Writing Armored Core: The Raven's Rave

[Wondershot]

Ah, a way to work on my AC story ideas... well... [i]ai vai nada[/i]...

Kizurojia: This is Tsunami...Sector N-43...Enemy AC!...NOO...

The line was enveloped by a burst of static and Ren lost contact with his partner. The AC he was using was brightly colored, consisting of a sky blue torso and right arm, and a flaming orange floating leg platform and left arm. It donned two machine guns and had just escaped from another room full of automaded defenses. The AC rounded a corner and kicked into Overboost, dodging laser fire and floating around the corner gracefully. It burst through a window, and saw two other unmanned units lying in wait...

Virtua: Earth Hammer here, all gates unlocked, moving to sector S-29.

Another AC burst through the solid barrier in front of it by firing a grenade. It dashed around the corner, and ran as fast as it's legs could carry down the empty elevator shaft. The pilot knew what was happening, and had to act fast, or die. The bright black and orange paint job was scratched up, and it was being chased by an unmanned AC. Niyura was beginning to sweat in his AC cockpit, and knew that if he was right, this mission could turn out to be his worst nightmare...

Kaze-Jin: This is Ghost Phase, area secure, now moving ahead...

The yellowish tread AC blasted a hole in the wall to proceed, the dilapidated building was being overrun with unmanned units, and some AC was acting as their ringleader. They had planned for an ambush, but they had been ambushed themselves. Virtua always had a knack for survival, but this was plain dangerous.

Ren Hikigane: This is Spitfire, all defenses out of commision. Moving ahead.

Kaze looked over to the side, but didn't see anything. He took a few steps forward cautiously, when an unmanned AC lunged out at him from behind a pillar. Kaze jumped out of the way, and the AC sliced through a pillar with it's blade. Kase dashed behind a pillar as it began to open chain gun fire, when he head a burst of static on his line...

Ren Hikigane: This door is locked from the other side, someone help!

Kaze looked at the door control on the far wall, and noted on his radar that Ren was right behind it. He fired a smart missile at it from afar, and it manoeuvered around the obstacles in it's path before destroying the wall control. The door opened as part of the security system, and Ren dashed inside, guns ablaze. The unmanned AC whirled around, or at least tried to, from the onslaught of machine gun fire, but it was too late, as Kaze walked out from behind the pillar and blew it away with a bazooka shot. Ren and Kaze locked eyes for a minute before walking through separate doors, knowing that if they stayed together, they would only get in each other's way...

Zora: This is Alpha Shock...Enemy sighted!...Wa....

Niyura was enraged as he burst through the door, powering up Overboost. Those things thought they could kill his brother?! There was a wave of static on the line, and Zora reported that his AC was retreating. Niyura breathed a sigh of relief, but rounded the corner, this wouldn't be easy...

Virtua: I'm at Sector X-00, The enemy is converging here, I need a hand!

Kaze and Ren got the same idea, and quickly dashed through the doors around the corridor, trying to find a way into the area where Virtua was. Kaze looked to his side and saw a massive hole in the wall, leading down into an empty elevator shaft.
"As good a chance as any." He thought as his Ac fell downwards, landing with a thud on the floor below. Suddenly the elevator collapsed, and Kaze was trapped one floor lower than he had intended. Out of options, he walked through the passage into another room...

Niyura: This is Danger Zone, I'm with Earth Hammer, and the target is closing fast.

Ren looked down the path and saw a set of crumbling ramps leading downwards.
"Must be the emergency exit." He said as he floated down the ramp quickly, narrowly avoiding autogun fire from the ceiling. He fired a pulse cannon shot at the gun battery and it exploded, but the rocking motion caused the ceiling to collapse and take the ramps with it. Ren floated safely into the air as he watched the path underneath him collapse, and he let himself drop to the floor below, and sail throught the door.

Niyura: The target has arrived...What?!...AHH...

Kaze put on a boost of speed as his radar told him that Danger Zone was down. He rounded a corner and came face to face with another unmanned AC. Out of options, but almost out of ammo, Kaze rushed forward and began unleashing his bazooka fire...

Virtua: I need help! This guy is tough! Err...

