Infidelity

[satan665]

Why do you think that men cheat on their wives/girlfriends so often? I am happily in a relationship, and haven't come close to cheating or anything, but I think about it. I can't help it, I walk around campus and see really pretty girls and I want to talk to them. I am attracted to girls that I am friends with and pretty much always have been, there's just a line that I draw where I don't act on any impulses to cheat. I really don't think I'd be happier with some other girl either...its just in my head.

Are all men naturally programmed to "spread their seed" and reproduce with a lot of women so that their genetics pass on? I've heard theories on that sort of thing before.

I think there is an internal conflict in all of us between social morality and instinct. Sometimes these two are in opposition to each other. I don't want to have big crushes on other girls, but I kind of have to accept that it is going to happen and not act on it. It sucks, every guy out there is attracted to other girls but can't ever admit it because girlfriends can't take tat kind of insecurity.

[ChibiHorsewoman]

I'll reply to this if you reply to mine, fair enough? Gods, I feel like I'm on ff.net!
I guess ppl cheat because they just have no sense of honor. I'm no psychologist, but I think that's the real reason. And who needs a person like that?

[COLOR=seagreen]The only thing worse than a man is a cat-especially a cat who thinks you're short changing her when her food dish has crumbs in it[/COLOR]

[terra]

People do claim that evolutionally, guys have that "spread their seed" impulse whereas girls are more domestic and willing to settle down. I don't think I buy into that, but ... it has been said.

Anyway, guys are obviously not the only ones who want to cheat. My boyfriend claims that he never has any desire to cheat on me. I know, he could be lying -- but I have the feeling he's actually being pretty honest. You'll have to trust me on this one, though I suppose I probably wouldn't believe most girls who said that and think they were deluding themselves.

That aside, I think I have the desire to cheat on my boyfriend more often than he has the desire to cheat on me. Why? I don't know. It's really a very amazing relationship and I couldn't imagine having anyone else as my boyfriend ... Regardless I sometimes feel like I'm young and I should be having more fun, and as a lot of people interpret that as "interacting" with more people, I guess I'm influenced by that.

[quote][i]Originally posted by satan665[/i]
It sucks, every guy out there is attracted to other girls but can't ever admit it because girlfriends can't take tat kind of insecurity.[/quote]
Do you think your girlfriend is never attracted to other guys? If she was and told you, would you feel any kind of insecurity? Just like the urge to cheat isn't restricted to guys, I highly doubt this feeling of insecurity is restricted to girls.

[Justin]

I think you're definately underestimating a girl's capacity to 'spread her seed' as well, lol.

While I am attracted to several women, I can tell you that I rarely feel the need to have sex with them. I rarely even feel the desire. And I guarante you I was once the biggest horn-dog within 100 miles.

Therefore, I have no sympathy for cheaters. It's your penis, and your vagina--if you cheat with it, don't expect me to feel sorry for you. I'll have compassion, but I will not feel sorry for you.

-Justin

[destro53]

Why do guys feel this way? It's a genetic predisposition. Real statistic- the average male expects to sleep with about 3 women in the next year. The average female? 1.5 different guys. Men are genetically set not to stay attached to their mates as it were. Look in nature. Very few animals show any long time relationships. Thats the scientific explanation. (My phylosophy- Blame it on your genes.)

[Justin]

Actually, it's a socialogic predisposition. Not genetic. Society teaches men that they should pursue sex so rabidly in a relationship. Women have just as much a genetic predisposition to be sexually active with multiple partners as men do.

-Justin

[Queen Asuka]

[color=hotpink][size=1]Like Justin said, it is a psychological thing. Fathers and peers tend to pressure the guys to have more sex and get more women: that is just the way it is. Girls on the other hand, are considered sluts if they want more men. It's good for a guy to do it, but bad for a girl to do it, according the the unwritten rules that society has bound us with.

I honestly can say that I do not desire any other guys from where I'm at here at UGA. Sure, they are some very attractive ones, even a few that have offered to date me, but I'm pretty happy in my relationship as of now. As for Ryan, I'm not too sure. He has girls wanting him ALL THE TIME. It worries me, but I know that he wouldn't cheat on me. Bleh, I don't know.

People are too fickle.[/color][/size]

[PiroMunkie]

[size=1]Hormones, hormones, hormones. Mix that in with a little emotion, subtract reason and there you have it. It is more or less just a primal instinct in both boys and girls. Of course, it does seem that boys are more inclined to cheat than women, but there is both a genetic and social factor involved with that these days.

