Writing Untitle Free Verse poem

[Nomad]

Untitled

The feeling is something never before seen to me,
Always there deep in the soul,
Unable to be revealed,
Revealed to the only one who can help me.

The feeling is to much to handle,
Always around you,
But belonging elsewhere,
With someone else.

It's hard to deny what I feel,
Although try as I do,
It is hiding from the conversations of everyday life,
Not wanting to be just another loser.

The feeling is bottled up inside,
It's eating me alive,
I can't sleep without it waking me,
I can't think straight,
I can't go on with this feeling locked up inside.

I don't know what to do now,
The feeling has caused another one,
One that has taken many lives,
One that has tampered with the feelings of others,
The feeling of depression will consume me,
It will consume my soul unless I am able to reveal to you my feelings.

It brings about the feeling of hopelessness,
Showing me that I mean othing,
Nothing to anyone,
Showing me that I shall feel the lonliness of life,
I shall be alone until death,
I shall be alone until it ends,
Ending it sooner will ease the pain quicker.

The sleepless nights are killing me,
Making me feel the pain worse than before,
Pushing along the angst,
the agony of going on alone,
Alone without the feeling I have longed for.

The bastard of a person I am,
Has yet to become happy,
Happiness is something for the beautiful people,
For the people who have experienced the feeling,
The people who will always be unlike me,
The all know the feeling,
But have yet to feel depression,
Only you can relieve my pain.

You know who I am,
We know each other,
You know the feeling,
I do not,
I only wish to feel that way,
To be like so many others,
To be happy like you,
To be happy with you.

Nowhere have I found happiness,
Nowhere have I seen it for me,
Only for others,
Others who do not notice the unhappy ones,
The ones who have not felt depression before.

I pray the angels to keep my soul,
To keep my soul if the depression should take me,
If it should suddenly end,
If my life is extinguished.

This is not an obsession,
It is in fact the feeling of happiness,
To have someone to give the feeling back,
That is what the feeling is,
Although the evil is quickly devouring every type of feeling that induces happiness,
The hate is consuming me,
Only one person can rescue me.

My heart is slowy wilting in weakness,
Everytime I miss the feeling,
Everytime it is directed to someone else.

Depression is not the feeling,
It's not the feeling but is in fact killing it,
Hurting the inside every day that goes by without you,
Whenever I neglect to help you,
Whenever I neglect to express myself to you.

The unbarable pain of depression is something you shouldn't know,
It is something that you should not deal with,
While I suffer from this horrible sickness,
Unknown to everyone around me,
Unknown to you,
Which could be as dangerous as anything else.

If the feeling is agreed upon,
The crime will be commited,
One which I will be arrested for if failed,
But could escape the harsh reality of lonliness,
But be sentenced to damnation is succeeded.

Everything seemed so good about life,
Then the reality kicks in and life sucks,
Life is unfair on so many levels,
The harshest being the sickness infecting me,
No wonder people have to end it all,
ALthough relieving them from their sadness,
It causes grief to the ones around them.

The crows are watching over me,
Waiting for me to make a choice,
Waiting for the answers I've been looking for,
Waiting for the answer that will push me over the edge,
The answer that will bring the knife,
The answer that will slit, cut and hang my way out of life.

The savior will come to the aid,
Only if the moment presents itself,
Only is the feeling is felt,
Only if you can say that you feel the same as me,
As I have thought many of times,
Afraid at the rejection,
The rejection of your feelings.

Death will be the result of rejection,
Pain will be caused,
Grief will grace everyones soul for life,
The end will come soon,
The crows will take me to a new life,
A new life where the happiness is felt,
A place where the love is shared,
A place where I am loved as so many others around me where.



END

Yeah so there, say what you will about it.