Emotional Maturity

[Adahn]

There isn't a thread about this on the first page, I believe, and if it is a repeat, I would be happy to be redirected. I want to know what people think signs of maturity are, and whether they think themselves to be mature or not. I'm not very old (17), and I've thought myself mature before, but I believe I was incorrect. I think I was merely [I]intelligent[/I] . One can be mature, and unintelligent, or vise-versa. Anyways, I think I became mature when I realized that what I want more than anything in the world is someone to love and start a family with. I know I'm not ready yet, I have to do the "finish high school/go to college/get a job" thing first, but it sucks that I feel the way I do now. I have to wait so long, and it's like an emptiness inside of me. Well, thanks for listening, and I'd be glad to hear any input on the subject.

[Sweet Setsuna]

Sometimes I act quite immature, but not often. I usually just act goofy because I'm hyper. The only time I really act immature is when I'm mad at someone. I usually won't talk to a person if I am angry with them. I'm only 14, but not talking to someone because you are angry with them I'm quite sure would be considered immature by most people.

[BabyGirl]

[color=deeppink]When it comes to me, I think it all depends on what day you judge my maturity on :p

First off, I was a spoiled kid growing up. I always knew how to get my way, and if I didn't I'd whine until everything happened my way. I'm still a pro at it ^_~ However, I know that by doing that I was being stupid and immature, but somehow its engrained in my personality now...sad but true.

Secondly, however, I grew up with a younger brother [he was born when I was 6] that was diagnosed with cerebral palsy. With his birth, challenges, and demands, I lost a lot of my later childhood and was forced to grow up quickly. I didn't get attention, [i]he[/i] did. It wouldn't matter so much now, but I was only 6 and still in my spoiled little kid stage, hah.

So I grew up having to deal with something that most people don't, and I think this contributed greatly to my maturity. It wasn't until he suddenly passed away in February that I REALLY got a wake up call and FINALLY 'grew up' and 'matured'. I realized that nobody is going to be around forever, so I should treat them and love them as if they're leaving tomorrow.

It has given me an entirely new perspective on the world, and it's amazing how much I've changed. Too bad it took me so long to grow up, even if I did have maturity, I was still that spoiled little kid whose world got interrupted by the birth of a special brother. Now I know it was all for the better, even if it has made life hard.

...hehe, why don't I just tell my whole life story while I'm at it?[/color]

[amibasuki]

[FONT=arial]I think there's a difference between emotional maturity and acting mature. acting mature is when you, yeah, act at least your age, if not older. emotional maturity is more of a psychological thing, I think. you could act like you're five years older than you really are, and still be emotionally immature.

I'm not a hundred percent certain of what emotional maturity is, so I'm just throwing out ideas that seem to make sense to me, at least. if anyone else can fill me in, please do.

I think it could have something to do with how you deal with certain things, like trying to mentally/emotionally accept the ways things are. like if you get upset over small things very easily, are very dependent on someone (like a boyfriend or girlfriend) to tell you they love you or else your esteem plummets, or if you have a bad temper that gets set off a lot. I would consider that to be emotional immaturity. I'm not saying someone with a quick temper/etc. is immature period, because I know some people who have those same characteristics, and they don't act immature at all. I'm also not saying if you get like that every now and again that you'd be emotionally immature. I'm talking about if that's how you acted all the time. I think emotional maturity is something you just have to grow into. you can't just decide to change the way you feel about certain things on a whim.

as for how I think I am, I think I act pretty mature for the most part. I think that I'm far from being emotionally mature, however (at least used in the context I put it in). better off by far than last year, but I have quite a long way to go.[/FONT]

[Guest Skyechild91]

Well, i am mature emotionally. but not overall. i have to be one of the most immature 12 year old you have ever met. im not very organized, but i can handle even extremely upsetting emotional situations. i was always the one that people would run to, (and they still do!) for advice concerning friends, family, boy/girlfriends. i was always calm, and would try to lokat the the situation from everyone that was involveds point of vew. im good that way.

