Writing Gentle

[Gentle]

A poem I wrote. Nothing really. I just did it for a little writing for myself. I don't know what it's going to be about until I'm done. I don't think when I write. My fingers just move and it comes out.

~~~~

The wind blows across my face
Blowing my hair infront my eyes
It's cool and clear and moves so free
It's so gentle just like me

Fire that blazes in the forest
Burning down to the very roots
Destroying until it reaches the sea
It's so gentle just like me

The water or the sea sparkles so clear
Waves rushing over the near shore
Maybe someday again it'll be
Oh so gentle just like me

[Lady Asphyxia]

[size=1]Well, Gentle, I read your poem, and it has a lot of potential. I don't know if you meant the second stanza to be quirky and almost sarcastic -- although less harsh -- but to me it came across like that and gave the poem a whole different flavour. So very well done.

I have a few suggestions:

In the first stanza, [i]The wind [color=red]blows[/color] across my face/ [color=red]Blowing[/color] my hair infront my eyes[/i], the second blowing could be changed to, whipping, propelling. Something to get rid of the repeditiveness.

Other than that, I was quite pleased with this poem.

Cheers.[/size]

[Gentle]

Thank you. I'll try that the next time I do a poem. Like I said, I don't know how it's going to turn out until I'm done. It's up to my mood if it's going to turn out good or bad. This was fairly in the middle.