Ren kicked on his Overboost as he roared around the corner and dashed down the immesurably long corridor. He saw a door at the end, but to his dismay, it was locked. There was a small beeping noise behind him, and he turned just in time to see a bomb detonate on the ceiling and walls, and trap him!

Kaze-Jin: This is Ghost Phase...I'm out of ammo...retreating.

Virtua: Err...Ren...help me!

"I can't!" Ren shouted into his communications system, but there was a burst of static over the other line.

Virtua: Teo...how...could you...

Another flash of static went through the line, and Virtua was gone. Ren looked up helplessly at the enormous looming door, and noticed that it had opened. Unsure what to do, he opened it and looked inside for a moment before actually entering. There was no sign of the enemy, but he saw three smouldering AC's in the middle of the ground. Ren was enraged as he looked around madly for the intruder who was able to destroy four Ravens like that, but he didn't see anyone. Until he heard the signal coming through the line...

UNKOWN: WR-1220...AC IDENTIFIED...INITIATING WEAPON MODE WRL-BX-S192

Ren whirled around and saw another AC just behind him, pointing a massive bazooka at his AC. Ren stared in shock for a moment, but then noticed something about this AC.

UNKNOWN: CITIZENSHIP LEVEL: RAVEN...CITIZENSHIP NUMBER: BR-3020-4871...IDENTIFIED AS RIJIN HIROSHI HIKIGANE.

Teotihuaca'n: Rijin?...

Ren gasped at the message that had just flashed up on his screen. He thought the AC looked familliar, but he never thought...
"Teo?" Rijin managed weakly...


[i]I guess I really shouldn't have been surprised, when Teo left, I knew that nothing would bring him back, but at the same time...nothing would be able to kill him. That day he crossed into a world we had never dreamed of seeing, he left nothing to indicate that he was missed, or even cared. One thing's for sure, though, he did have a legend, and despite this, he never seemed to mind having people worship him, like a god of the era of Armored Core, but still, he had something we never did, and never seemed to accept the fact that he had a gift...he used to say something...

Whatever...that's what he used to call it...

Whatever...[/i]

[center][size=4][b]Chapter 1
The Rave[/center][/size][/b]

Ren looked around the dark garage area, the place was pitch black, and there were small mechanical noises that occasionally interrupted the noise from the restless crowd below. Ren looked down at his AC, Spitfire, on which he was currently standng. He looked up at the control panel in front of him, and the guy who wasa working next to him. The two men flashed each other the thumbs up, and Ren pressed a red button on the panel.

Six columns of fire immediately exploded all around his AC, and the crowd jumped back in surprise, then Ren pressed another button, and strobe lights began to go off in all directions. Ren pressed the third button, and several hatches opened up around and above the crowd, and pumping techno music erupted from the sound system. The crowd cheered for a few seconds, then began to dance as one giant group to the music. Ren, looking very pleased with himself, walked off his AC onto the garage's suspended balcony, and from there walked into the back room where all of the AC repairs took place. He looked around, and saw several AC's some of them were sparking, others were missing limbs, and some just had badly dinged up paint jobs and such. Ren crossed his arms and shut the door behind him, and all the music was cut out, the door had been soundproofed. Ren took a step down, when suddenly the music started again, and Ren turned and saw Teotihuaca'n standing there behind him.

"W's'up?" Ren asked automatically, this had become his major response to everything.
"Nothing much." Teo replied, this too, had become one of his automatic responses. The two looked at each other uneasily for a moment, before Teo walked down and leaned on the railing. Ren kneeled down and stared at the AC's below.
"Isn't that one yours?" He asked, poining at a massive black and white AC with a camouflaged paint job. It had a few chunks torn out of it, and the paint job had been dinged up pretty badly.
"Yep...that's Whatever..." Teo replied, he seemed scared about something.
"Something the matter? You haven't talked much since you got back from..." Ren cut off, Teo had just taken a sharp breath.
"Don't talk to me about that." Teo replied quietly, he looked back at his AC, and then bean to walk towards it. Ren followed suit, and the two men got into the cockpit. Ren looked at the unusual controls, the two stick controls seemed to be bent to the sides, and they were both extremely heavy. Teo seemed to control the AC out of his own strength more than anything. Teo clicked a few buttons, and a large screen popped up in front of them.