[Defcon5]

I feel I am somewhat mature, more mature than alot of people my age anyway. And it kinda sucks, cause you, in a sense, lose your childhood. Alot of the kids at my school are immature and think that things like pulling on peoples tie (if your school had a uniform where you had to wear ties you'd know what I mean, most would anyway.) throwing things across the room when a teacher isn't looking, messing up other people as they try to open there lock are funny. I think it's stuff I found funny when I was in Jr. High. Because of things like this I really don't have many friends, because I can't bring myself to do things like that and cause adults to lose respect they had in me. Most other kids don't care, and because they don't and we don't see the same things as funny I am friendless for the most part. So while I try to act like an adult, other kids my age are out having fun.

[Queen Asuka]

[QUOTE][i]Originally posted by SailorStar [/i]
[B]Well, i am mature emotionally. but not overall. i have to be one of the most immature 12 year old you have ever met. [/B][/QUOTE]

[color=hotpink][size=1]You just completely contradicted yourself. And I will never believe you are emotionally mature at the ripe young age of TWELVE. My youngest sister is 12. There is just NO WAY.

I remember when I was twelve. I thought I was SO IN LOVE with this guy I grew up with. Yeah, right. I had no idea, but I sure thought that I did.

I think that I must be emotionally mature if I'm living on my own, spending practically no time with any people, and for the most part, sucking it up and dealing with it. I am hoping to meet more people, but as of now, school is getting the most of me.

And I would rather be starting a family than going to college. It feels like a big waste of time and money to me.[/color][/size]

[lea]

[QUOTE][i]Originally posted by amibasuki [/i]
[B][FONT=arial]..... are very dependent on someone (like a boyfriend or girlfriend) to tell you they love you or else your esteem plummets[/FONT] [/B][/QUOTE]
well, i think your emotional maturity is different from your self esteem.....
your self esteem is how you view yourself, i dont think maturity plays much of a part in that, if at all.....

[Queen Asuka]

[QUOTE][i]Originally posted by lea2385 [/i]
[B]well, i think your emotional maturity is different from your self esteem.....
your self esteem is how you view yourself, i dont think maturity plays much of a part in that, if at all..... [/B][/QUOTE]

[color=hotpink][size=1]You have no idea how much the two are interelated.

People who are emotionally mature generally view themselves in a positive way, accept their faults, love themselves, etc.

Those who don't, tend to be the immature types who need people to stroke their ego and rely too much on what others say. If someone calls them out, they get upset.

It is a problem that I have been struggling with. For the most part I can say that I'm over it. I do love myself.

I know that I am beautiful. Inside and out.[/color][/size]

[wrist cutter]

[QUOTE][i]Originally posted by Queen Asuka [/i]
[B]Those who don't, tend to be the immature types who need people to stroke their ego and rely too much on what others say. If someone calls them out, they get upset.[/B][/QUOTE]

Sounds very similar to how I'd start my autobiography >_>;

[FartMaster745]

I've definetly changed since, well, my younger years. I'm only 15 at the moment, but my mind is changing almost about everything. I can't handle pressure real well, but I am getting used to it. I was used a lot in school by my so-called friends.

When 5th grade came, I really changed. I shut myself out from the world and made friends with only two people, Stephen and myself. During this time, I read books. I didn't watch tv as much.

I guess you can say 5th grade was a turning point in my life. I used to be the class clown. Now I'm the quiet and strange twin. I guess the more repect I had, the more mature I became. People don't make fun of my last name anymore...

Note: I use FartMaster745 only because I made it up when I was little and I decided to use that as my internet name, just incase anyone is wondering why or how I got that name.

[Doukeshi]

First off I would please ask people to forgive my spelling on this post, I'm very tired. Anyway, I think that emotional maturity has something to do with you naivety level and, as has been said, the way you deal with certain emotional situations. Like say if you were completely niave about something that would mean that your emotional maturity towards the subject was low. Unless of course you acted towards that naivety in a mature way not going "what does that mean" in a long drawn out childish way.

