wiccansamurai Posted November 9, 2003 Share Posted November 9, 2003 I was on the bus ride home from band last night, and i was sitting with my friend, s. we normally fall asleep on eachother. Then he said "If we were a boyfriend girlfriend thing, i would do this" And acts like he was going to put his face in my breast. I pulled away and said that was weird, and went back to trying to sleep. then he asked me out and i said no, cuz, as he already knew, i have a boyfriend. Then he told me a few minutes later that he only meant at band. i said he was confusing me and we dropped it. i pretended to go to sleep becuz i didnt wan t to talk about it anymore. But he started to scare me. he fingered my side, not near to anything, tho, and played around with my hand. then he would lift up hs head and smell my hair or kiss my forehead, but i continued to play sleeping. i was too scared to do anything. then sum1 gave me an excuse to pretend to have woken up, so i sat up, edged to the end of the seat. i couldnt switch seats, there was no room. so i tried to talk to sum1. no1 wanted to talk to me. so when s told me to go back to sleep against him (which was really creepy) i had no excuse and no courage to say no. and he had his fingers on my side again, which, in itself, wouldnt be too bad, but he moved his fingers up until... they were on, you know? then i sat up really fast and said i wasnt tired anymore, cuz i was too scared. He couldn't have thought i was asleep by then, so why the hell did he do that? So i cried a lot today. am i making a big deal out of nothing? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Semjaza Posted November 9, 2003 Share Posted November 9, 2003 Well as hard as that was to read due to the fact that it's totally stream of consciousness and poorly spaced... No, you're not. He's trying to take advantage of you and I don't know why you'd feel you were the one in the wrong. Tell him no, get him off of you and hopefully that will be that. If you don't do something to stop him, he just won't. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Corey Posted November 9, 2003 Share Posted November 9, 2003 No, absolutely not. You have every right to be completely freaked out and quite scared. What he did is considered sexual harrassment. I would either tell someone right now, or if you aren't comfortable doing that, get the hell out of his life. But I reccomend the first. There isn't a friend in the world that would do that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brasil Posted November 9, 2003 Share Posted November 9, 2003 That's called sexual harassment. Tell your teacher IMMEDIATELY. This kid was touching you in an inappropriate manner, causing you anxiety and creating a hostile and uncomfortable environment. Band trip or no, though I realize how demented band people are (I was in band and such), that is NOT right. Tell your teacher, tell your guidance conselors...let the admins know what happened. Just tell them exactly what you said here. EDIT: KOTR, nice avatar and banner. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wiccansamurai Posted November 9, 2003 Author Share Posted November 9, 2003 I wanna keep being his friend, tho... and i dont know, it was my fault for leading him on. i had my hands on his neck all night, cuz my hands were cold and his neck was warm. i was leading him on, and maybe him having his hand on my.... was an accident... i dont know, and i just feel sick to my stomach thinking about it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dagger Posted November 9, 2003 Share Posted November 9, 2003 I'm with Semjaza, KotR, and PT. It's not your fault at all. Whether or not you can bring yourself to tell an adult, this "friendship" needs to end [i]immediately[/i]. It's understandable that you were too scared to tell him off. But you really need to work up your courage, in case he ever--heaven forbid--tries to pull that again. Don't be worried about making him angry. He's a jerk, and you can do much, much better, both in terms of friendship and romance. ~Dagger~ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Corey Posted November 9, 2003 Share Posted November 9, 2003 I'd yell about the double post but that is someone elses job, and truthfully I'd be doing the same. I put my hands on peoples neck all the time. Many are female. And until recently, I was taken also. But if his hands on your breasts were an accident, I'll eat my hard drive. Coupled with everything else he was doing I can gaurauntee it was not an accident. Get away from this guy WS. He's not good. To PT: Thankee. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brasil Posted November 9, 2003 Share Posted November 9, 2003 OK, calm down and take a few deep breaths. Inhale slowly, hold it for a few seconds, then let it out. Let your body move with the air. I realize this is going to sound weird, but read the post then follow my instruction. Close your eyes, clear your mind. Feel yourself drifting off. Take deep, calming, soothing breaths. Just concentrate on the sensation of cool, relaxing movement. Repeat this for a few minutes and you'll feel calm. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wiccansamurai Posted November 9, 2003 Author Share Posted November 9, 2003 i dont wanna mention it to him, becuz last time i mentioned sumthing like this to him, he kept on doing it... that was with him slapping my butt. he stopped that, after i asked him for the hundreth time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Semjaza Posted November 9, 2003 Share Posted November 9, 2003 That's why you just cut him out of the picture entirely. Tell someone else that does get through to him... obviously some sort of authority figure. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BabyGirl Posted November 9, 2003 Share Posted November 9, 2003 [color=deeppink]Maybe he did think you were leading him on, but he's still a jerk. Any guy that tries to move in on a girl who has a boyfriend [and knows it!] is just creepy and wrong. But, like everyone else said, if you don't tell him to stop...then he won't. Let him know that you're not playing around when you tell him, otherwise he may think it's some sort of game that will lead to further touching, etc. You can still be his friend, but make it extremely clear to him that you want to be [i]just[/i] friends. [/color] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Corey Posted November 9, 2003 Share Posted November 9, 2003 It's called hyperventilaing, PT. And take Semjaza's advice to heart. He's got it right. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wiccansamurai Posted November 9, 2003 Author Share Posted November 9, 2003 I tried that with the slapping my butt thing, but he didnt stop, just started to do it more. i just wanna void him for a while. marching band is almost over, and we have a choice about going to the away play off games, so i just wont go. i can avoid him at the home games. he wasnt really making moves on me, he thought i was asleep. and i didnt mean to lead him on, it was just sooooo cold last night, and he was one of the few warm people around. as soon as sum1 gave me a little hand warmer thingy, i used that instead. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nate Posted November 9, 2003 Share Posted November 9, 2003 Yea. what they said. Sadly, even though i am a guy, saying you should do this to a guy..next time he does it. Slap him across that bus. You have the right to do so if he does, it's protection or something like that. I would, i'd slap him. But this is coming form a pyromaniac. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wiccansamurai Posted November 9, 2003 Author Share Posted November 9, 2003 I dont know... im gonna ask his ex something. I asked her why she broke up with him and she said that i would understand if I knew what had happened on the bus. She doesn't really like me all that much, so she wouldn't tell me. But his other ex might tell me why she broke up with him, she's my friend. I'm scared of what everyone would think if they heard I did almost nothing to stop what happened. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChibiHorsewoman Posted November 9, 2003 Share Posted November 9, 2003 Being scared of the whole situation only gives him some power over you and you know you don't want to do that. Of course, if it was me I'd attempt to knock him out with someone's tuba if he tried it again. But that's just me. You probably shouldn't talk to the ex who doesn't like youYou could possibly ask the one of the ex's who is friendly with you, but I suspect you may already know the answer to why they broke up. However, I really wouldn't suggest remaining friend's with someone like this since his negative energy is just something you don't need. Trust me, anyone who would ask you to go behind another's back has some negative energy on their person even if they don't know it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stardust Posted November 9, 2003 Share Posted November 9, 2003 I had this problem with my friend on the band bus. I mean it started out like with you guys...only my friend doesn't like to be touched....so I feel asleep against the window w/ my gameboy in my palm and he tried to take it (he flirts in stupid ways,lol). So he starts licking my hand trying to get me to let go....so I told him he could play it but he wouldn't stop....-_-. It was weird,and then I grabbed his wrist to make him let go of me so he took my hand and laced it in his,and it was just weird....so as u did....I started talking to the girl in front of me thinking the guy would get bored and talk to his friend in the next seat over...but instead he reached down and grabbed my butt....yea....I can't say things weren't weird after that. I KNOW you're not overreacting. It is kinda hard to be friends with the person after that. If it's really bothering you,I think you should call him or write him a note saying that made you feel distrustful of him and whatnot. Things will be ok between you two someday. It's ok to be upset over it. I think you should talk to his ex that is ur friend and see what's up w/ him and stuff. BTW-I sent you a PM if you wnat to talk I'm here Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wiccansamurai Posted November 9, 2003 Author Share Posted November 9, 2003 its not that the ex who doesn't like me isn't my friend, she is, just when i talk to her i can tell she just wants me to go away. And he doesn't even know I realized what he was doing. As i said, he thought I was asleep the whole time. after i said no cuz i had a boyfriend, that was after i had told kristin that zach was confusing me, so s said "But thats not really decided, is it?" hes so creepy. and chibi, the tuba player is just about as scary as him, lol. not that i am laughing.... sigh Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stardust Posted November 9, 2003 Share Posted November 9, 2003 You know. Bandos are just scary. It's one of my fine rules of dating. Don't date bandos,hahahaha (inside joke). And what is it about the band bus? It's like,instant hornyness to any guy who happens to be riding it. Geese....strange people you meet at band.....