Jump to content
OtakuBoards

more funniez from ZF!

ZF SSA Goten

By ZF SSA Goten,
in General Discussion

 Share

Recommended Posts

ZF SSA Goten Member

ZF SSA Goten

Posted
Posted
you may have noticed that this is my 4th topic with a lot of text. i have typed these all up before, i'm just copying and pasting them.

50 WAYS TO CONFUSE, WORRY, OR JUST SCARE THE BEJEEZUS OUT OF PEOPLE IN THE COMPUTER LAB

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------


Log on, wait a sec, then get a frightened look on your face and scream "Oh my God! They've found me!" and bolt.

Laugh uncontrollably for about 3 minutes & then suddenly stop and look suspiciously at everyone who looks at you.

When your computer is turned off, complain to the monitor on duty that you
can't get the damn thing to work. After he/she's turned it on, wait 5 minutes,turn it off again, & repeat the process for a good half hour.


Type frantically, often stopping to look at the person next to you evilly.


Before anyone else is in the lab, connect each computer to different screen than the one it's set up with.

Write a program that plays the "Smurfs" theme song and play it at the highest volume possible over & over again.

Work normally for a while. Suddenly look amazingly startled by something on the screen and crawl underneath the desk.

Ask the person next to you if they know how to tap into top-secret Pentagon files.

Use Interactive Send to make passes at people you don't know.

Make a small ritual sacrifice to the computer before you turn it on.

Bring a chainsaw, but don't use it. If anyone asks why you have it, say "Just in case..." mysteriously.

Type on VAX for a while. Suddenly start cursing for 3 minutes at everything bad about your life. Then stop and continue typing.

Enter the lab, undress, and start staring at other people as if they're crazy while typing.

Light candles in a pentagram around your terminal before starting.

Ask around for a spare disk. Offer $2. Keep asking until someone agrees. Then, pull a disk out of your fly and say, "Oops, I forgot."

Every time you press Return and there is processing time required, pray "Ohpleaseohpleaseohpleaseohplease," and scream "YES!" when it finishes.

"DISK FIGHT!!!"

Start making out with the person at the terminal next to you (It helps if you know them, but this is also a great way to make new friends).

Put a straw in your mouth and put your hands in your pockets. Type by hitting the keys with the straw.

If you're sitting in a swivel chair, spin around singing "The Lion Sleeps Tonight" whenever there is processing time required.

Draw a pictue of a woman (or man) on a piece of paper, tape it to your monitor. Try to seduce it. Act like it hates you and then complain loudly that women (men) are worthless.

Try to stick a Ninetendo cartridge into the 3 1/2 disc drive, when it doesn't work, get the supervisor.

When you are on an IBM, and when you turn it on, ask loudly where the smiling Apple face is when you turn on one of those.

Print out the complete works of Shakespeare, then when its all done (two days later) say that all you wanted was one line.

Sit and stare at the screen, biting your nails noisely. After doing this for a while, spit them out at the feet of the person next to you.

Stare at the screen, grind your teeth, stop, look at the person next to you. Grinds some more. Repeat procedure, making sure you never provoke the person enough to let them blow up, as this releases tension, and it is far more effective to let them linger.

If you have long hair, take a typing break, look for split ends, cut them and deposit them on your neighbor's keyboard as you leave.

Put a large, gold-framed portrait of the British Royal Family on your desk and loudly proclaim that it inspires you.

Come to the lab wearing several layers of socks. Remove shoes and place them of top of the monitor. Remove socks layer by layer and drape them around the monitor. Exclaim sudden haiku about the aesthetic beauty of cotton on plastic.

Take the keyboard and sit under the computer. Type up your paper like this. Then go to the lab supervisor and complain about the bad working conditions.

Laugh hysterically, shout "You will all perish in flames!!!" and continue working.

Bring som dry ice & make it look like your computer is smoking.

Assign a musical note to every key (ie. the Delete key is A Flat, the B key is F sharp, etc.). Whenever you hit a key, hum its note loudly. Write an entire pape this way.

Attempt to eat your computer's mouse.

Borrow someone else's keyboard by reaching over, saying "Excuse me, mind if I borrow this for a sec?", unplugging the keyboard & taking it.

