Writing OtakuBoards: Enter the Net [PG]

[Wondershot]

Well...If I was in this I would be either Kevin Winnicot from Xenosaga, (myOtaku avatar) or an AC (my banner/avatar). I really like the way the story is going, and I am in favour of PoisonTongue's idea to sticky this.

[Annie]

[color=indigo][size=1][i]No!! Not the n00bs!!! I'm still trying to recover...*sobs softly*

I will pledge my allegiance to the Adventure Arena and help all in the destruction of the terrible force of n00bs. I have vengeance..Oooh yes, that I do.

I am loving this Solo! Is it possible for me to help you all out? If so, please give me a PM or contact me on [b]AIM: GoddessUnluck[/b].

[center][b]~Annie~[/b][/center][/color][/size][/i]

[Guest Heezay]

Solo, this story is great! Even though in a newbie myself.. I wish you could somehow find a way to put me into the story for a quick cameo.

[Solo Tremaine]

[COLOR=#503F86]Well, here's the next part of the story ^_^ It was (and still is, really) intended as a Christmas special, but because of my phoneline problems I couldn't get online to put it up. But now I am, hehe.

With regards to help- I may well approach people for random ideas, but generally they tend to be rather spur-of-the-moment things. Needless to say, there's quite a way to go yet before finishing.

I will try to include everyone who has requested to be included in some way, but if I don't please don't take it personally. It can be quite difficult to get people in who I don't know that well to make sure I actually have them in the right situation or whatever. It sounds odd, but I'm a picky writer, heh.

Anyway, on with the fic!

Disclaimer: This isn't entirely accurate in its representation, I know. It's just meant to be fun ^_^

[b]Chapter 4: The OtakuBoards Nativity[/b]

The stage curtains at the front of the OtakuBoards Movies, Music and TV forum stood majestically in the dim lights, the audience before them settling into their comfy seats awaiting the start of the Christmas production.

The orchestra pit stood much less majestically underneath the front of the stage, lit by little but a dim yellow light-bulb. A massive collection of CDs covered all available work-surfaces inside, a troop of plushies making sure the ones needed for the performance were all in the right places. Wrist Cutter took his place on the conductor?s podium and grabbed his playlist of J-Pop artists. Raising a flashy black baton with a flourish, he pointed at a plushie to his lower-left. It shoved the CD into the player and L?Arc~En~Ciel began booming through the amplifiers on either side of the stage. The curtains swung open, revealing Mini-Ken in a jet-black tuxedo and a mad grin.

?Welcome to the OtakuBoards Nativity.? He said politely, tugging at the sleeves of his tux. He cleared his throat and took a deep breath. ?Long ago," he boomed, "when the net was almost young-ish, a Founder known as Adam existed.?

He moved to stage-right, holding his arm out in a theatrical gesture to a new scene appearing behind him. The spotlight fell onto Mini-Adam, working away furiously at a computer.

?The Founder had a website, and it was Absolute Game Boy.?

Adam turned to the audience and waved cheerily. ?I want this website to be the best in the world, so that people from everywhere can marvel at my work and be happy in the knowledge they receive,? he beamed before turning back to the computer. After a few seconds, he sighed and fell back in his chair.

?But it?s lacking something. I need more than just a GameBoy site??

?Coo-ee!?

Another plushie entered opposite Ken- Mini-Justin. He skipped over to Adam and they performed a little dance before staring at the computer screen together, taking turns with the keyboard.

?The Founder?s website married with that of Justin Blessing?s, and in this marriage was conceived the idea of The Site.?

A third plushie head poked around the corner- Mini-James gave the audience a big grin and wandered over to where Adam and Justin were sitting.

?With Justin brought James, a Nintendo enthusiast and internet journalist. He met with The Founder and they were very happy, even sharing the same birthday. They saw it as a sign.?

The computer suddenly catapulted off the stage to be replaced by a Double Dash!! Kart falling from the curtain above. They jumped on- the scenery behind them changed to moving landscapes covered in infamous gaming and anime characters.
The Kart bounced merrily along the stage and the three of them burst into song.

Three little gaming fans are we
From Plok to Final Fantasy
Filled our brains with gaming glee-[I]ee[/I]
Three little gaming fans!

Everything is a source of fun
No console safe- we?re number one
Life is a game that?s just begun
Three little gaming fans!

Three gaming fans who all unwary
Go to the net that?s big and scary
Play with mischievous gaming ware-y
Three little gaming fans!
Three little gaming fans!

ADAM: One little fan has a site- Adam
JAMES AND JUSTIN: Two gaming fans with ideas had ?em
ALL: Three gaming fans here when you add ?em
Three little gaming fans!

From three gaming fans take one away
Two little fans remain to play
Double Dash is years away
Three little gaming fans!
Three little gaming fans!

Three little gaming fans who have no care-ies
Grab websites by the big and hairies
Want to make revolutionaries
Three little gaming fans!
Three little gaming fans!

After rapturous applause, Mini-Ken took centre stage again, the Kart bouncing around in circles behind him. ?And so, in an odd marriage betwixt the three, they began their venture into the Internet to create a website that would truly be the king of all websites to all who would think it to be so when it were to be made.?