>PLAYBACK RECORDING Y/N

Teo pressed another button, and there was a massive explosion that mad Ren jump. He saw that Teo was watching a playback from his last mission, but Ren had no idea where he was. Whatever was fighting against another unit in a bright blue room, and the other unit was...definetely not an AC. Ren watched as Whatever proceeded to fire at the other unit, which was surprisingly fast and agile.

IBIS: Scanning target...

Ren looked at Teo, who continued to watch, as though transfixed. Whatever seemed to be winning the fight, but the enemy unit seemed to be acting strangely, moving about erratically.

IBIS: Target scan in progress...adapting systems...

Teo gripped the arms of the cockpit chair hard, he seemed to be expecting something. Ren watched the battle in slight surprise. Despite she superiority of the other unit, Whatever seemed to be winning. There was another explosion and the camera shuddered slightly as Whatever took a large hit.

IBIS: Target scan...complete...

Whatever backed up as fast as it could, and took a few final shots at the enemy. It backed up against the wall, and suddenly everything stopped. Ren noticed, for the first time, that there was another massive computer at the far side of the room in which the two were fighting.

IBIS: Confirmation check...

Ren stared for a moment, since the enemy didn't seem to be moving. Teo looked strangely quizzical.

IBIS: Disconnecting...Reverting to safe mode...Main system shutdown...

There was another explosion and Ren jumped. Both the computer and the other unit exploded at the same time. The glass wall that had been protecting the computer shattered, and glass sprayed everywhere as the computer sparked and made small explosions. The unit was now lying on the ground, smouldering.

IBIS: XA-26483...My function is complete...Raven...

IBIS: The rest is up to you...

Ren stared for a moment, then the screen cut out entirely and only the voice was coming through. It was garbled and heavily saturated with static, but the message got through.

Emma: Raven...can you hear me?...

Emma: Raven...please copy...over...

Teo got up slowly and began to step out of the AC, he now seemed oblivious to Ren's presence, and walked out of the garage without another word. Ren stared at him as he left, what was all that about?
"HEY!" He called at long last. Teo stopped and turned around just as he was about to open the exit door.
"You showed me that tape, now I could use a little explantion!" Ren stared at Teo with anger. Teo looked at him for a moment, then walked back down to his AC.
"I'm not sure I understand it myself...but I think it wanted me to do something..." He said, and Ren looked at him.
"I think it wants me to...explore outside the corporate areas."
"You mean out THERE?! That's crazy! No one's made it back from that place!" Ren yelled, Teo ignored him.
"I've made it this far, so what's another few missions, eh?" He said, then walked off. Ren watched him go, what was he planning to do? Where was he going to go?

[i]He was my best friend...even if he was a little hard to understand...
Maybe he saw something that we couldn't see, and maybe he seemed to be trying to do something that only he could do, but I think he at least ought to ask for help. I mean...after watching that tape, I was stunned that he never told anyone about it. What was he trying to achieve? Glory? Power? Answers?

This world is shrouded in mystery...and it makes me sick...[/i]

RYU: Now integrating....AC data acquired....

RYU: Target identified...IBIS data link established...

RYU: Human test subject link established...now integrating test subject with AI program...

Teotihuaca'n: Sorry, Ren, but it's for the best...

RYU: Integration complete...program installed in AC...now establishing link with test subject...

Teotihuaca'n: LINK ESTABLISHED...

Teotihuaca'n: ALL PROGRAMS FULLY FUNCTIONAL...AI INEGRATION WITH TEST SUBJECT...COMPLETE...

[terra]

Hm.

To be honest, as a person with not much of an AC background, it was really hard for me to follow the story. This is probably because of the immense number of characters, added with the skipping around of time between the prologue and the first chapter. We're introduced to so many people, in so short a time, without much of a description of who they are, even if we see their AC.

