Writing Mountains of Pain - Stacy's Grandma

[TheShinje]

Please critique my Stacy's Mom song parody.

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Stacy's grandma's got it goin on
Stacy's grandma's got it going on...

Stacy can I come over, after scho-o-ool (after school)
I know I'm just a big dropout, but it's coo-ool (it is cool)
Did you granda get back, from her bingo trip? (bingo trip)
It think she is so hot, she is the hit(she is the hit)

You know I've like her since I can't remember and I know youre all laughing
but I don't care I love her, and that's how it's gotta be...


Stacys grandma's got it going on,
I think she really hot when the knitting show is on.
Stacy can't you see, your grandmas hot for me.
I know there's something wrong with me
I'm in love with stacy's grandmom


Stacy's grandma's got it goin on
Stacy's grandma's got it goin on....


Stacy do you remember American pie? (american pie)
your grandma came, as a chapperone (chapperone)
I could tell she digged me from the way she stared(at the screen)
And by the way she said, "fetch me a coke I'm thirsty," (Thirsty)

And I know you think I'm crazy becuse she is 70
and since your grandad died two years ago, I know that she is free.

Stacy's grandmas got it goin on,
I wish I had her phone number so we could get it on,
stacy can't you see, your grandma's a hot chicky
I know you will not understand
and think it's not a normal crush.

Stacy's grandma's got it going on.....

[KarmaOfChaos]

[color=deeppink]
Ahahahha...Shinji, that was beautiful.

Absolutely beautiful.

In a sick, demented sort of way.

Try working the rhyming a little more, and it shall be perfect. Good job! (It's nice to see a bit of humour amongst all this angsty, depressing poetry. lol.)

-Karma
[/color]

[Hittokiri Zero]

Uh it's kinda gimpy at parts =\ try playing the real song while your rewording this and i'm sure it'll come out better =].

[Chichiri's Girl]

That was a pretty good parody. I loved the lines that go "I could tell she digged me from the way she stared(at the screen)
And by the way she said, "fetch me a coke I'm thirsty," (Thirsty)

And I know you think I'm crazy becuse she is 70
and since your grandad died two years ago, I know that she is free"
Yeah those made me grin. It would be better if some parts ymed better but over all keep up the good work.