Confused looks shot through the audience like a rocket-powered brick. Mini-Ken smiled and continued with his narration.

?But, eager as they were, they did not know where to start. They thought and travelled for days on end, every day becoming more exhausted.?

The Kart?s tyres burst, showering the audience with rubber. Mini-Adam collapsed at the wheel asleep, a huge snot bubble billowing form his nose. While James and Justin set about repairing the broken Kart, everything began to fade to black except Adam, whose spotlight shone a bright white.

?Adam?? three female voices chorused. Quiet piano music played dreamily in the background.

He sat up and looked around, his eyes wide with fear. ?Justin??

?Adam?? the voices called again, sounding ever-so-slightly impatient.

?Justin??

[I]?Do we sound male??[/I] the voices barked back. Adam shrank back into the driver?s seat, looking around him nervously.

A golden light billowed from behind him. He turned around to see three plushie angels floating gracefully in the air.

Ken pointed at the angels, smiling triumphantly. ?Three angels came to visit Adam in his dream and gave him an inspiration.?

?Who are you?? he asked nervously.

?We are your Angels, Adam,? Mini-BabyGirl, Mini-Asuka and Mini-Lady Macaiodh chorused. The piano music changed to a choral symphony. In the orchestra pit, Wrist Cutter's head nodded rhythmically to the sounds of Porno Graffiti pumping through his headphones on a separate mp3 player.

?Oh, wow.?

They folded their arms sternly. ?Don?t think you?re getting more than advice from us yet, Mister!? they scolded. ?Technically we don?t know you yet.?

Adam scratched his head. ?But what-?

Mini-Lady M clicked her fingers and a television popped up in front of her. She grabbed it and placed it in front of Adam. He stared at it for a few seconds, then murmured ?Evangelion.?

Mini-Asuka floated down next to him. ?What do you think??

?I don?t understand?? he murmured, pressing his index fingers together submissively.

Mini-BabyGirl perched herself on top of the TV. ?You do want to make a website, don?t you??

Adam nodded, becoming more engrossed in the action on-screen.

?[I]Well[/I], why not-?

?Shh, I?ve not seen this episode yet!? Adam hissed.

The angels folded their arms impatiently. Nodding to one another, they produced large gold staves from behind their wings and thwapped Adam over the head with them with a resounding ?clang?. The TV disappeared in a puff of smoke and Adam sat rubbing a massive and sudden growth on his head, his eyes huge and watery with pain.

?Make an anime website, Adam!? Mini-Lady M called as the three angels started gracefully returning to the bright clouds in the sky.

?And give it forums!? Mini-Asuka yelled back, barely visible behind a blinding yellow light.

Blackout.

Mini-Adam woke with a start, jumping up and knocking the Kart into reverse gear and running over Mini-Justin and James.

?I have it!? he exclaimed.

?And so he had it,? Mini-Ken continued. ?Adam led Justin and James on a perilous journey to the city of Server, where he would be able to build his website and bring joy to millions all around the world. But for others, conflict was stirring...?

The scene changed to a big evil dark castle, flashes of lightning illuminating an equally dark and evil backdrop. In front of the castle stood a shadowy figure with glowing red eyes.

??an owner of an already flourishing anime site heard of Adam?s journey and issued a decree-? Mini-Ken said gravely, lowering his head.

?FIND THIS ADAM AND HACK HIM TO PIECES! I WILL HAVE NO ANIME SITE GREATER THAN MINE!? the dark figure roared to two of his subservients- a plushie Shinji and Gendo Ikari. They nodded and grinned evilly, thunder, lightning and gale-force winds rocking the scenery on stage. Mini-Ken grabbed hold of the curtain for dear life and did his best to face the audience.

?Meanwhile, in Server??

The wind suddenly stopped and everything fell to the ground with thuds, crashes and screams. J-Pop songs rang cheerily from the speakers. Mini-Adam, James and Justin were reading property brochures underneath a gigantic sign reading ?Server?.

?How about this one?? James asked.

Adam shook his head. ?Too expensive.?

?This?? Justin prodded another page, which promptly opened a hyperlink and spilled pop-up windows all over the stage.

?Too many ads.? Adam spluttered, pulling an eBay sign out of his ear.

?Well, why don?t we just look around? There?s bound to be some room at a free house until we can find something more long-term.? James suggested, smashing the windows with a Donkey Kong hammer.

The others nodded and they began to walk. Soon enough, they came to a Website Hosting House. They knocked on the door and a burly man appeared.

?Wot??

?Erm, we?d like to start an account here, if that?s alright? with?? Adam?s voice trailed off as the burly man appeared to loom over him.

?We ain?t got no room!? the man barked. He spun on his heel and slammed the door in their faces.

?Let?s try another one then??

Mini-Ken held up a Word Document that read ?6 Hours Later??

The three plushies heaved themselves along the stage towards another door. Justin raised a weak hand and tapped on the large wooden doors. It opened slowly and two people wearing rubber face-masks greeted them with a rubber face-mask smiles.

?Can we help u 3?? the first one asked.

?Yes, can we help u?? repeated the second.