As someone already stated, men are naturally predispositioned to go out and 'adventure', while women are naturally more inclined to just settle in one spot. The social aspect comes in with the idea that the mainstream media has pretty much made it seem cool for guys to be "pimps" and get with a lot of women. So there is also that social pressure to keep "cool". It is really sad, actually ... I am not sure exactly when or how I became so ethical. Sometime during my freshman year of high school, which is kind of funny because that is the year I left religion. Typically it seems people associate high morals with those involved with religion ... *shrugs* Amusing how that can sometimes be the opposite.

Of course, that more so applies to the younger generation. We should hope that adults would know better to be so easily impression by the media, but I do not doubt that there are still those that like to keep up with certain trends and such.

However, it is not like people cheating on each other is anything new. It has been happening since the beginning of time.[/size]

[Baron Samedi]

It's just like that song of Christina Aguilera's [shudders]

"If a guy has 3 girsl he's the man...... If a girl has three guys, shes a [slut/whore/whatever]"

And it is true. Double standards are appalling. I think people should be loyal to their partners. It may be hard though, but keep your self in your pants. geez. Appreciation of the opposite gender is acceptable, but know the line. If you have a problem with it, then don't get into relationships.

It's maturity, hormones, genetics, society, pressure. It's just the vibe of the thing. [I watched The Castle yesterday. Classic Aussie film]

[wrist cutter]

It's a lack of self-control, period. Don't try to come up with some "it's genetic" excuse, or anything of the sort.

God forbid we ever blame ourselves for our own stupidity.

[Brasil]

[QUOTE][i]Originally posted by wrist cutter [/i]
[B]It's a lack of self-control, period. Don't try to come up with some "it's genetic" excuse, or anything of the sort.

God forbid we ever blame ourselves for our own stupidity. [/B][/QUOTE]

We could call it human nature. It's human nature to look for something bigger and better. We're sexual beings...like the song says,

"We're all sexual people, trying to hold back these feelings for SOOOO long. But if you feel, like I feel baby, c'mon, oh c'mon...let's get it on..."

Our naughty bits are fun, we shouldn't hate them, and we shouldn't hate the fact that they're there and reacting to sexual stimuli.

[satan665]

I'm not making any excuses, we're blessed with a capacity for reason. Cheaters know what they are doing, so have to accept the consequences of their actions. I think it has to be more to it than the social pressure thing. I'm not socially pressured to go out and drink beers and smoke.

I don't think I'll ever cheat, but I hate having these feelings and not being able to be honest about them to the girlfriend. I would likt to be, but she would be really upset and it doesn't seem worth it. Hmm, I don't think I'm usually this melodramatic.

[Semjaza]

Except cheaters rarely do accept consequences. They try and cheat their way out of those situations too.

Most of my friends are girls at this point, and I can tell you right out that they are attracted to random guys just as much as guys are attracted to random girls. It cannot be avoided. You cannot put on blockers and only see that girl, although I suppose you could be that infatuated at some point heh.

The difference is really knowing your priorites. Do you care about that person so little that you'd actually act upon that core desire? I'd say most men wouldn't, but almost as many would. I think most men and women, despite being attracted to other people, know that it's just an attraction and isn't the same thing as actually caring for or loving the person they are with. There's always that distinction. Everyone is tempted by things, it's just how people are with their imaginations and such. But how far are they willing to go with it?

So self control goes a long way. If everyone gave into those banal desires everyone would be ******* everyone else that they thought looked good.

[SSJ5 Vegeta]

Well I had a g/f of 2 years break up with me and tell me she was going to go out with a guy who she had been seeing behind my back for 2 months during the summertime... It's been two months since then, and I gave up trying to figure your question out after a week...

[::Ex-Soldier::]

It's tough to keep it to one girl. But there are those who don't have this feeling at all. I mean, when I had a girlfriend, I really didn't look at any other girls. And kept away from the ones I suspected of liking me.

And that got me nowhere. She dumped me afterwords. She liked another guy.

Just remember that you may think you're the only one, but they can be deviant themselves.

Damn girls...

[Kent]

Infidelity is a touchy subject for some and for others it's a no brainer.

Everyone knows it's wrong, or should know. However, I feel that infidelity and deviancy have become more acceptable in America over the last 40 years.

At the current time, we've almost hit a peak in our tolerance for these behaviours. No names, but some very famous people have been caught in the act and just told that it was only a natural urge. (more or less, as the end results of all cases were always a whimpy slap on the wrist)

In my personal life, I have never been unfaithful nor will I accept the idea that infidelity is at all acceptable.