I did really like the sense of action you maintained in the first section, though, which I guess owes some of its strength to the number of people involved. The mission felt very rushed, busy, and violent, the way I'd picture a real mission to feel. I thought you did a really good job of setting up that atmosphere.

It was pretty well-written, I think; my biggest problem is that I really can't understand the story very well. It's probably really clear in your head, and maybe it gets clearer in later chapters, but I think right now you're running the risk of alienating the reader kind of early because it's hard to get into the story.

There were a few minor punctuation/grammar problems, but overall there was not much of a problem in that department :p. Like I said before, I think that it's easy to see that you're a good writer with a sense of where you're going ... you just need to let the rest of us know where you're going, too. :)

[Wondershot]

Well, the story does move around quite a bit, but the time will no longer skip around so much now, and yes, things will start to clear up as I explain some of the characters...
You probably don't have to understand AC very much to get the story, though. The idea is, normally a storyline from an AC game has a plot, but no essential characters. We don't really learn much about anyone in any AC game, aside from maybe tidbits about their history or personality, that don't really have much of an impact as part of the story. Therefore, I introduced so many people at once because we probably won't learn much more about them other than their AC's and maybe a paragraph's worth of other details. Even in the games, we know nothing about the main character, and everyone just calls him "Raven". Since he's you, his history is limited only to your imagination.
So...the characters aren't your main point of concern for a story like this, there will be a lot of action, as you saw, and that is the basis of a story following the AC plotline.
Things will definetely clear up, though, so to all who read this stay tuned for more!

[size=3][b][center]Chapter 2
Good Times[/size][/b][/center]

YOU HAVE NEW MAIL

Ren paused while checking his garage status. A new mail? No one had sent him a mail since the last time he had taken a mission, which was for almost a month. There were no new request for Ravens since Teo had gone on his last mission. He opened the mail folder.

SENDER: Jira
SUBJECT: Duel

Ren opened the mail and looked at the message. The sender had a very odd emblem indeed. It consisted of four squares, inside the squares were a sword, a shield, a lightning bolt, and a drop of liquid. In the background there was another strange symbol, but then the message popped up.

Jira: I hear you are a pretty good pilot, so I'm coming to you with a formal request.
I want to have a match with you, one on one, and I want it to be at Archive Area.
I don't want to fight in the Arena because I am related to someone who was recently stripped of his title as a Raven. If I go to the Arena, I may end up being questioned about his whereabouts, and I would prefer to avoid that.
To that end, I'll meet you at Archive Area in a few hours, if you have the guts. Oh, and let's make it 100000 credits to the winner.

Ren stared at the message for a few minutes, rereading and checking the pilot's emblem a few times over. He also noticed tiny writing in each of the squares, and under the square with the liquid drop was written "Jira" in tiny writing. Ren looked at the message again. 100000 credits? He wasn't even aware that other pilots had that kind of money. Ren himself had bagged a good 300000, but he was ranked second best in Arena! This Jira had never even entered! Ren thought to himself for a minute. This guy is an enigma, he thought, if he didn't know what he was up against, it could be dangerous. On the other hand, Ren was a very capable pilot, and had faced the unknown before.
"I think you shoud try it."
Ren wheeled and faced Teo, who was standing right behind him. Before he could say another word, Teo began talking again.
"You're even better than me, you know that. So whoever this is should be no problem."
"But you're the top ranked Arena competitior! How am I better than you?" Teo stared at him for a moment, an almost deadened look in his eyes.
"I've been around longer than you, that's all, someday you'll fight me and win." Teo looked at his feet, as htough extremely preoccupied. Ren looked up.
"Yeah sure, I'll give it a shot. It's just a friendly match, right?" Teo looked up, giving Ren a penetrating stare. Ren looked back down at his screen, and hit "Accept Mission." The match was on...

OPERATION CODE: Backyard Rumble
CLIENT NAME: Jira
LOCATION: Archive Area
START TIME: 15:50
ESTIMATED SUCCESS RATE: 18%
RECCOMMEND RAVEN RANK: S

Ren Hikigane: Okay, I'm here...