?I?m going to give birth- I mean, I have a website I want to put up. Can I start an account here?? Adam sighed, clutching an Internet Explorer window labelled [url]www.theOtaku.com.[/url]

The two men looked at each other for a second, then their slightly unsettling smiles stretched even further.

?Right this way.? They chorused.

Adam, James and Justin were led to a rather kitsch-looking stable with hay covering the floor and wooden walls. A manger and three chairs were already set up for them.

?It?s very basic at the moment, but it?s only v1.? The first rubber-masked person said, showing them around. In the corner of the stable were an Ox (wearing a ?thimoc? nametag) and an Ass (wearing a ?kuja? nametag), who watched the plushies with as little interest as possible.

The second rubber-faced man took a User Agreement Policy out of his pocket and handed it to Adam. ?U like??

Adam thought for a moment, then signed his screen-name and entered in his password, sealing the account as his.

?Thank u!? the two rubber-faced people chorused, exchanging shifty looks. ?If there?s anything else we can get u, let us kno.?

Mini-Ken took centre-stage again, while behind him the three plushies began updating the structure of the stable site. The walls changed from wood to concrete and the hay on the floor disappeared. A big OtakuBoards v2 sign appeared above the doorway on the left as Mini-Charles, Sara and Shy entered, dressed as shepherds. The three wise men (Heaven?s Cloud, Semjaza Azazel and Desbreko) appeared bearing HTML knowledge and exotic graphics from anime series.

Mini-Ken cleared his throat and continued with his narration. ?And so it was that the site grew in popularity, but it was far from complete.? A handful of Spam splattered into his face, Mini-Flash?s insane laugh echoing throughout the wings. Ken wiped it from his face and rolled up his tuxedo sleeves, his teeth growing to vampire-esque lengths.

?And the prejudice of others was avowed to bringing the downfall of the fledgeling site.? He sprinted offstage in the direction of the flying spam, growling. Muffled crashes and yells punctuated the awkward silence that followed.

Eventually, Mini-Adam coughed loudly to regain everyone's attention. He stood back and admired his site as Mini-Shy added the finishing touches to the Outlaw Star section. They both nodded approvingly and turned to face the boards.

Random members with names like I_Liek_Pie0016692204669 hurled spam about the rooms, asking loudly where his avatar had gone. A small group of members had gathered around the thimoc ox, whose nametag now read ?thimoc- President of the Elite Otaku Spamming Team?. More members started piling in through the doors, most of them with bad post quality and even worse spelling.

Suddenly, a burst of flame set alight Sara's hair. Adam moved towards the Newbie with a fire extinguisher and sprayed both it and Sara with foam. She shook it form her and continued drawing Digimon art.

Just as Adam moved to break up another flame match between two Newbies, a gigantic thunderclap shook the building. Everyone froze. Bursting through the wall came the rubber-masked attendants. They gave a shrill laugh and faced Adam menacingly. Sinister music echoed through the hall.

?What do you want?? Adam demanded.

The two ripped the masks from their faces and let out another shrill laugh. It was Gendo and Shinji!

?We want ur website!? they chorused.

?No way!? Adam yelled. ?This website?s mine. And anyway, you need my password before you can do anything.?

Gendo?s eyes narrowed wickedly. ?Oh, but we already have ur password.? He produced the User Agreement policy from his pocket slowly, relishing the look of melodramatic fear on Mini-Adam?s face.

Before he could react, Gendo typed the password into a login page. Shinji grabbed Adam?s arms and held them behind his back, grinning insanely and dribbling.

An AdminRod materialised in Gendo?s hand. He pointed it directly at Adam.

?You won?t get away with this!? Adam yelled.

?ROFLMAO!? Gendo?s piercing laugh sent chills running down every spine in the room. ?I already have, Adam. ACCOUNT DELETION ATTACK!?

A bolt of lightning exploded from the end of the AdminRod, shrieking towards Adam. He disappeared in a puff of smoke, his shoes the only sign that he was ever there.

The OtakuBoards members cowered in the corner, frightened for their accounts. James and Justin swiftly and silently exited the forum and sat by the door outside. Inside, Gendo began making the members pledge eternal allegiance to him and in turn gave them AdminRods. The OtakuBoards v2 sign was ripped down and replaced with a crimson ?GendoBoards? sign, written in Windings font.

?What are we going to do?? James clutched at Justin?s jacket, his eyes wide with worry. ?What?s he done to Adam??

Justin gently pulled James away and thought for a moment. Mechanical cries of ?G3ND0 R0XX0R5!? shook them to the core.

A sly grin spread across Justin?s face. ?I have an idea.?

He sprinted into the forum and knelt before Gendo. ?Gendo, my life will not be complete without serving you! Let me be an Admin!?

The colour drained from Mini-James? face. Justin was a traitor!

Gendo smiled and an AdminRod appeared in Justin?s hand. He glanced behind him and gave James a subtle wink. Standing up and facing Gendo with a look of extreme determination, he raised his AdminRod.