Emotional maturity is where you can deal with something important or intense, like say a relative passing away, in a mature responsible way. Not acting like a brat or going huffy when noone is paying attention to you or saying something really innapropriate, if you get my meaning.

I know I'm making no sense...I'm tired, leave me alone.

[Dagger]

Honestly, I think it's impossible to judge your own emotional maturity with complete honesty. To say the least, it's difficult to avoid being either too kind or too critical of yourself.

Anyway, in my experience, everyone matures eventually. Some people are forced to learn emotional maturity at a young age because they've had to deal with hardship or abuse. Some people don't grow up until they're in their thirties.

But ultimately it depends on the individual. I'm fifteen, and although I think I'm a fairly intelligent person, I know that I have a lot to learn about life. I tend to romanticize situations in which I should try to be objective, and I'm so eager to be in love that at times I subconsciously try to convince myself that I am.

*shrugs* I suppose I'll grow out of it, neh?

~Dagger~

[BabyGirl]

[QUOTE][i]Originally posted by Dagger IX1 [/i]
[B]I tend to romanticize situations in which I should try to be objective, and I'm so eager to be in love that at times I subconsciously try to convince myself that I am.

*shrugs* I suppose I'll grow out of it, neh?
[/B][/QUOTE]

[color=deeppink]Nah, you'll never grow out of it but you don't need to, either. When you actually do find someone that you love and fall in love with, it'll just be that much better :)[/color]

[eleanor]

[size=1] I believe that I am more emotionally mature than most people my age, [13], but not actually so mature that I'd be able to get through anything. I really don't think [i]anyone[/i] can be truly emotionally mature while being 13 years old in the first place. I tend to overthink things people say to me, and I can get offended easily in some subjects.

But like I said before, I think I'm more emotionally mature than most people my age. I feel that I'm very independent, and I know when I need help or not. I don't complain about...well, anything [to some extent] compared to many others at my school. I accept things as they are, even though I can get a little fired up about some things. I handle things relatively well while under pressure, and I don't tend to rant about my depressions to my friends. [whether that's a good thing or not...]

I actually hate it when I try to coax my best friend into telling me what's wrong, and then they automatically say that I wouldn't understand. =_= Yeah, I'm the one going around talking about all my problems 24/7. :P Yes, I have a problem with making fun of people, though. I guess that's a sign of immaturity.

I guess my turning point was this summer, before school started. I could tell because I become more withdrawn and distant with my friends. My whole view point changed, and my attitude has altered a bit. I don't like talking about boys or anything to do with my friends' 'crushes' or whatever. -_-;;; I don't know.

I [i]do[/i] tend to act mature most of the time, unless I'm really happy and giddy [which is not often, let me tell you...] [/size]

[amibasuki]

[FONT=arial]lol, I don't get why people think you have to be the calm and collected, never-crack-a-smile-type person to be considered mature (not specifically talking about you, but just from what other people have said in past topics). there is a difference between being immaturely, aggravatingly giddy-happy and being just plain old giddy-happy. [/FONT]

[eleanor]

[size=1] Trust me...I practically never get giddy. :P I am happy most of the time, or at least content.[/size]

[DeathKnight]

[color=crimson]I think that a good sign of emotional maturity is when you begin to form opinons on a grander [what people might consider 'adult', ironically enough] scale. Things like religion, maybe polotics- or how you feel about things in the world, things that are being fiercely debated. Even those are bad examples- just things that make you more of who you are, that make you more than just a young person- it makes you a young adult. Maybe I am off on that- or there is a good chance I just cannot form what I am trying to say into the proper words, heh.

I am just over a month into being 15 years old. I consider myself to be mature for my age. As a child, I was withdrawn alot. I enjoyed things that I now realize were mature for my age- nothing melodramatically major, but smaller things that pointed to how I would be in the future. The really big leap occured when I was 11 and a half, honestly- I fell in love then for the first time, was in a relationship for the first time. My eyes seemed to suddenly open wider, and I realized just how big the world was- heh. Further events since that altered my personality drastically, coupled with rememberance of my childhood, and forged how I am today. I enjoy being a bit more mature than I 'should be'.