*runs away* Just try not to bring it up to your friends and maybe they won't think anything bad of you. I alsoknow this from experience. Tuba players are scary? Really? Our's are alright...we have a girl tuba...well,not really tubas,sousaphones. They do this really cool wave thing with their instruments. But the scary people are all (trom)boners....lol....they're all scary horny guys....it's freaky.....*shudders* Randomly beating people w/ instruments...gotta love it! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wiccansamurai Posted November 9, 2003 Author Share Posted November 9, 2003 there's only two sousaphones.... and i happen to be friends with the scary one. what the hell is up with this, do all the guys think that since im ugly, im easy, or sumthing? and as far as your siggy goes with the piccahoes, im a saxabooby. not all the tromboners are bad, i know all of them cuz my bro is the section leader. its mostly just s. i dont know. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stardust Posted November 9, 2003 Share Posted November 9, 2003 Lol,random band stories,how fun! Yes,the sections have dinners b4 the games on friday,so I wlak into band and written on the board is HORNY SAXY BONER dinner at Fridays,lol! It mean mellophones,saxs,and trombones,lol. But it was funny. We all have our little sheer too. After the cadence,we say "PICS ARE HIGH" lol,and the tromboners always walk around saying "WHO'S HARD?WE'RE HARD!" lol,and then the directer yelled at em for it so now they walk around saying "who's CENSORED we're CENSORED" lol. No tromboners aren't bad people. I dated one of them and have a crush on one or two of them now. And I'm friends with one, he sat w/ me on the band bus the last few games,yep. Lol,I have a pic of me in my band uniform posted in the pic thing if you're curious.OUR UNIFORMS SUCK. Anyways, I doubt you're neither easy or ugly,don't think so bad about urself. Really. Don't do it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
::Ex-Soldier:: Posted November 9, 2003 Share Posted November 9, 2003 I think you should set him straight before he gets violent. You never know. I mean, he could be one of those people that go home and lick their feet in the dark corner of there bedroom, mumbling and laughing words of suicide, and blood. Psychotic way of looking at it, no? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fyxe Posted November 9, 2003 Share Posted November 9, 2003 [SIZE=1][COLOR=darkblue]If I were in your situation I would kick his a**, friend or not. That is just wrong. I had a semi same situation. This one guy would always flirt with me non-stop, one day he tried holding my hand ^^;;.... then he started rubbing my arms all the time. I had talked to him about it before, but one day he went [I]way[/I] to far. So I slapped him. *shrugs* I always take care of things that way. Boys normally know not to mess with me.... they see what I do to those who do. But honestly, you need to report that kind of thing to an adult if you cannot handle it yourself. You cannot run and hide from your fears (and your harrasment) but you need to face it and get it taken care of. It is no good to let it slip. You need to end your friendship as well if he keeps doing it. I hope my advice is helpful.... if anyone messes with ya... show em what you got! Slap him, kick him, do whatever. Just don't let him take control over you.[/COLOR][/SIZE] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DragonArcher Posted November 9, 2003 Share Posted November 9, 2003 Your "friend" had no right to do that. Knight of the rose is right,no friend would do that. Nothing is your fault so don't think it is you were taken advantage of. I know how it feels to not want to tell someone about, two guys in eighth grade made fun of me alot at school and I cried when I got home and it was to embarassing to talk about,I know its different from your situation but I know the feeling,but nothing was your fault, that guy should be kicked in the nuts. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wiccansamurai Posted November 9, 2003 Author Share Posted November 9, 2003 It's very hard to kick him in the nuts.... i tried when he started smacking my butt. He has good reflexes and's stronger than me... I don't know, when anything has ever happened, I've never told anyone. Something like this kinda happened in fifth grade when an eigth grader kissed me, which was a big thing for a fifth grader, but then he said later he never did that... i dont know, I may have made that up in the back of my head... maybe i'm the crazy one... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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