?ULTIMATE BAN BLAST!? he screamed. The tip of the AdminRod sparked wildly for a few seconds (just long enough for Gendo to start having a panic attack), then a colossal beam of blue energy thundered across the stage, completely obliterating Gendo and Shinji.

Justin whirled the AdminRod through his fingers and blew the smoke form the end. James rushed in, laughing with glee. The members all scattered (save for the decent ones), and the smoke gradually faded away.

They looked at Adam?s shoes forlornly. The introduction to X-Japan's 'Tears' played quietly in the background.

?I don?t think anyone will ever be able to fill them.? James said solemnly.

?Hey!?

They turned around. A shoe-less Adam wandered into the front door of the forums, his hair smoking and standing on end.

?Guys, I?ve found a better place to put the Boards. Coming??
The other stood dumbfounded as Adam casually picked up his shoes and put them on. He walked over to the door and turned back to face the Board members.

?Well, do you want to be part of this or not??

Immediately, everyone bundled out of the room, carrying Adam and Justin on their shoulders in triumph. 'Tears' was replaced by 'You get to Burning', and the dark sky backdrop changed to a picture of bright blue skies. As the parade wandered offstage, Mini-Ken stumbled back on, his tuxedo ripped, burnt and splattered with various unpleasant-looking substances.

?And so it was that OtakuBoards v3 was born, with a new strength and greater security options. The sites of the Founder grew in size and popularity?? he gave a sideways glare to Mini-Flash, sitting in the wings with a toothless smile and two black eyes, giving Mini-Ken rude hand gestures.
??and it was cool beans. Goodnight everyone!?

He gave a quick bow and launched himself offstage. Sounds of a desperate battle could be heard above the members? applause. Plushies used by the two warring figures as ballistics flew out of the curtains, in pain but glad to be out of reach of Mini-Ken and Flash. The auditorium began to empty as Queen Asuka ran backstage, Plushiewand in hand to sort out the mess?

Happy belated Christmas and New Year everyone![/COLOR]

[Vicky]

[SIZE=1][B]That's really good! I liked it! It was funny too, and I just love the way it was writen! Great! Nice story there Solo!

I hope you write more soon, because I loved it! =)[/SIZE][/B]

[LastSheikah]

I would love to be in it, but alas, I am but a simple Newbie. (Since when do I talk like that?!) Anyhoo, If I could be in this totally awesome piece of work, I would either be reading in the Poetry, Fan Fiction & Literature forums, rushing through Hyrule Castle in the Zelda forums, (A Wizrobe in Hyrule Castle. Ah, the chaos that would cause :devil: ) or dueling someone in the Yu-Gi-Oh! forum. :D

[DeadSeraphim]

Another outstanding chapter. Describing it as if it was the Birth of a Relgion... wait, that could be a good idea... OtakuBoardians.... I'll get back to you on that one. Anyway Solo, another good one. Hope I can be in the next one... *grins slyly*

[Baron Samedi]

I didn't like the beginning of this one as much. It didn't seem to be as well written. However, as you obviously got more into the swing of it, the story got back into rhythm. Hope to here more of the Boards' history- especially in such an innovative way. Good work here. Can't wait for more chapters.

[Shinmaru]

Heh, I think the long wait was definitely worth it, Solo ^_^

Describing the birth of the boards like the Nativity scene was a stroke of genius, I thought, and made for cool chapter, heh. Plus, the song was absolutely fantastic. Easy to set a tune to and it got stuck in my head, heh. Luckily, I liked the song so that's not big deal lol.

I'm looking forward to the next part ^_^

[Solo Tremaine]

[COLOR=#503F86]Credit for the tune and structure should go to Gilbert and Sullivan- it's a parody of their 'Three Little Maids from School', as in The Mikado. It's a lot easier writing parody songs than original ones, I must say ^_^;[/COLOR]

[Haze]

[color=firebrick][size=1]Solo, that is the best!! I just sat here and read the entire thing. I am amazed at the details that you came up with. I can see exactly what you mean when you describe something. Great work! I think you got a lot of the characters' personalities just right. The only thing that might make it better would be if you added in a bit more description of the characters. I know that you provided a list of who was using which avi, but you also said in the first part of the story that each one was different. Ya' know, there were different colored ones and a lot of them looked kind of different.

That last part was soooo funny! I want a cute little mini-Haze. That would be the best. They seem so adorable. And the fight between mini-Ken and mini-Flash was so cute!

This is probably the best thing I have read in here in a long time. Great Work! I can't wait to see what might happen next.

~Haze[/color][/size]

[Oukan05]

I love it. That was really good. It's almost like the Matrix, but this time,it's Otaku. I enjoy your work Solo. You did a great job; the actions along with the characters was cool. It's like reading a movie. I can just picture it now while reading it.

Enter the Net ROCKS!!! Great work Solo; I bow to you.:bow:

[Circ]

I just [i]can't[/i] believe I managed to [i]miss[/i] this for so long.

Just perfect.

Seriously, am I supposed to think of something better?

Anyway, great writing, lollyful ideas and stories. I'm waiting in a corner to see the next chapter, this time ;)

[Solo Tremaine]

[COLOR=#503F86]Well, I did say I was writing it, and here it is ^_^ I think it's shorter than most of the previous chapters, but I can't really tell. Either way, it's the first of a two-parter, so it probably doesn't matter too much.

