I was in it...

...wait. I wasn't in it?! I see how it is...j/k...

I thought it was a well-written story. The paragraphs were a little too close together for my tastes and that made the story a bit hard to read. And there were some mispellings, missed quotations, etc. but that's understandable. However, I won't just sit here and nitpick. I enjoyed the story very much and I thought it was pretty cool.

Though, it's probably better that I wasn't in it. I can't skateboard to save my life, heh.

[Nate]

[color=purple]Sorry, but i was lookin through fan-fics, and read this, and loved it. Even as a true skater, I could notice you at least tried to get stuff right as you wrote this(I'm assuming you dont' skate, if you do, then ignore that) But the main problem is it sounded a little preppy for a skater.[/color]

[QUOTE][i]"My friend James and Charles saw you. Good bye!"[/i] [/QUOTE]
[color=darkorchid]Loose the "My friend" Part. Just say: James and Charles saw you.[/color]

[QUOTE] [i]"That would be awesome! I am going to call Kayla back and tell her the news.[/i][/QUOTE]
[color=purple]That wouldbe awesome should be either: That would by tight, or: That would be sick.Awesome is too...to...preppy for the skater.[/color]

[QUOTE][i]. There was pepperoni pizza on the table in the kitchen along with a 24 can pack of Pepsi. Chris helped himself to a couple aof slices and a Pepsi out of the box.[/i] [/QUOTE]
[color=darkorchid]Perfect example of skater. I have done this a million times.[/color]

[QUOTE][i]Charles and James skateboard too, though not as serious as I.[/i] [/QUOTE]
[color=purple]Charles and James also skateboard, but I'm more serious, or: I'm more hardcore.[/color]


[color=darkorchid]Other than what i pointed out, it's awesome. Oh, and the variaty was pretty bland. 360, 540s, nose and tails, etc. To bland. Throw in some varial hardflip or something[/color].

[QUOTE] [i]"Skateboard or vert?"
"Vert please..."[/i] [/QUOTE]
[color=purple]Street or vert.[/color]

[color=darkorchid])\( @ T 3[/color]

[Lady Asphyxia]

[font=Verdana][size=1]Nate, please don't resurrect topics that are 9 months old. It's against the rules. If it happens again I'll have to close this thread.[/size][/font]