Writing Something Close To Poetry

[Guest Pirate Sharp]

I'm making a demo and I need insight on what should be put on the tape and what should be crumpled up and burnt. :D

[B]Quiet Please[/B]

So what if I'm not happy?
Maybe I just don't care
What does it matter to you?
It's not like you're my mother

I can't put up with your crap
And I don't want to try
If you say just one more word
I might just up and die

If.. you.. want.. to...
Lis..ten.. to.. me...

[I]Chorus:[/I]

(Quiet please, I'm thinking here
Just want to fly away from here
You can't tell me what to do
I will not listen to you

Open up your eyes and see
You've got no control over me
So quiet please, I'm thinking here
Just want to fly away from here)

In this little room, I find
There's no open window
No way for me to leave here
And not a chance for escape

But if I close my eyes tight
And dream of yesterday
Your voice quickly dies away
So once again I am free

(Chorus)

OhhHHhh, you thought you could control me
OhhHHhh, how foolish could you be?!

(Chorus) x2

Quiet please
I'm thinking
Of flying
Away


[B]Shadows[/B]

Again
Promised I wouldn't do this
Wouldn't put myself through this
I've had enough

And if you think I'm tough
Then you're wrong..
I'm writing you this song

And it's coming straight from my heart..
Can't I just hit restart?
I had to learn that life.. is not a game

Still, you're driving me insane
I'd just give in..
But you've stolen all my friends
And now. I'm all a--lone..

I just want to go home.

Tell me, why am I here?
If all you're doing, is tor-tur-ing me?

You're cruel and you don't care
But I love you anyway

And it's
One, two, three, four o'clock in the morning
Where.. Are.. You?

I miss you
I miss you
Do you miss me too?

---End---

That's it for now, insight anyone?

[Assassin]

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Great job they great ryhming on some parts. I totally like it 10/10
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