Note about l33t translation: I deliberately used it less heavily in the later half of the story because it's hard to read at the best of times, let alone when you're writing dialogue.

I'm still working on those cameos, by the way. More guest appearances in the next chapter, heh.

Enjoy! ^_^

[b]Flame Wars Episode I: The Phantom Spammer[/b]

A long time ago, in a forum far far away? well, actually not so far away. And not so long ago, either.

FLAME WARS
Episode I: The Phantom Spammer

The peaceful members of OtakuBoards enjoyed years of prosperity in their forums, creating intelligent discussion and providing refuge for persecuted anime and gaming fans to discuss their fandom without fear of reprival (unless someone disagreed with their views, that is). But this was not to last.

In a strange twist of fate and reality, the members of OtakuBoards were cast into a virtual world where the rules of their old forums applied less than they had previously- each had to adapt to their new surroundings in their own way. While they revelled in their ability to fully customize themselves at will, a sinister shadow lurked in a dark corner of the Boards, waiting for its moment to strike...

* * *

Midday- High tide for OtakuBoards? forum activity. A record number of 1500 members online at once, the rooms could hardly hold all of the members.

Deep inside its interior, behind a large metal bolted door labelled ?OtakuBoards Moderators? in white New Century Gothic font surrounded by a stylish blue and grey box, the Staff were having a very important and secretive meeting about the amount of room they have left. The details are so vitally confidential, they can?t even be explained in this narrative.

Meanwhile, the numerously populative members of the Boards were doing as they normally do when cast inside a virtual world with no way back home- having fun.

The Adventure Arena was incredibly busy a lot of the time. Everything that happened was logged in threads that appeared on the walls, new replies were marked with small black arrows next to each subject title. If a thread hadn?t been discussed in a while it was pushed over to the far side of the wall next to a door labelled ?Archives?. Once the threads were sent in here they rarely reappeared, save for reference, or if someone was intelligent enough to be able to resurrect it and bring new, interesting discussion to the subject.

Taking part in RPGs was now a much more complicated matter than it used to be. Being in more than one at a time in the same way you could be in 20 on the original, non-Tron boards was incredibly difficult, and as such a new ?Episode? system was developed. Once all the cast were present, they would embark on the adventure for a set amount of time before stopping at a suitable point and being able to leave to go into their next RPG. Members who missed their episode times formed plot holes which threatened to destabilise the fabric of the entire RPG room along with the sanity of the game?s creator as he or she struggled to think of a decent explanation for why the characters were no longer where they should be.

?We had set a time, you know?? Wondershot said in a matter-of-fact way, running his fingers over the head of his AC frame as if hair were still present on his head.

?Im sorry Wondershot,? said a diminutive member with fairly poor grammar skills. ?I dident mean to be late. But there was another RPG that-?

Wondershot sighed; he gritted his teeth and pretended to ignore the lack of apostrophes in the member?s speech. Behind him, Raiha was idly studying the Memberlist to find the most attractive males on the Boards.

He rolled his eyes and then looked at the member as kindly as he could- he wasn?t, after all, a mean or demanding person. ?The system goes: all cast members have to be in an episode unless there?s a written reason why they?re not able to attend. I didn?t have a reason from you.?

?I was asleep.?

?Your character was about to attack the arch villain of the RPG! He just disappeared in the middle of the fight. I had to write in a double for you.? Wondershot continued, beginning to wish he?d been a bit more strict with regards to his recruitment procedures.

The member- a young, oddly-drawn Vegeta ?clenchied his fists. ?it wasn?t my fault!!! I overslept, kay? Jeez, whats the bigdeal??

Wondershot folded his large metal arms in disdain. ?The ?bigdeal? is that when you join these things, you make a commitment that you have to see through to the end. People-? he said emphatically, gesturing to himself ?-get very annoyed if you don?t turn up.?

The Vegeta-member?s face turned a dark red. ?It?s a stupid rpg anyway! Your just an elitist!?

?I?m not an elitist, I just don?t like crap.?

Raiha sighed, closed the Memberlist and flicked her hair extravagantly over her shoulder at the same time. She walked over to the two and coughed politely.

?If you guys remember, we have an RPG to finish.?

* * *

The small ventilation shafts of the Boards were more a plot point than anything else. Since the air current and temperature could be formatted from inside the rooms themselves, there didn?t seem to be any practical use for them at all. But they were built in anyway.

A small creature hopped along the vents, its mis-matched eyes wide with anticipation as it tried to bumble its way through to its master.

It turned a corner and fell silently down a shaft, its legs helplessly flailing in the air.

[I]Plop.[/I]

It landed in a thick, dark green liquid. Kicking itself upright, it wiped some wayward lumps of spam from its face and continued down the tube.

Suddenly, it stopped. A cold chill ran down its spine and everything around it seemed to darken.

?ur 84ck,? a mechanical voice whirred.

The creature jumped round, its eyes widening even further. ?n00b,? it whispered, cowering at the site of the figure standing over it.

?wh@ d1d j00 533??