It is a fun expierence to baffle people older than you, heh.[/color]

[Magnum Apex]

[font=trebuchet ms][color=darkblue]To me, emotional maturity means dealing with one's personal issues without giving up to fear or pain. It means overcoming, or trying to overcome those obstacles because of what you believe in.

Emotional maturity cannot truly be seen on the surface. The only time you can even "tell" when someone is emotionally mature is how said person handles himself around emotionally stressful situations. I suppose a combination of self-esteem, not being selfish and always knowing to expect the unexpected are key characteristics of someone who's emotionally mature. Someone who is emotionally mature usually doesn't take him or herself too seriously, nor other people. Simple comments, as insulting as they may be, wouldn't be a bother at all to an emotionally mature person.

I also believe there is no specific way to act "mature." The very thought of someone saying that one acts mature makes me want to point at the one who said it and laugh at him/her all day. Maturity itself doesn't exist, as it is endlessly subjective in nature. The best definition of maturity I can come up with, as general as it may be, is the capacity of a person to successfully learn from experiences. People who rarely make the same mistake twice are considered mature, in my book. I'm talking about every possible mistake you could make... from something you shouldn't have said, or for taking the wrong method in accomplishing a task, to wish for something that you now regret, to procrastinate for a test. I guess maturity also involves seeing ones mistakes, and accept them rather than give excuses to their existence.

Oh well, that's what I think.[/color][/font]

[James]

[color=#707875]I think that as you go from the age of about 12 to 18, your mind changes a lot. During those years, your opinions change...your maturity changes...etc etc...

Someone said that intelligence and knowledge doesn't equal maturity. I'd have to agree. I know that on these very boards, I've had debates with people who I consider to be quite [i]intelligent[/i], but not [i]mature[/i].

In terms of how you define maturity...I guess everyone has a slightly different viewpoint.

I think that a large part of maturity is the ability to respond do things around you in a reasonable way...and to essentially deal with things as an adult. Even that is a very vague description, but without specific examples, I'm not sure how to describe it.

I mean, for instance. If someone gets banned from OB tomorrow and they decide to begin spamming the place up the next day -- is that mature? No. But what if they decide to simply join another board that is more suited to their taste. That would be a lot more mature.

When people are banned, they sometimes ask me or someone else why they were banned (if they aren't aware already). And in those cases, you get a clearly defined view of how mature a person is. Some people will tell me, regardless of the reason, that their banning was "ridiculous" and that I'm an idiot...or that one of the other staff is an idiot. Obviously that's not very mature.

But some people ask...I tell them, and they say "Okay, thanks. I just wanted to know."

That's obviously a more mature attitude. These are the people who [i]remember[/i] that when they register here, they're automatically saying "Yes, I agree to your terms and conditions". They're not interested in getting to a lengthy, circular argument with me about the whole thing. I see that as a sign of maturity.

And generally, I think that maturity also comes with age and experience. I'm more inclined to say "experience" though, because I've definitely met immature adults before. lol

What Jenna said about that is very true, I think. I wasn't in the same situation as her, but I did grow up as one of four children. And being the oldest (and with a father who was always working), I was often playing a fatherly role to them. I've changed diapers, given baths, fed messy babies and who knows what else...and I was doing that even at a young age.

So already, I feel like I've had my own children and cared for them for years. lol

Maybe that experience makes me take on a fatherly attitude with other people too...I don't know. Either way, it's interesting how your experiences in life shape who you are to a certain degree.[/color]

[Baron Samedi]

I, of course, think that I am mature. Don't most people? To many, the reality of themselves matters not, compared to what they want to think they are like. Only my friends/relatives could judge if I am mature, but it is better when you can see in yourself maturity, rather than think that you have maturity. Now, back to emotional maturity. Perhaps. I do not know. I tend to just get on with things, and not think about them. I don't mean that I purposely ignore them, but I just seem to forget about it. I am quite possibly self-centered, but I do try to think of others, I know what else is going on in the world, but it if isn't directly related to me... well it doesn't seem to matter so much.