Bring in a bunch of magnets and have fun.

When doing calculations, pull out an abacus and say that sometimes the old ways are best.

Play Pong for hours on the most powerful computer in the lab.

Make a loud noise of hitting the same key over and over again until you see that your neighbor is noticing (You can hit the space bar so your fill isn't affected). Then look at your neighbor's keyboard. Hit his/her delete key several times, erasing an entire word. While you do this, ask: "Does *your* delete key work?" Shake your head, and resume hitting the space bar on your keyboard. Keep doing this until you've deleted about a page of your neighbor's document. Then, suddenly exclaim: "Well, whaddya know? I've been hitting the space bar this whole time. No wonder it wasn't deleting! Ha!" Print out your document and leave.

Remove your disk from the drive and hide it. Go to the lab monitor and complain that your computer ate your disk. (For special effects, put some Elmer's Glue on or around the disk drive. Claim that the computer is drooling.)

Stare at the person's next to your's screen, look really puzzled, burst out laughing, and say "You did that?" loudly. Keep laughing,grab your stuff and leave, howling as you go.

Point at the screen. Chant in a made up language while making elaborate hand gestures for a minute or two. Press return or the mouse, then leap back and yell "COVEEEEERRRRRR!" peek up from under the table, walk back to the computer and say. "Oh, good. It worked this time," and calmly start to type again.

Keep looking at invisible bugs and trying to swat them.

See who's online. Send a total stranger a talk request. Talk to them like you've known them all your lives. Hangup before they get a chance to figure out you're a total stranger.

Bring an small tape player with a tape of really absurd sound effects. Pretend it's the computer and look really lost.

Pull out a pencil. Start writing on the screen. Complain that the lead doesn't work.

Come into the computer lab wearing several endangered species of flowers in your hair. Smile incessantly. Type a sentence, then laugh happily, exclaim "You're such a marvel!!", and kiss the screen. Repeat this after every sentence. As your ecstasy mounts, also hug the keyboard. Finally, hug your neighbor, then the computer assistant, and walk out.

Run into the computer lab, shout "Armageddon is here!!!!!", then calmly sit down and begin to type.

Quietly walk into the computer lab with a Black and Decker chainsaw, rev that baby up, and then walk up to the nearest person and say, "Give me that computer or you'll be feeding my pet crocodile for the next week".

Two words: Tesla Coil.
Link to comment
Share on other sites
ZF SSA Goten Member

ZF SSA Goten

Posted
  • Author
Posted
my sick and twisted head...
here's a kind of sick one:

An 8 year old boy walks home from school each day past an 8 year old girls house. One day as he is passing by, carrying a football, he can't resist taunting the girl. He holds up the football and says,
"See this football? Football is a boys game, and only boys can have a football!".

The little girl runs into the house and cries to her mother, "I want a football!" Being a woman of the 90's, her mother runs out and gets her one. The next day the girl is waiting for the little boy and he rides up on his bike.

She holds up the football... "Nah Na Nah Nah".

The little boy angrily points to his bike and says,
"Oh yeah, well this is a boys bike and only boys get boys bikes and you can't have one!"

She runs in to mom and the next day is waiting for him on her new boys bike.

The little boy gets furious and pulls down his pants, and pointing to his most private of parts says,
"Look, only boys have these and your mom can't buy you one!!!".

The next day he walks by and says to her,
"Well, I guess I showed you!" to which she promptly pulls up her dress, points to her parts and proclaims "My mother tells me that as long as I have one of these I can have as many of THOSE as I want!
Link to comment
Share on other sites
~Mystical Pan~ Otaku

~Mystical Pan~

Posted
Posted
[QUOTE][i]Originally posted by ZF SSA Goten [/i]
[B]my sick and twisted head...
here's a kind of sick one:

An 8 year old boy walks home from school each day past an 8 year old girls house. One day as he is passing by, carrying a football, he can't resist taunting the girl. He holds up the football and says,
"See this football? Football is a boys game, and only boys can have a football!".

The little girl runs into the house and cries to her mother, "I want a football!" Being a woman of the 90's, her mother runs out and gets her one. The next day the girl is waiting for the little boy and he rides up on his bike.