?n00b-n00b.?

A shrill, piercing laugh echoed throughout the pipes. The dark figure rubbed its metal hands together, his piercing yellow eyes glowing wickedly. ?3xc3ll3n7. 17'2 71m3 70 m4k3 my 4pp34r4nc3...?

* * *

PoisonTongue was bored. He twiddled the end of his Groucho Marx moustache while his mind searched for things to do. He?d already been in the Nintendo forum today- the lack of Shinmaru to try and beat frustrated him. Besides, it was impossible for anyone to play video games all day. Apart from Desbreko, maybe. But he was different.

The Otaku Lounge was a nice, relaxing place to be when it was quiet and the discussion was intelligent. The comfy squishy sofas oozed warmth and cosiness when you sat on them, and the room was well-lit by bright sunlight from above. Plants and flowerbeds were spread around the room tastefully, with a large water-display in the centre of the room. Infrequently someone would fall into it or get pushed in, that was always fun to watch when it happened. It wasn?t deep water, mind. Just enough to warrant a change of socks or whatever piece of clothing was covering the part that happened to get wet.

There were abnormal amounts of members around today. He figured some must be people surfing the internet and browsing the sites. They looked more casual and objective than those he knew for a fact to be sucked into cyberspace. He would berate the ideas of a few less intelligent people, but it wasn?t fun if there was no-one around to watch.

Behind him, Lynx Jokopoko and Boba Fett were having a heated Star Wars debate.

?Obi-Wan Kenobi is the best character. How can you argue with Ewan MacGregor??

Boba Fett pointed to himself. ?Bounty Hunter. Jedi are cool, but they?re bound to the Force. If they misuse it, they become evil. Bounty Hunters can do whatever they want. And the jetpacks look more stylish than brown robes??

His attention logged out of their conversation when he heard a familiar voice nearby. He swivelled his chair round to spot AzureWolf, Mimmi, Ben and OtakuSennen walking along the edge of the room, trying to have a decent chat without being interrupted by borderline spam.

He wandered over to them and gave them a friendly smile of greeting.

?Bedlam in here, isn?t it??

Mimmi nodded. ?Well, it?s not without its charm. It seems very empty when there?s no-one in it.?

?Lots of pants, though.? Azure said idly. Mimmi said nothing, but looked thoughtful.

As they moved over to the Noticeboard, Ben let out a frustrated sigh. ?I?ve still not been voted for Best Female Member yet,? he muttered disdainfully, trying to ignore people who were voting for themselves in every category. He was above that- he was trying to convince [I]everyone else[/I] to vote for him in every single category. It took class to be able to do that.

Suddenly the doors at the end of the forum burst open and a wave of silence tripped over the room. It missed a few members at the far end, who continued posting anime singles adverts on the walls on the forum and giggling, ignoring the happenings behind them.

Agent Smith stood at the door and gave everyone a cold, fake smile.

PoisonTongue was unimpressed. ?Drama queen,? he muttered under his breath.

The Agent Smith looked around- his head movements were unnaturally jerky. It seemed a poor imitation of the character in the film, but still rather unnerving. He didn?t so much walk as float a centimetre or two from the ground like a badly-animated computer game character.

He moved over to the water display in the middle of the room and took a deep, rasping breath, savouring the digital taste of the air.

?1nterest1ng?? he said coldly, snapping of a leaf from one of the plants. It fizzled away in a shower of tiny squares of data, floating up to the high glass ceiling of the Otaku Lounge.

The rest of the members in the Lounge exchanged confused looks. Doukeshi03 took a tentative step towards the Agent Smith.

?Erm? who are you?? she asked.

The Agent Smith slowly turned to face her, a twisted grin spreading over his face.

?Your Worst Nightmare.?

Doukeshi03 looked around. Everyone else looked equally bemused.

?Well, welcome to OtakuBoards, Your Worst Nightmare,? Braidless Baka said cheerily, stepping towards him to shake his hand. ?If you need anyone to show you around, OtakuBot?s at the Information Center, and-?

The Agent Smith rolled his eyes, not that anyone could see underneath his pitch-black sunglasses. Sighing in exasperation, he strode away from Doukeshi and leapt onto a table.

?Citiz3ns of 0takuB0ards!? he yelled. His voice echoed throughout every forum on the boards like a well-pronounced thunderclap, piercing and chilling. ?I hate this place. Th15 z00. Th15 pr150n. Th15 r34lity, wh@ever u w4nt to call 1t, 1 c4n't st4nd 1t 4ny l0ng3r. The t1m3 h4s c0m3 f0r th3 0ld r00lz 2 b d1sm1ss3d! Wh00?5 w1th m3??

?What?? everyone echoed in unison.

?U!? Agent Smith pointed at a Hiei Jaganshi look-a-like next to him. ?U mu5t hate th1s pl4ce.?

Hiei-member thought for a moment, then nodded. ?They dun lik how I spek. im baned if I dun spel rite, but this s me! I dun spel rihtg neway.?

Several other members nodded in agreement. AzureWolf tensed slightly. He didn?t like where this was going.

