Writing Just a silly poem I thought I'd share

[Break]

[size=1][color=CC0000]I was just bored last week so I decided to just write this poem. It doesn't have lines, but I guess I can still call it a poem anyway. Tell me if it's okay ^^

[i]Wasting a day creating my own gales by waving a hand in the air. Watching the sunlight glint over the surfaces of the tears left by yesterday's storm. A perfect day to forget about last night. A perfect time to relax against a tired stone and watch the sea above blocked out by withered trees, naked and thin. Every gentle breeze is another step towards happiness as the day comes to an end with one final change to darkness. I watched the stars slowly crawl from blankets and blink with tiredness. As I stand up the whole world whirls around me and I find myself again. Muffled voices cry out and confused footsteps flitter past. My feet walk, weighted and broken towards the moon and I'll find my soul here; later I'll find myself again at daybreak. The birds break a silence with a song filled with sorrow that I have heard before. Another day. Another space of time filled with sunlight spilling from the blue cover above. Another day where the warmth takes me in its arms and gently puts me back next to the rock. A day when again my eyes will close to the sound of a distant soul. Another day when I?ll hope the distant one finds the place where I rest.. Another like me.[/i][/size][/color]

[Dagger]

I really enjoyed this. For some reason, reading it gave me the same feeling that I usually experience when reading song lyrics. The language is beautiful and evokes strong emotions.

I'm not sure if I would categorize your poem as.... well, as a poem. It's not quite prose, but I'd have an easier time accepting it as poetry it were broken up into stanzas or lines. However, I think that the paragraph format works perfectly with what you've written, and also helps it flow. So please don't change a thing. ^__^

Overall, wonderful work. If this is what you're capable of when you're bored, I can't even imagine how amazing your other poems or stories must be.

~Dagger~

[PiroMunkie]

[size=1]o_O

It reminds me a lot of the 'Untitled' track on [i]Sing the Sorrow[/i]. Very well done. I like it. =)[/size]

[Tommy Vercetti]

[size=1] Hey I really like this, you have used a lot of cool language in this and also it has feeling to it which is always a good thing. Creates an image in my head when I read it. Its amazing how you can just come up with something like that when you are bored, wish I could do that. [/size]

[Mitch]

[QUOTE][i]Originally posted by PiroMunkie [/i]
[B][size=1]o_O

It reminds me a lot of the 'Untitled' track on [i]Sing the Sorrow[/i]. Very well done. I like it. =)[/size] [/B][/QUOTE]

[size=1] Actually, the song isn't untitled. If you look in the booklet that comes along with the CD, it's on the last page. It is called "This Time Imperfect."

Hah. I feel so cool to say that to Piro, teh AFI MASTER.

Eh, anyways, it also reminds me of this song--mellow, driveling, incessant. It works pretty well, but it feels more like a paragraph than anything; I've just become so used to stanzas and stuff, heh.

So yes...it was good. Like a sigh. And like a sigh, it didn't affect me to much, but it was a pretty nice ride.[/size]