She holds up the football... "Nah Na Nah Nah".

The little boy angrily points to his bike and says,
"Oh yeah, well this is a boys bike and only boys get boys bikes and you can't have one!"

She runs in to mom and the next day is waiting for him on her new boys bike.

The little boy gets furious and pulls down his pants, and pointing to his most private of parts says,
"Look, only boys have these and your mom can't buy you one!!!".

The next day he walks by and says to her,
"Well, I guess I showed you!" to which she promptly pulls up her dress, points to her parts and proclaims "My mother tells me that as long as I have one of these I can have as many of THOSE as I want! [/B][/QUOTE]




AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH THAT'S SICK!

BUT D*MN..IT'S FUNNY! :laugh: lol
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Guest Tec-9

Guest Tec-9

Posted
Posted
LMFAO!!!! i think i've heard of that one before... but it still cracks me up.. lol.....

i'm gonna try it in my computers class..
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Will2x Otaku

Will2x

Posted
Posted
[QUOTE][i]Originally posted by ~Mystical Pan~ [/i]
[B]


NO! perv! :D lol

well..when I gewt drunk..who knows? lol j/k

AH MAN! now peeps are going to think i'm a slut! lol

I'M A VIRGIN PEOPLE OK!

See what you did Will? lol [/B][/QUOTE]

GASP! this is a shocker!
Link to comment
Share on other sites
~Mystical Pan~ Otaku

~Mystical Pan~

Posted
Posted
[QUOTE][i]Originally posted by ZF SSA Goten [/i]
[B]well, it's just at our school no one uses the term "virgin". by the time you reach middle school you're already a father.....to your sisters son. damn i hate my hick town.
[/B][/QUOTE]

ACK! how old are you anyway? Sis's son? Incesest! <--SP? EEEEEEWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Link to comment
Share on other sites
ZF SSA Goten Member

ZF SSA Goten

Posted
  • Author
Posted
[QUOTE][i]Originally posted by ~Mystical Pan~ [/i]
[B]

ACK! how old are you anyway? Sis's son? Incesest! <--SP? EEEEEEWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!! [/B][/QUOTE]

i am 15, but i am still a virgin. luckly i am an only child. :D :D


and for Dragonballzman, no i didn't get them from lotsodjokes.com
Link to comment
Share on other sites
conpiracymonki Senior Otaku

conpiracymonki

Posted
Posted
[b]Yup, LotsOfJokes are pretty cool,..looky here:

Little Leroy went to his mother demanding a new bicycle. His mother decided that he should take a look at himself and the way he acts. She said, "Well Leroy, it isn't Christmas and we don't have the money to just go out and buy you anything you want. So why don't you write a letter to Jesus and pray for one instead." After his temper tantrum his mother sent him to his room. He finally sat down to write a letter to Jesus.

[i]Dear Jesus,
I've been a good boy this year and would appreciate a new bicycle.

Your Friend,
Leroy[/i]

Now, Leroy knew that Jesus really knew what kind of boy he was (brat), so he ripped up the letter and decided to give it another try.

[i]Dear Jesus,
I've been an OK boy this year and I want a new bicycle.

Your Truly,
Leroy[/i]

Well, Leroy knew this wasn't totally honest, so he tore it up and tried again.

[i]Dear Jesus,
I've thought about being a good boy this year and can I have a bicycle?

Leroy[/i]

Well, Leroy looked deep down in his heart, which by the way was what his mother really wanted. He knew he had been terrible and was deserving of almost nothing. He crumpled up the letter, threw it in the trash can and went running outside. He aimlessly wandered about depressed because of the way he treated his parents and really considered his actions. He finally found himself in front of a Catholic Church. Leroy went inside and knelt down, looking around not knowing what he should really do. Leroy finally got up and began to walk out the door and was looking at all the statues. All of a sudden he grabbed a small one and ran out the door. He went home, hid it under his bed and wrote this letter.

[i]Jesus,
I've got your mama. If you ever want to see her again, give me a bike!

Sincerely,
You know who[/i][/b]
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
 Share
Go to topic listing
×
×
  • Create New...