Letting go...

[Zidargh]

[color=silver]Over the past two years I noticed changes in my social life, especially revolving around one of known for years. It was easy to cope with at first, but when exclusion and blanking out was being put towards me, it began to hurt.

I could've taken it open mindedly with change or home life issues but that could not excuse this behaviour. It seemed I was pretty the only one who served no purpose towards them. He then began to take advantage of this. In all fairness, issues at home with him did occur recently but many people have experienced with, and I'm the only one out of 'the group' who has experience with these situations.

I really didn't understand what I hadn't got that others had, so I began to get so desperate I found I could only get a simple reaction by being a major annoyance. This was a terrible choice, but desperation has it's downfalls. Nowadays, I recently have came to a stop and thought, 'What kind of friend would do that?' so I have decided to let him go.

However, it's so hard to see one who does not speak his mind enjoy the company of others and not let you take part. And It's only today I thought I should take action. I know I'm not the only one in these situations but I was wondering if any of you can relate to what I feel, or give advice.

It doesn't even have to be about friends in a sense, possibly family, but let's hope for the best.
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[Mitch]

[size=1] This post is so vague that I don't even have much to say. You come off us uncaring yourself, being so vague and smudgy as you are with your words. So thus these leads you with less to say, less focus, and me less to post.

There isn't a big deal here, which you'll eventually realize. You act like it's you and some long-lasting mate you've had breaking up. (Maybe it is? I cannot tell, you are so vague). You'll eventually look back on it, as with all things blown out of squeeze, and realize that it was stupid to make such a big deal about it.

There are 6,000,000,000 people on this Earth. Live with it; one of those has to be a good friend.

Plus there's other people that always have it worse than you. You just don't have the right to feel so bad, like the world's ending, like it's all crumbling when even you yourself have it easier than most.

My family has moved about 7 times in all. I've had friends. I've lost them.

I have it worse than you, don't I? At least friend-wise.

When it comes down to it, do I even care that you lost a friend, or whatever? No, I do not. If you want to ***** at something, ***** at yourself.

Not me. Not OB. And not in such a vague, self-handing way.[/size]

[Sara]

[font=arial]*absently* Mitch, be polite.

It's hard when you realize you're no longer friends with someone whom you used to be, and it hurts when you see that they get along just fine with other people...but not you.

I think the best thing you can do is, like you said, let go. If you're ready to do that, you should. I think the longer you hold on to a failed relationship, hoping it will somehow get better, the more you're going to hurt in the long run. If you think you can let go...well, you should. I guess it's the "healthiest" thing you can do.

Hope things look brighter for you. [/font]

[Mitch]

[size=1] I was just dramatizing things like he did. Really, I understand, but someday he'll look back at it and not even care.[/size]

[Baron Samedi]

I appreciate that you were dramatizing Mitch but. Ouch >.<

You hit him unreasonably hard in my opinion. Heh.

Now, to the matter at hand; I had an extremely difficult time understanding that. You seem to be writing in a "no-person view" and seem to be missing many words. You miss about two or three words every two sentences, making a very big mess for my limited brain to sort through.

It hurts when your friends ignore you, or when they decide not to like you. But you need to get past it. it happens. Just view it like this: If they are ignoring you, they don't [i]deserve[/i] your time or patience.

Also, maybe to be kind to future perusers of this thread, edit your initial post, and fix the problems. I am not quite sure if you are having friend troubles, or organising an expedition to Pluto.

:p

Baron.

[stardust]

Yea,I know how you feel. I can't let go of anything. Or anyone. Like my boyfriend that broke up with me about a month ago-I can't let go of him. Of course maybe it's different,but I miss his company more than I miss him because I like him.

I know one day you're gonna look back and not care, but I stopped living for "someday" awhile ago...just because no matter what it's still going to hurt you.

But I have a friend I was close to last year, and we don't really talk anymore,but now it doesn't hurt because I met knew people and got busy with other things.

[Fyxe]

[SIZE=1][COLOR=darkblue]It happens. I've had it happen to me. So many people have had it happen to them. You really need to just let go. I had a good friend last year, but I guess this year she was to good for me. She never talks to me any more, even if she does... I'll tell you it's nothing possitive. But yes, it really hurt for awhile. I was like a person walking aroung without a soul for about two days. But over that weekend, I realized... that perhaps it was for the best. I just didn't, really, care any more. I let it go, after alot of thinking, I decided... if I wasn't good enough for her time, the she wasn't good enough for mine.
It may hurt alot for some time, but you learn to let it go. If I can, you can, anyone can. Remember, you have other friends, they can get you through just about everything. That's one thing they are there for, that one friend may be gone, but your others arn't.
I hope that helps. ^_^

--Conna--[/COLOR][/SIZE]

[eleanor]

[size=1] Eh...friends will come and go. Good friends will just stay.

