Kyo no Ryu Posted October 26, 2003 Share Posted October 26, 2003 If Im an Eternal_Otaku does it last through death? Eternity is a long time but is it eternity if your dead? if you dont know your an otaku can you be one? for eternity? through death? if I loose interest will my life be in debt? for promising eternity and going back on my bet? I made a promise I signed an oath that anime would always be what I prased most so when i die did I lie? in the face of satin if i liyed do I go to H*ll or heaven? Itsan unfair choice if Im dead and had to rest my head eternally in bed otaku through death? Ill find out then weather I went back on my promise again Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Baron Samedi Posted October 26, 2003 Share Posted October 26, 2003 Thats nice. Some stuff is... not so good, but generally, i like it. It is.. kind of haunting. a good job and nice subject. Well done. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kyo no Ryu Posted October 26, 2003 Author Share Posted October 26, 2003 thank you, its my first one I did by choice, maybe ill make more... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kittie Posted October 26, 2003 Share Posted October 26, 2003 [color=silver] Some grammatical errors...but other than that...nice poem... Definitely interesting subject matter...[/color] :wave: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kyo no Ryu Posted October 26, 2003 Author Share Posted October 26, 2003 Thank you. As said it was my very first so its not all that but Im getting into this now Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Annie Posted October 26, 2003 Share Posted October 26, 2003 [color=teal][font=times new roman][b]Yes, very good subject. I like it because it makes you wonder. I would go back and edit the grammar^^[/color][/b][/font] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maikiratori Posted October 26, 2003 Share Posted October 26, 2003 Very good imagry...I like poems with imagry! Keep it up!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vicky Posted October 26, 2003 Share Posted October 26, 2003 [SIZE=1][I]I liked the poem, it's ok in certain ways. I write poems that are alot longer, and too me it was too short for my taste, but length isn't everything. The words were put together ok, but it could be a bit better in grammer and stuff. It was a great poem though, keep it up![/SIZE][/I] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KarmaOfChaos Posted October 26, 2003 Share Posted October 26, 2003 [font=arial][color=deeppink] Ooh, I [i]like[/i] it. Very intresting and unique. The theme rocks. Quite thought-provoking, the idea that if you die, it's not eternity, I never thought of eternity ending because of death. Good job! You should definatly try writing more. Oh, and thanks for reviewing my poem! And vicky...you spelled grammar wrong. ^-~ -Karma {PS: Your grammar isn't that bad, just needs a little touch up. Get someone to edit for you. And try breaking your poems into stanzas, it will make the poem flow a lot better. ^-^} [/color][/font] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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