Spitfire floated slowly along the sandy path into Archive Area, a sandy desert with several rocks and crashed spacecraft littered the area, and apparently it was known for hazardrous magnetic storms. The operations border closed around him, and he scanned the area fervently for Jira. He looked to the side and saw an immense sandstorm coming. He moved forward and sent another signal outwards.

Ren Hikigane: Hey, where are you?

The storm closed in on the operations border, and Ren lost radar visuals. The Archive Area sometimes had magnetic storms like this, which reduced visibility and destroyed radar visuals for long periods of time. He was now relying entirely on sight. Suddenly a message came in.

Jira: This is Imago, do you copy?

Spitfire rotated slowly on it's base and looked to it's side. Standing there was a large bright lavender-white AC, with heavy legs and missile arms standing to his left. Jira was on board.

Ren Hikigane: Hey, shouldn't we wait until the storm clears?

Jira: No big deal, just makes it more challenging.

Ren looked at the AC, it didn't look to tough despite heavy armor. this guy seemed very sure of himself...

Ren Hikigane: Ok...lets go!

The two AC's dashed away from each other, and the sandstorm his Imago from sight. Ren dashed up to try and get a better view, when a cannon shot came booming from the ground, narrowly missing him. He moved to the side and scanned the area for Imago, when a trio of missiles came soaring in from behind. Ren dodged them, but when he looked down Imago was no longer there. He heard another loud bang, and another cannon shot came rushing at him. He dodged it, but then another shot, a laser, came pelting from out of nowhere. Spitfire tried to move, but it struck his arm, costing him some life. Ren looked back, but Imago wasn't there either. Suddenly a laser shot hit him in the back, and he lost even more life. He dashed up into the air again, and this time a missile salvo came from above, which he barely managed to dodge. Ren then became dimly aware that something didn't seem right, there were too many shots coming from too many places. Imago was a heavy AC, and didn't look to fast. How was he landing all these shots? He barely had time to think, as another cannon shot came from behind him. He moved out of the way, right into the path of another shot. Ren was rocked in his AC, and he looked around feverishly. How was Jira doing this? He couldn't see anything because of radar interference, and he still hadn't locked on once! Spitfire turned around, and his FCS locked onto something!
"I've got you!" Ren shouted to himself, and began unleashing his machine gun fire, but the target moved out of range.
"Dang..." suddenly another missile swarm came from right above his head, and he moved out of the way, when a cannon shot hit him in the back.
"No...no...this isn't right..." Ren said to himself, he whirled and caught a glimpse of Imago again, but then he moved out of range. Just as he began to wonder when this would end, the magnetic storm cleared up, and he checked his radar.
"What...?!" Ren checked again, according to radar, there wasn't one AC in the area, there were three! He looked to his computer data screen.

AC'S Imago, Hydrophobia, and Cannon Wake Identified

Jira: So...you lasted much longer than we thought...

Zora: Well...that doesn't matter, you won't last any longer.

Niyura: This isn't about a match, it's about your life!

Ren backed off, this whole thing was a trap?! A light blue AC lunged out from behind a rock and prepared to slash Ren with it's blade...
Suddenly a bazooka shot came out from behind Ren and blew Hydrophobia's blade off. Both pilots seemed equally stunned, and Ren wheeled to face the source.

Zora: Another one?!

AC Whatever Identified

Teotihuaca'n: You call this a match?

"Teo!" Ren called out inside his cockpit, then noticed with some surprise that he had forgotten to open the public channel.

Ren Hikigane: Teo! You...

Teotihuaca'n: Wanted to see how you were doing...I thought something was up when he asked you to go to Archive Area, since few pilots go there...

Zora: This isn't going as planned! What should we do?!

Jira: They're still outnumbered! We can take em!

Imago luned forward and fired a missile swarm at Teo, who jumped out of the way with ease.

Teotihuaca'n: Come on, I'm not that slow...

Whatever sailed into the air and fired it's twin bazookas with great accuracy, knocking off Imago's laser cannon. The third AC, a sandy yellow unit, came pelting out and fired it's twin grenades at Teo. the shots looked like sure hits, but a small shot came out of nowhere and pierced them both, causing them to explode. Ren looked over, and saw a large red reverse-jointed AC standing on top of the fallen spacecraft.

