Writing Land after Death.

[Vicky]

[CENTER][B][I]Land After death[/B][/I][/CENTER]

[B]

I know a land,
In the palm of God?s hand,
It?s over the hills,
Do you know this Land?

I?ve been there,
Without a care,
I wanted to say
Have you been there?

It?s a beautiful place,
For every race,
It?s unique,
Isn?t it a beautiful place?

I wanted to stay,
Every day,
In this place beyond,
Won?t you stay?

God made this heaven,
In a few days maybe seven,
He?s so amazing,
Did he make this heaven?

Is it after or before,
I?m really not sure,
After or before,
The dreaded Death?

I wish I stayed,
Stayed and Played,
Around with winged ones,
Why didn?t I stay?

I know now,
I know how,
It was God?s word,
He said:
?The world needs you, my son.?[/B]

[Bio]

[font=arial].I really liked some parts of the poem, like:

Was it after of before?
I'm really not sure,
After or before,
The dreaded Death?

Just for the sake of critiqueing, it should be: In a few days, maybe seven, not: In a few days maybe seven. Yea, it's small, and for all I know it was simply a typing error, but this was basically to give my post body. ^_^ By the way, in the stanza, The dreaded Death, did you mean to capitalize Death? I think it could work either way.

Keep up the good work. I'd like to see more.[/font]

[Vicky]

[SIZE=1][I]I dunno if it was a mistake...but it looks good like that.What I'm doing now, is I'm gonna stop with these kind and do the ones I normally do. I have them in 'My poems' thread.[/SIZE][/I]