(in)dependence

[Adahn]

[COLOR=green]I'm alone right now, and I was thinking about how much I depend on other people. I've noticed that I'm a little sad, because there is nobody around me. Before, I was always happy to be alone, because I found it peaceful. Right now, though, I feel like something is missing.

In addition to that, I've been trying to break away from dependence on my parents. I feel the need to get out more, as much as I can, and I actually enjoy school because I'm always surrounded by different people. Before, I was content with relying on other people, but I just feel the need to get away. I'm not going to run of or anything, but I find myself yearning to explore. I've done everything I can, but I feel helpless.

Does anyone else experience such feelings, and how do you deal with them?[/COLOR]

[Dagger]

Yes, I've experienced those kinds of feelings. They're not very enjoyable. Still, you can try to make the best of your situation, and you can definitely learn something from this. Other people are great and all, but ultimately the only person you can depend on is yourself. It's incredibly cliched, but it's true.

It sounds to me as though you know how to be happy by yourself, and that you don't rely on others to bring you happiness. What are you trying to get away from? The people you spend most of your time with, or the ways in which you normally spend your time?

In any event, I wish you luck in sorting things through. ^__^

~Dagger~

[Wondershot]

Uh huh, it's weird, you feel that you could use independence, but sometimes it can be difficult when you like things as they are.

Sometimes independence can come from a change in lifestyle, like my new school. I joined a sports team and there are activities on weekends. Maybe with a little change of pace, things might get a little more interesting. It's bad when you have too much time on your hands, because you have nothing to do, and feel dependent. Try getting a job or joining a sports team or club or something to fill the hours. You can still hang out with people, and you have something to do.

Good luck.

[future girl]

I'm four months away from being 18 and I've been trying lately to get as far away from my parents as humanly possible. I've never been really emotionally attached to them, which doesn't mean I don't love them, it's just that I was never the type of child to seek their approval or anything like that. I was always really comfortable without them, as opposed to those little kids who cry the second their parents are gone. What I want to do now is cut off all financial strings. I'm looking for my own job, I'm definately paying for college without their help (and they made that decision, not me <_<), I wanna buy my own car and you know just do all the little stuff on my own now. I wanna make myself without their help, I know it's odd to say, but I never really felt like my parents believed in me or gave a crap about my education so I wanna become the richest woman on earth and then rub it in their face :rolleyes: :p

[wrist cutter]

If you want independence, then find a job. This isn't calculus.

[Guest KyleTheHusker]

Just wait till you get to college. Then, if you would like to, you can live independently. You can go to a school that's far away from home, you can get a job and rent your own apartment and live as independently as you want to. It's easy to get burned out, though, trying to balance social life, school life and classes, romantic life, and a job. Just be responsible and you can become as independent as you want to be.

As for the feelings you are getting, I know the feeling. Wanting to get away from your parents, being stuck in a school for 8 hours a day, living at home with others, wanting to be alone and not be alone at the same time. Yeah, it's tough. The only advice I can give is to be patient and enjoy what is given to you. It'll be your time soon enough.

[Kenshin_K]

I've lived with great grandparents to finish the school year in another state. Without my parents, almost living on my own(except for the money stuff). It felt kinda cool. Now I have to live with my parents. I make the most of things. I rather be alone at times and at others, I need someone.

Whoa... I think I just found out how complecated I really am....

[Artemis]

In reference to emotional/social independence (being alone), I truly believe that no one was made to be completely alone. Man (as in humankind) is a social animal. You're meant to be around other people at times. :D However, having time to yourself is completely necessary to your own well-being. Not being in a romantic relationship is very important (I believe) in high school at least. You've got a lot going on at this time in your life. You miss out on a lot of different people and experiences if you limit yourself (and become too dependent) on any one person. :(
As far as independency in taking care of yourself, I'm really excited about getting away and being on my own for college. For years, I've been wanting to get out of the house. (You would too if you had 9 little brothers and sisters!!!) This isn't b/c I hate them or anything. On the contrary, I love them all (and my parents) very much. Somehow, that almost makes it easier to leave for periods of time: I'm really secure in my immediate family relationships. And maybe being the oldest child makes independcy easier as well: I've always been the role model, the first one to do [I]everything![/I] :rolleyes: Does anyone else think that how you fall in the order of siblings (or lack thereof) affects your personality? I know I tend to be a leader on group projects at school. I'm not afraid to be the one to step up and get things done. Hmmm... Maybe I'm just weird... I've had a lot of people tell me that... *goes to corner to ponder life, it's purpose, and it's end* *gets lost in metaphysics*

[Drix D'Zanth]

Firstly, humans are not, as Artemis put it, sentient beings. Sentience means surviving without the need for any social interaction or reliance of some sort. I'll elaborate if contested, but let my point stand.

Secondly, I've found the same as you Erik. I didn't enjoy last summer particularily because I missed the almost constant company of people every day. School literally forces us to socialize somehow, and I relish in it. It's good to see friends every day now (almost every day ^_^) that the whole season's started up.

I've felt the desire to be free of my parents for a few years now. I love my family to death, but I enjoy the freedom of being on your own! I love being accountable to my actions only, instead of the preverbial head-over-your-shoulder late-adolescent period.

It's ok to feel helpless now, take chances and test your boundaries. Reach out a bit more and talk with girls ;). Heh, that last one is a bit superficial, I realize, but *shrugs*... I know alot of people that would be more than lucky to have you around as a friend more often! I think you should proactively choose how you want to fill the desire, but be careful of "desire".

To desire the object sometimes leads to desiring the idea of the object. This leads to either a lack of accomplishment, or a resentment once you achieve the object, but the desire remains. In sort, keep your expectations low, but your aspirations high. Motivate yourself, but keep the goals within reach. I know you have the potential to be as social as you choose.

You're a senior, live it up!

[Guest Magdalena]

Awwwwwwwwwwwwww some of you are growing up :)

I never had a childhood, so I was a mini-adult; always. Thus, at an early age, I went through my identity problems, and such early. Now at the age I am, I'm too independent. I thrive in situations where I'm completely alone...

I've also come to the point, that I realize keeping away from your parents won't teach you independence, they make great friends, too.

[Corey]

I used to revel in the time I was left alone. Be it when my family ran to the supermarket or when they go out for the day leaving me alone.

However, one extremely life-altering accident changed all of that.

Right now my mother is in rehab, and will be untill late January. She will not be coming home untill then. I see her maybe three or four times a week even thought I talk to her on the phone every day I do not see her.

Every time my father leaves the house I get a small anxiety attack. For he drives everywhere and said accident was motorvehicle related. I'm afraid of what might happen due to stupid and oblivious drivers.

Right now, I would much rather have everyone in my family in my house than anywhere in the world.

And as to the whole act of being in dependance, I am.

[Doukeshi]

Dependance huh. Well...I'm almost 18 and this time next year I shall be in University, if everything goes well that is. I am stuck between the descision to either stay and go to University in my city (it have a wonderful course corresponding to what I want to do) or go away to a completely different university (which incidently also has a wonderful course). It's all so complicated really.

I'm stuck between dependance and independance. of course if I stay here I can always be dependant...just in a different way.