?Wh@ 4b0ut th3 r3st of u?? Smith yelled again, moving his arm in a gesture that encompasses the rest of the room.

Random members stepped forwards, each with a different reason for hating the Boards.

?They haven?t got a hentai forum!?

?My threads get closed!?

?People ignore my-?

?I LOVEM USHROOM PIZZA!?

The whole room was buzzing with excitement. At least, the part of the room filled with excited people was buzzing with excitement. The rest was watching in apprehension, hoping the Moderators would get here soon.

Agent Smith raised his hands, turning down the volume setting of the noisy members below him.

?Th3n 1t 15 d3c1d3d,? he boomed. ?W3 sh4ll d35tr0y th353 B04rds and cr34t3 a n3w 0rd3r in 0ur 1m4g3!?

The crowd went wild- members cheered, others ran away, Raiha began beating up people who wanted to reduce her post count to zero; it was chaos. Chairs were hurled around the room for no reason, dislodging the threads from the walls and sending posts sprawling over the floor where people stamped and edited them in fits of anarchy.

The doors at the far end burst open and James entered the room, aghast. He was closely followed by the rest of the Forum Leaders, ModRods in hand and ready to strike.

?What the hell is going on here?? James yelled angrily. His piece of Mario Graphic art had had the character?s black moustache and eyebrows taken off, making it look incredibly strange.

?Mr Administrat0r?? Agent Smith sneered.

?My name is James.? James replied, none-too-pleased. ?And I?m the Site Director. What do you want??

?I want wh@ u want.? Agent Smith grinned wickedly, straightening his tie. ?Yes, that's it Mr. Administrat0r. L00k past th3 fl3sh, l00k thr00 th3 soft g3latin of th3s3 dull c0w 3y3s and s33 ur 3n3my.?

Charles raised his hand. ?You?re wearing sunglasses, we can?t see your eyes.?

Agent Smith tensed. ?R3sist4nc3 15 fut1le.?

?PEACH HEAD!? one of the members screamed at Semjaza. Immediately. Semjaza raised his ModRod and frazzled the member, who fainted.

Yells of protest rumbled around the half of the room gathering behind the Agent Smith. The more sensible members of the Boards started moving to behind the Staff team.

?U s33 th31r 0pr3ss10n?? Agent Smith shrieked. ?W3 w1ll no l0ng3r b3 sl4v3s 2 u!?

Members all around threw their fists into the air and cheered. ?We r l33t! We r l33t!?

?Do you h34r that, Mr Administrat0r? 1t 1s th3 s0und of 1n3v1t4b1l1ty. U w1ll f4ll 2 0ur n3w 0rdr.?

?I don?t think so.? James growled.

TO BE CONTINUED?[/COLOR]

[Mimmsicle]

[COLOR=darkred]Solo, I'm [b]loving[/b] my cameo ! [i]*flashes him a big sweet, innocent grin*[/i]

I'm also very, very scared of that Agent Smith O.o
Reading that l33t made me very appreciative of the English language ~_^

You Rock, Solo ^__^

- Mimmi[/COLOR]

[Shinmaru]

[QUOTE][i]Originally posted by Solo Tremaine [/i]
[B][COLOR=#503F86]As they moved over to the Noticeboard, Ben let out a frustrated sigh. ?I?ve still not been voted for Best Female Member yet,? he muttered disdainfully, trying to ignore people who were voting for themselves in every category. He was above that- he was trying to convince [I]everyone else[/I] to vote for him in every single category. It took class to be able to do that.[/COLOR] [/B][/QUOTE]

Haha, that was just awesome. The funniest thing about that is that it's true :p

And what's this - a cliffhanger! Solo, you're evil...you write an enjoyable chapter and now we have to wait to see what happens :(

Hopefully, you won't keep us in suspense for too long ~_^

[Circ]

Loved that part too, even though I don't understand it. Probably because I don't know Ben enough.

Great chapter, and don't worry, you can put all the cliffhanger you wants ;)

[terra]

[quote]?Your Worst Nightmare.?

Doukeshi03 looked around. Everyone else looked equally bemused.

?Well, welcome to OtakuBoards, Your Worst Nightmare,? Braidless Baka said cheerily, stepping towards him to shake his hand.[/quote]

Solo, I think I'm in love with you. :p

Seriously, though, there's nothing to say except keep it coming, and it's awesome so far.

[Brasil]

Solo, you saucy and subtle fellow, you!

[quote]In a strange twist of fate and reality, the members of OtakuBoards were cast into a virtual world where the rules of their old forums applied less than they had previously- each had to adapt to their new surroundings in their own way. While they revelled in their ability to fully customize themselves at will,[/quote]

Now, I'm no genius, but from what I've heard regarding a new edition coming out, members' self-customization options will be increased, and a radical new design will be introduced.

And, I am of the understanding that the usual Moderator Forum discussions are understood to be kept between Mods, but this really sparks my interest in what you're [i]really[/i] talking about,

[quote]Deep inside its interior, behind a large metal bolted door labelled ?OtakuBoards Moderators? in white New Century Gothic font surrounded by a stylish blue and grey box, the Staff were having a very important and secretive meeting about the amount of room they have left. The details are so vitally confidential, they can?t even be explained in this narrative.[/quote]

"Amount of room" could mean how many more members they can fit, true, but it can also refer to the desire for increased server capacity, right? From what James has hinted at, V7 is going to have increased capacity for various options, right?