Infidelity is a violation and pervertion of any true relationship. I'm just sad that America today will accept this sort of behaviour as "normal."

[ChibiHorsewoman]

I don't think infedelity is 'normal' I think it's sick. I also don't think it applies to dating, but if you;re engaged or married it does because you shouldn't have made such a commitment if you weren't willing to stick to it.
I think that's part of the reason the celts and the druids and all those pre-Christian religions had those year and a day handfastings just to see if you caould stay faithful for that long.
Saying that you cheat because it's pre-programmed or that it's genetic or any other type of excuse is infantile because whoever says that isn't man or woman enough to face the fact that they actually did something wrong.


[COLOR=darkblue]How many bowls of stupid did you eat today?[/COLOR]

[DeathBug]

Genetic excuses, as it has been said, are no excuse for infedelity. If you can't keep you (Insert naughty part here) in check and remember which head is supposed to decide things, then you're little better than a dog.

[Nate]

But hold on, what made infidelity? Marriage. Do other animals marry? No, because it is not a life need. Humans made it, with our imperfect minds, it's going to of course fail. that's why god never made animals get married.

What makes it sick? It's life. If people didn't want infidelity, then why did they create marriage. They knew it was gonna happen. I mean, say your married for 30 years. After a while your gonna want something else. Say, the 'seven year itch'? Ever heard of it?

Think about that post, then tell me if infidelity is wrong....

[KarmaOfChaos]

[QUOTE][i]Originally posted by Nate [/i]
[B]But hold on, what made infidelity? Marriage. Do other animals marry? No, because it is not a life need. Humans made it, with our imperfect minds, it's going to of course fail. that's why god never made animals get married.

What makes it sick? It's life. If people didn't want infidelity, then why did they create marriage. They knew it was gonna happen. I mean, say your married for 30 years. After a while your gonna want something else. Say, the 'seven year itch'? Ever heard of it?

Think about that post, then tell me if infidelity is wrong.... [/B][/QUOTE]
[color=deeppink]
Infidelity is wrong.

Humans created marriage because we are above animals, we have logical thought, and possess the ability for a higher level of thinking. And even with that, some animals do, in a sense, get married. They mate for life. They are not disloyal. If the animals can do it, can we also not commit loyally?

I agree, that as a human concept, the perfect marriage is never really going to exist. I am against cheating because it is an act of dishonesty and something only a coward would do. Do you not have at least enough respect for the person you once cared for to tell them to their face that it's over? Yes, marriages are going to fail. The question becomes, do you have the courage to face that, instead of sneaking around corners.

Falling out of love happens. Cheating shouldn't.

-Karma
[/color]

[::Ex-Soldier::]

The perfect marriage can happen and probably has happened.

Just because animals do not marry, does not mean we have to do the same. As Karma said, we are completely different other animals. And we know whats right and wrong, while an animal wouldn't.

[Nate]

[QUOTE][i]Originally posted by ::Ex-Soldier:: [/i]
[B]The perfect marriage can happen and probably has happened.

Just because animals do not marry, does not mean we have to do the same. As Karma said, we are completely different other animals. And we know whats right and wrong, while an animal wouldn't. [/B][/QUOTE]


[font=croobie][color=red]you don't see cats running aronud with guns shooting people, do you? Yet, we know what's right and wrong but animals don't....that's messed up.[/font][/color]

[wrist cutter]

For infidelity to exist, marriage doesn't have to. Are you saying you can't cheat on your boyfriend/girlfriend if you sleep with everyone in town? Yeah, OK...

[PiroMunkie]

[QUOTE][i]Originally posted by Nate[/i]
[B][font=croobie][color=red]you don't see cats running aronud with guns shooting people, do you? Yet, we know what's right and wrong but animals don't....that's messed up.[/font][/color][/B][/QUOTE][size=1]Welcome to the world of reason. Humans have it, animals do not. It is what sets us apart from them. That, and our opposable thumbs.[/size]

[DeathBug]

[QUOTE][i]Originally posted by Nate [/i]
[B]
Think about that post, then tell me if infidelity is wrong.... [/B][/QUOTE]

Infidelity is wrong.

Human beings created the concept of right and wrong, so it's only logical that it would not apply to animals. Humans and animals are different, so it makes no sense to compare them.

If I'm in a relationship, I'm not going to cheat because it's wrong, and I don't care what a dog would do.