Bio Posted October 3, 2003 Share Posted October 3, 2003 I made this as I went along without thinking. Tell me what you think! ______________ The Lost One Who can stay in this world of corruption? Who can resist the tainted one's calling? Who can cross the river, The river of eternity? If I am wrong, then what is right? If I was wrong all these years, Then have I suffered for nothing? Why couldn't I see, See how wrong I must be? To slay the innocent, The evil in my eyes I know see the truth, The how tainted my mind was, I must now repent, But I feel differently Instead, I seek revenge On the one who betrayed me I swear, I'll be the one to slay it But why do you mock me? I stand firm for my cause Yet you are laughing What have I done now? am I still tainted? How is it that I cannot see the way? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heavyblade Posted October 4, 2003 Share Posted October 4, 2003 Really good. One thing, you say something about a tainted one then for the rest of the poem you refer to it as a thing not a person. You might've meant to but I think it sounds awkward. Really good I want to see some more work from you in the future. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bio Posted October 4, 2003 Author Share Posted October 4, 2003 The tainted one is an it. If you want to see my other work, there are poems by me in this section. they are: Rise, Prophecy, and Bio- another poem. And thanks! By the way, all my poems tie together. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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