Carr Posted October 10, 2003 Share Posted October 10, 2003 Hey0 all. Another poem by me, hope you like it! [color=indigo] [size=1] Bumblebees Embarrassments and bumblebees stinging hurting still, sitting high above the world, in the blowing bitter chill. A hornets nest in the wind will never survive a day in the blistering gusts of self-insult: one's conscience can be gray. Just as yellow jackets flying far to escape the change in season, incompetencies go the distance ambitions land without reason. These striped honey-hunters seek out the sweet in life, but however big the garden, good intent cannot relieve the strife. Honeybees and disappointments seem to go hand in hand, So whenever you see these furry flyers, try to see color in this land.[/size] [/color] I like this, but I suppose it has a lot more meaning to me than anyone reading it. I guess that is good though, because I write it for me, not anyone else. Anyway, What do you think? I really want to know. I'm just saying that it would be cool if you liked it, but I won't be crushed by insults. It will help get what I am really trying to say out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quicksilverus Posted October 12, 2003 Share Posted October 12, 2003 I thought the poem was really cool, and well written! I've never looked at bees that way before. good job. :D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carr Posted October 16, 2003 Author Share Posted October 16, 2003 [size=1] Coolies, Quicksilverus. Thanks for the compliement, but I've been thinking about the poem and I really don't think the two last lines fit. What do y'all think about these insted?[/size] [color=blue] Honeybees and disappointments seem to go hand in hand,[/color] [color=tomato] but when you see these furry fliers, try not to let your woe expand. [/color] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kittie Posted October 16, 2003 Share Posted October 16, 2003 [color=silver] i thought your poem was quite interesting... i think the last two lines are fine one should never tinker with poems too much...starts to take away the emotion that is in it... [/color] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carr Posted October 22, 2003 Author Share Posted October 22, 2003 Here's another one, just cuz I like it! [color=red] [size=1] Red bush out side my window reminder of red fall. The stripes on my sweatshirt and the blanket on my wall! A bright orange banana, my annoying alarm clock. Poetry of the Pied Piper and the French Gusapo's rock! Special green ice cream jokes funny and obscure, a hopeless homcoming and comic books for sure! Black and burnt turnups. growing from my back: awesome sights within my dreams. If only they'd stay on track![/size] [/color] It has some inside jokes in in, sorry. I still think it is funny/happy. My first "happy poem"! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sara Posted October 22, 2003 Share Posted October 22, 2003 [QUOTE][i]Originally posted by Carr [/i] [B] My first "happy poem"! [/B][/QUOTE] [FONT=arial]...Dave would be proud. Or accuse you of having too much ice cream, but, you know... I'm hoping I'm not supposed to be in on a lot of those jokes, because I missed quite a few, heh.[/FONT] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maikiratori Posted October 23, 2003 Share Posted October 23, 2003 I really like the poems... they're great. I love they way they are written... I want some icecream!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carr Posted November 18, 2003 Author Share Posted November 18, 2003 *cough cough* New Poem! [color=tomato] [size=1] Feeling so much yet not at all. Holding all up, I cannot fall. My world shivers with every breath. Doubt of my mind quelling the jest. Quivering as my knees buckle, bending with pressure: a chuckle. The weight on my shoulders like lead, my path changes deeper my tred. Beauty and talent me may fail. People I loved left in my trail. I cannot to anything cling. Knowledge I thought does not true ring.[/size] [/color] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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