Kenshin_K Posted September 27, 2003 Share Posted September 27, 2003 When I become an angel I want a pair of wings, But I don't want a halo Because I am afraid. Afraid that I might lose it When I'm flying high, Afraid that I might lose it When I'm soaring through the sky. Well? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zen Posted September 27, 2003 Share Posted September 27, 2003 Pretty good. Sounds like a lyric from a song, so, cool! :D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kenshin_K Posted September 27, 2003 Author Share Posted September 27, 2003 Thank you! Actually, I was singing in the shower when I came up with this, so it kind of is like lyrics. lol, funny huh? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Meteora Posted September 27, 2003 Share Posted September 27, 2003 [color=666666][size=1][i]Wow thats pretty cool. What doesit mean? Or does it not mean anything, and you just felt like making it up for the fun of it. Its a great poem though.[/color][/size][/i] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mitch Posted September 28, 2003 Share Posted September 28, 2003 [size=1] It's okay..it is nothing that really catches my attention, nor I'm sure any person that actually finds joy in poetry. But every poet writes garbage, and every poet starts somewhere. Just keep writing.[/size] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kenshin_K Posted September 28, 2003 Author Share Posted September 28, 2003 You have your own opinions, Mitch. I guess I have to take the bad with the good. Well, anyway, I just made it for the fun of it. No meaning really. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest KyleTheHusker Posted September 28, 2003 Share Posted September 28, 2003 Overall, I'd say it's a pretty decent poem. It seems to convey a more positive message, and that's always a good thing. Pretty good for jus thinking it up in the shower. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carr Posted September 30, 2003 Share Posted September 30, 2003 I like the idea. It makes me think. *blinks and thinks for a while* :therock: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Inuyashagurl_15 Posted September 30, 2003 Share Posted September 30, 2003 I like it a lot do you mind if I set it as my background on my desktop??? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kenshin_K Posted September 30, 2003 Author Share Posted September 30, 2003 Go ahead! That would be awesome! I'm really glad that you like it that much! Thank you! (if you don't mind, put my name by it or something. I like to have my credit. ^^) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lady Asphyxia Posted September 30, 2003 Share Posted September 30, 2003 [size=1]Ignore Mitch. He could have phrased that better, in my opinion. That was a bit harsh, really. [Sorry Mitch, but I believe it was.] Personally, while it wasn't the most brilliant poetry in the world [In terms of rhyme scheme, length, metaphors and technical merit], I think that the gorgeous part of the poem is the sentiment behind it. It's a sweet poem, and it's not cluttered by the usual teenage angst that most poets our age like to indulge themselves in. Honestly, it's a lovely poem, the kind I could see in a volume of poetry, with a picture of an angel flying through the sky holding her halo on top of her head, or something like it. I think you've done really well. And, even better, you've accepted criticism well, and, as such, I'm extremely proud of you. ^.^[/size] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mitch Posted October 1, 2003 Share Posted October 1, 2003 [QUOTE][i]Originally posted by Lady Asphyxia [/i] [B][size=1]Ignore Mitch. He could have phrased that better, in my opinion. That was a bit harsh, really. [Sorry Mitch, but I believe it was.] [/size] [/B][/QUOTE] [size=1] Well, I didn't have much time, and I had already went through 5 other poems, and thus I was lazy. I did not mean it in a mean way, but people are so sensitive. Ah well.[/size] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lady Asphyxia Posted October 1, 2003 Share Posted October 1, 2003 [size=1]I know you didn't mean it that way, Mitch. ^.~ And people are sensitive -- as we both well know -- because writing is such an imprecise art. Unless you have someone with your exact style, you can never know how good or bad you are compared to others. You can [i]believe[/i] you're better than this person or that person, but you can't be sure.[/size] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mitch Posted October 1, 2003 Share Posted October 1, 2003 [QUOTE][i]Originally posted by Lady Asphyxia [/i] [B][size=1]I know you didn't mean it that way, Mitch. ^.~ And people are sensitive -- as we both well know -- because writing is such an imprecise art. Unless you have someone with your exact style, you can never know how good or bad you are compared to others. You can [i]believe[/i] you're better than this person or that person, but you can't be sure.[/size] [/B][/QUOTE] [size=1] That is called an opinion. And obviously, what I say about some piece of writing should differ from what anyone--you included--says about it. In order to critque something, you have to have an opinion, thus mine should and shall differ from other's opinions.[/size] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Inuyashagurl_15 Posted October 1, 2003 Share Posted October 1, 2003 Ok no prob Ill put it at the botom in bold leters CREATED BY Kenshin_K Can I put you on my buddy list thanks alot Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chibi_Sango Posted October 4, 2003 Share Posted October 4, 2003 Hey , I love your poem (it was really touching)! Shut up all of you stupid people who say it's bad! Obveosly you don't know poetry! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kenshin_K Posted October 4, 2003 Author Share Posted October 4, 2003 Thank you! I'll take any other opinions too! (don't be afraid of Chibi_Sango. Her bark is worse than her bite.... Much worse) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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