And this idea is further supported by the extreme emphasis about keeping the recent Mod Forum discussion between Mods, and to not leak information regarding V7.

Also, Solo, you have access to the Mod Forum, as you are a Mod, and it's very interesting that you write, "The details are so vitally confidential, they can?t even be explained in this narrative."

Hmmm...my interest is piqued now. You obviously are aware of certain changes in V7, correct; and you are obviously a very sly, creative and subtle writer. It makes perfect sense for you to tease the "real world" OBers here with hints of V7.

Correct me if I'm wrong, of course, but...my interpretive skills are pretty sharp. ~_^

And I'm loving my part here. I want to lay some smackdowns on those l337 f00l2.

[Guest Heezay]

CLIFFHANGER! Ack!

lol, I loved this chapter, even though it was a little short. Bring the next one out fast as you can. And what does l33t mean? leet?

[Ben]

[QUOTE][i]Originally posted by Solo Tremaine [/i]
[B][COLOR=#503F86]As they moved over to the Noticeboard, Ben let out a frustrated sigh. ?I?ve still not been voted for Best Female Member yet,? he muttered disdainfully, trying to ignore people who were voting for themselves in every category. He was above that- he was trying to convince [I]everyone else[/I] to vote for him in every single category. It took class to be able to do that.[/COLOR] [/B][/QUOTE]

*grins hugely* Heh. I love this part Solo. ^_^ You're doing a [B]fantastic[/B] job. Keep it up. :D

[Vicky]

[B][SIZE=1]That's one good chapter! You better hurry with the rest! I like it a lot it's very, very good! Even though I wasn't in it, I couldn't careless because it's pure genius! Great work, Solo! ^^[/SIZE][/B]

[Kei]

[color=darkblue]I agree that this was a great chapter. As usual, the imagery was off the charts and the dialouge was witty and...well, just plain funny. The only problem I have is that evilness that is the cliffhanger...

Great work, Solo. *awards you a super-gold sticker*

By the way, Heezay, l33t is "leet" typed in L33tspeak, what some call an "elite hacker language." Everyone else calls it annoying as hell.[/color]

[Gavin]

[size=1]Excellent, I actually featured in that chapter although I'm not sure whether it was me or Jokopoko who was speaking to my dear friend Boba Fett I'd personally agree that the Jedi are much better than Bounty Hunters.

I can't believe that I've missed this for so long even though you told me about it repeatedly Solo. The stories that have gone through this so far are a work of art, the nativity scene was brilliant as well as the attack of the "n00bs". I do hope that I'll be able to appear a little more in, but I guess so does everyone. This new chapter looks like it'll be brilliant with an Agent Smith clone attempting to destroy the boards and start his own n00b Order.[/size]

[Solo Tremaine]

[COLOR=#503F86]Wow, thank you everyone -^_^-[/COLOR]
[QUOTE][i]Originally posted by PoisonTongue [/i]
[B]Solo, you saucy and subtle fellow, you!

Now, I'm no genius, but from what I've heard regarding a new edition coming out, members' self-customization options will be increased, and a radical new design will be introduced.

And, I am of the understanding that the usual Moderator Forum discussions are understood to be kept between Mods, but this really sparks my interest in what you're [i]really[/i] talking about,

"Amount of room" could mean how many more members they can fit, true, but it can also refer to the desire for increased server capacity, right? From what James has hinted at, V7 is going to have increased capacity for various options, right?

And this idea is further supported by the extreme emphasis about keeping the recent Mod Forum discussion between Mods, and to not leak information regarding V7.

Also, Solo, you have access to the Mod Forum, as you are a Mod, and it's very interesting that you write, "The details are so vitally confidential, they can?t even be explained in this narrative."

Hmmm...my interest is piqued now. You obviously are aware of certain changes in V7, correct; and you are obviously a very sly, creative and subtle writer. It makes perfect sense for you to tease the "real world" OBers here with hints of V7.

Correct me if I'm wrong, of course, but...my interpretive skills are pretty sharp. ~_^[/B][/QUOTE]
[COLOR=#503F86]I could easily say 'Yes, I took all of this into account when I was writing it'... but then I would be lying to a certain degree.

In a more subconscious way, yes, that bit was written topically. James has loads of things planned for v7- the next few chapters of Enter the Net I've deliberately written to tie in with the change of the site, assuming I can actually write in OB real-time. The confidentiality joke is part of that, certainly, but more spawned from the discussion about 'breaking down the fourth wall' we were having some days ago. Everything else is pretty much as a cause of circumstance- actually [i]living[/i] inside the Boards becomes a lot more crowded than just having people visit it normally, and with overcrowdedness comes flared tempers and such.

But that is a very deep, allegorical interpretation that I didn't notice ^_^

Trivial fact: [spoiler]Most of the Agent Smith lines are actually from the Matrix films, if you look past the l33t.[/spoiler][/COLOR]