Writing My Poetry

[Kanariya]

Okay, this is the first time I actually had started a thread about poetry I make, so send comments please. Tell me what I need to work on.

[COLOR=skyblue]~*Grow Up*~[/COLOR]

[COLOR=royalblue]I used to be a baby not all alone,
Playing and laughing not caring what others think,
I was happy but weak and needed to be strong,
I needed to learn and do no wrong.
But in life you were needed to make mistakes,
To do what is right and what is wrong,
Part of being a person, time to grow up.

Then I went to school, learned to do things,
Becoming smart as I went along,
Then next thing I was graduating, crying my eyes out,
Thinking I have grown up.

But I still make mistakes and do some things wrong,
I am not as playful and joyous as I was used to be,
The world isn't completely good, nor evil.
In the middle.

Next thing I'll know I'll be 95,
Lay on my bed thinking I'm gonna die,
And remember the memories I have had,
Remembering the best and the worst.
But it'll also come to my mind,
The friends, the family I have.
I would wait a little longer to join my dead loved ones,
Looking down upon me, seeing my happy.
Remembering the old days and the things I once had,
And remember growing up slowly, but at the same time, fast.[/color]

[Kyo no Ryu]

hmmm, pretty good. I was enjoying the first 2 stanzas but things got weird afterward. Overall it was pretty good. Confusing grammer 1st line 4th stanza.