However it is this way with most people I believe. You hear on the news that someone died. Fine, it happens all the time. But then you find out that it was the parent of someone you know. Or brother, sister, friend, whatever. Does that not make it more real and pertinent? So it depends on your Point of view, as to whether a person is mature. I think that I am reasonably mature, but I will probably think that many more times, before I become what everyone would call mature.

[Adahn]

I've seen alot of replies, and some of them beat around the bush a bit, but I believe it's becoming clear. A large part of maturity is simply parental instinct. Recently (within the past year), I've become very protective of my 14 year old brother. He seems careless and reckless at times, and I always tell him to be careful, or plead with him if I have to. I worry about him all the time, and just wish he would grow up and become responsible. He has a real knack for getting on my nerves, and yet, I still care about his welfare every second. I think that showing such signs of parenting skills is a way to know that your mind is truly developing in a more mature manner.

[PiroMunkie]

[size=1]Hrmm... I would really not know how to describe my maturity, or the lack there of. I can act like a child sometimes... but I do it in more subtle ways. Like if I get in trouble for something I actually feel bad for doing I tend to regress by cowering and pulling into myself, much like a child would. I more than not hate to make people feel bad or whatnot, so when I do I just feel as though I need to shut myself off from everyone so I do not effect them in anyway in order to make them feel bad. Eventually I get over it, of course, but how long that takes really depends.

I am also very idealistic, regardless of how unrealistic that ideal may be. I believe in my ideals very strongly and refuse to accept anything else for myself then what it is that I want. Some people tell me that I am stupid for this and that I should just "face reality" (which I do face reality, I just do not agree with it), others tell me I have every right to be picky like that. Although it can be a horribly painful and depressing way to live, it pays off big time when an ideal is met. *crosses fingers for the job at Best Buy*

So aside from that, and other scattered aspects of me, I would say I am more or less 'mature'.

I do not really see maturity -- of any kind -- as growing up, but more so just making everything work for you. Like amibasuki said, [i]"I don't get why people think you have to be the calm and collected, never-crack-a-smile-type person to be considered mature..."[/i] If that is maturity, then kill me now because I simply shall not do it. I cannot stand being that conservative and conformist. People like myself actually enjoy being more outlandish and "against the grain", and if we can take that and actually make ourselves successful (especially in such a conservative society) then that right there, to me, is maturity.

Doing that also while being more or less ethical and moral (a little contradictory, no? ^__^).


Mmm... I love talking about this, it makes me feel better for some reason, lol.[/size]

[lea]

[QUOTE][i]Originally posted by Queen Asuka [/i]
[B][color=hotpink][size=1]You have no idea how much the two (emotional maturity and self esteem) are interelated.

People who are emotionally mature generally view themselves in a positive way, accept their faults, love themselves, etc.

Those who don't, tend to be the immature types who need people to stroke their ego and rely too much on what others say. If someone calls them out, they get upset.[/color][/size] [/B][/QUOTE]

well, i am not to sure of that...
i know somone who has been taking care of their younger (5 of them) since they were 10. they only have one parent, and i think they are pretty mature (they are mellow when people argue with them, stuff like that)
but, from what i get, they dont like themselves....they have really low self esteem
so, that means they are immature?

[Guest Skyechild91]

[QUOTE][i]Originally posted by Queen Asuka [/i]
[B][color=hotpink][size=1]You just completely contradicted yourself. And I will never believe you are emotionally mature at the ripe young age of TWELVE. My youngest sister is 12. There is just NO WAY.

color][/size] [/B][/QUOTE]
Actually, yes, there is. I am. I mean. I dont go all giggly when i hear the word kiss. i mean, really. some boy who is my best firned ever, told me he likes me. guess what i said. cool. adn i like him back. he desnt want to go out, becuase he's afraid to get his feelings hurt. the last girl he went out with, he was with for a while, then she moved, and they broke up. i mean. im giggly when it comes to boys, but when its otehrs that need help, im probably the clamest person you will find. im dofferent from a lot of teens. i eat maybe, maybe one meal a day, then im not hungry for the rest of the day.