I've never really had a good friend in my whole life, so I don't think I can say anything....=_=. You'll just have to accept the fact that some friends don't care to be your friends anymore, and that there are more people that can be your friend.[/size]

[Bishie]

[color=crimson]This first part of my post will probably be vague as heck and make no sense whatsoever lol but anyways..

I had a friend once, we were best of friends for about half a year or so..then she just got bored with me. She started hanging around other people and ignoring me, i felt rejected and hurt. Everytime we were together we'd fight terribly and in the process she said some extremely hurtful things. But as i valued her as a friend i just couldnt see that letting go would be easier on my feelings, despite how many times she'd told me to just "stop speaking to her"
But believe me, it gets easier as time goes by. I don't speak to her anymore yet im sure she knows i wish her the best of luck for the future, sometimes its better to leave on a peaceful note than to cling to something desperatly..it just doesn't work.

But what maladjusted said previously. Good friends [b]do[/b] stay. I have had a certain set of friends for about 4 years now *grins at braidless baka* ^_^ and we've seen some rocky parts and we've been through alot together. We don't talk as much as i'd like anymore..but thats because they're in england and im now in the US. We all know we're growing up and things are changing, and it really does hurt sometimes..and its depressing how we wont ever have the friendship we used to have, because time and distance wedge a void in-between. But we're still the best of friends and we still all keep in touch with one another. Those are the best kind of friends to have..ones that are there for you through out time. And trust me, once you find friends like that..they dont just go away ^_^ [/color]

[Break]

[size=1][color=CC0000]Chris, you'll be fine. People still talk to you at school and outside, not like they're completely rejecting you. I think they think you're a bit weird when you act weird and roll around the floor and stuff.. I don't know.

I guess you just have to 'let go', because without change, you will not grow up at all. Change is important for life, as much as I ******* hate it, lol. [/size][/color]

[island gurl]

You find out who your real friends are. Even good friends are sometimes not your friends forever. This doesn't mean that they don't like you, or want to be with you or whatever it just means that they would like to take a different direction in their life. The best thing is just to be friendly and keep open to being friends with everyone because you never know what kind of friendship will develop and while it's hard to let go of old friends, soetimes it's for the best. Of course some friends will stay your friends for the rest of your life and that is something special. You should make the effort to always keep in touch with people. I don't know if any of this made sense. I'm probably being vague too but I just write as the thoughts come into my head.

[John]

Yes, to agree with everyone else, as is one of my (many) annoying tendencies, and to crank in as many commas in one sentence as possible, I'd have to agree with everyone else in that you should just bite the bullet and move on. It's happened to me, it's happened to a lot of people. You may find it hard, but just take it logically: [i]why[/i] would you still want him around? He disses on you, tries to ignore you, and you still persist? Just [B]don't.[/B] Whenever it happens to me, I simply ignore them right back, and stop caring about anything that has any effect on them. They haven't really given me any reason to, anyway. Now, if I [i]have[/i] misinterpereted this entire post, then you should just give up on that expedition. Pluto is much further away than it looks, y'know. :p

[Heaven's Cloud]

[color=indigo]It doesn?t seem that the true issue here is whether or not your friend was a true friend, it seems like the real issue is whether or not you and you friend grew apart or if he is no longer your friend because of your short comings. You said that you had become desperate and that only by being an annoyance could you even illicit responses from your ?friend?. I think that you don?t have to let your friend go, he already let you go. I guess you have to decide whether it was because you no longer share the same interests, or whether he felt that your characteristics didn?t fit into the group that he wanted to be part of.

I know that either way it makes your friend seem a bit callous, but your friend made his decision already. The real question is do you want to assimilate to fit into his crowd. I never really believed in the whole ?be yourself? hoob-a-joop that everyone tells teenagers. Your attitude and mentality change so frequently and so drastically when you are that age that it is good to be a part of a group. Now I know it sounds like I am saying that you should be something you are not so you can conform, but I do think that you may want to take some time and evaluate your personal traits and try and figure out if there is something about yourself that you could change for the better?that might not make any sense, but if it does then good luck.
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[Japan]

I moved a lot over the years, and I go through it all the time. Like, my best friend ever since I was 7. We were so very tight, but, nowadays, with her being in Kansas and I in Washington. We've grown apart. It really hurts. She isn't the only one though. I've had several friends that I thought were good friends. When I moved away to a different country, or a different state, we stop talking to eachother and then that friendship is lost. I had to go through the same process not to long ago. My good friend, who was a French exchange student, spent the school year at my house. We were really great friends. Now that he is back in his own country, he stopped writing emails and calling. I am afraid that he is not wanting to call because his English is getting worse and also because of the war of Iraq. I don't want to lose him as a friend and just forget him. Letting go hurts. I know that for a fact. I had to let go several times already. After time, I think that letting go makes you a stronger person. It also helps form you into a person who will abled to sympathize with a person going through it for the first time. Letting go of past friendships is just way of life. You'll just have to keep your chin up and hope for the best, I guess. ^_^