Kizurojia: Thought you might like some help.

AC Magma Identified

Niyura: Big brother! There's another one!

Jira: Shut up! Now we're all even! Let's finish em!

Magma dashed high into the air from the ship, and began firing sniper rifle shots down at Imago, who avoided one, but his leg was hit by the other. The bullet ripped right through the AC's leg, owing to it's high caliber. Imago dashed back and fired a missile swarm, which Magma easily avoided, when three more missiles just barely missed him. Magma whirled and looked down at Cannon Wake, who was sitting there. A hail of bullets came raining dowm on the offending Cannon Wake, supplied by Spitfire, who had taken the opportunity to move out of the way and circle behind the AC.
"Can't take it, can you?!" Ren shouted gleefully as Cannon Wake Overboosted out of the area. He turned his attention to Imago, who was currently tied up with Whatever. The two exchanged blows, but the more skilled Teo seemed to be gaining the upper hand. Ren overboosted past them both, and unleashed a storm of bullets at Imago. The AC now looked badly damaged, and had begun to retreat. Suddenly a number of bomblets rained down on Ren from above, and he dashed away, Hydrophobia in hot pursuit. The two of them circled around a rock, and when Spitfire rounded the corner, Hydrophobia chased after him, and ran straight into the bazooka shots fired by Whatever. The immensity of the shots caused the AC to topple over, and it lay there, incapacitated.

Zora: AUUGH!

Niyura: Zora's down! What now?!

Jira: Keep fighting! They can't have much left!

Magma was still high in the air, and was effortlessly dodging Cannon Wake's slow firing grenades, and continued to pelt him with sniper shots. He moved out of the way of another triple missile swarm, and he was hit in the back with a shot from Imago's cannon.

Kizurojia: No!

The AC dropped like a stone to the ground, and the impact shock caused one of it's legs to buckle and break, bringing the AC to the ground, incapacitated. Imago looked triumphant, when a swarm of bullets came from behind him, and he turned to face Spitfire. Imago tried to fire a few missiles, but Spitfire flew into the sky and avoided them. Imago fired two cannon shots, which the very quick Spitfire avoided effortlessly. Spitfire rained even more bullets down on Imago, who finally faltered and fell to the ground, incapacitated. Ren looked triumphant for a moment, when two grenades crashed into the underside of his floating legs, causing them to cease. Ren's AC hit the ground hard, and Ren felt an incredible jolt as his AC smashed into the ground, causing a small crater and a larger dust cloud. Ren looked up and saw Cannon Wake standing there, cannons pointing at Spitfire's core.

Ren Hikigane: We...spared...your brothers...lives...

Niyura: Makes no difference, now you die.

Cannon Wake loomed over Spitfire, when suddenly there were two large explosions, and Cannon Wake turned just in time to watch his arms get blown off by bazooka shots. There was a third bang, and the AC's head was blown off with a grenade. The force was so incredible that the AC flew backwards and what was left of it's head smashed into a rock. The AC fell to the ground, and Ren saw Whatever, bazookas still smoking.

Teotihuaca'n: You okay?

Ren Hikigane: Yeah, Let's help Kizu.

Spitfire, by some miracle, managed to get it's hover legs back online, and the two AC's helped the fallen Magma back to it's feet, and carried it back with them. The three beaten brothers still lay on the ground, unable to get their AC's back online.

Niyura: You'll pay for this!

Zora: Who do you think you are, anyway?!

Jira: This is the END of you! You mess with us, you mess with our other two brothers!

The three victors stopped, and turned around at this last statment. Jira fully expected them to be fearful, and was instead shocked and infuriated by their response:

Ren Hikigane/Kizurojia/Teotihuaca'n: Whatever.

[i]Teo was a great guy, even if he was a little paranoid. He kept his cool in battle, and never really told us how he felt afterwards. He never seemed too interested in live combat, but his spirits picked up again soon enough.
His last mission seemed to take a lot out of him, and even though I saw that tape, I never really understood what it meant until it was too late, and Teo had gone....
Still, I wonder what might have happened if someone else had taken that mission, instead of Teo...