Blackittenus Posted October 18, 2003 Share Posted October 18, 2003 watched you wanted you captured you held you close not close enough drifting into a mist Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blackittenus Posted October 18, 2003 Author Share Posted October 18, 2003 small prick sharp pain suprising shock sheer ecstacy smuldering heat such lust silver kiss Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blackittenus Posted October 18, 2003 Author Share Posted October 18, 2003 can you guess now what it means.... what's a silver kiss? Describe it for yourself. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AzureWolf Posted October 18, 2003 Share Posted October 18, 2003 When some computer hardware isn't working the right way, and you punch it. The rest of the feelings are a result of the metal in your blood. Am I right? ;) My only recommendation is to get rid of the "a" in the four word line, and everything should be peachy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Skyechild91 Posted October 18, 2003 Share Posted October 18, 2003 ::bonks Azure Wolf:: NO dork! Its about wanting someone, getting them, then drifting apart! Or is it a dream.. anywhoo, stop dubble posting and evrithing is good to go! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dagger Posted October 19, 2003 Share Posted October 19, 2003 I once read a book called "The Silver Kiss" (well, something to that effect), so the first thing that comes to mind is vampiric love.... Or maybe that's not what your poem's about. >_> I agree with AzureWolf's suggestion. "Drifting into mist" flows far better than "drifting into a mist." Besides, that really enhances the assonance of "drift" and "mist." Also, it's "smoldering," not "smuldering," and "surprising," not "suprising." ~Dagger~ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blackittenus Posted November 28, 2003 Author Share Posted November 28, 2003 hehehe sorry, I was typing too fast, I always forget to check spelling. It's always about me getting down what I feel. ~the first ones about a guy i let get away even though I loved him, I still haven't been able to find him ~the second ones about blood lust (P.S. Dagger, I think I read that book too, I love vampires) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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