Shinta Himura Posted November 13, 2003 Share Posted November 13, 2003 Hi All This is my furst time posting on the boards. I was touched by the way the community helped wiccansamurai and thought perhaps I could recieve advice. A while back my best friend began dating this new gurl, jo. For no reason whatsoever I developed a crush on her. This wus sorta a furst crush fing. I... didnt realli like gurls in dat way before. I saw the ways love used to tear apart people and didnt realli want ne part of it. I eventually told my best friend about it, and he wus very supportive, then I told jo (while she wus going out wid my best friend). My friend wus very supportive, but jo jus ignored the subject and after a while dat wus it. So its present day and for no reason I still like her. My best friend has dumped her and is seeing someone else who he loves dearly. Jo loved him dearly and was torn apart by the breakup.... I've been a constant good friend to her and I think she thinks I dont hav feeling for her. But the problem is I do. My best friend wont support me ne more cos it brings bak bad memories of the breakup. I am afraid of telling her of my feelings because I almost definitely know she is in pining for my best friend and I am afraid our good friendship could be alienated. On top of all of dat.... My parents r strict followers of the islamic faith and its like a rule dat im not allowed to date gurls for sum reason etc etc Also she is of the jewish faith, which I kno wnt go down well wid dem. God, I love her, but i dont know what to do. I am afraid that the answer is staring me straight in the face, but it is too much for me to handle. Sorri for the long post, thank u for ur replies, if any. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wrist cutter Posted November 13, 2003 Share Posted November 13, 2003 [QUOTE][i]Originally posted by Shinta Himura [/i] [B]I saw the ways love used to tear apart people and didnt realli want ne part of it.[/B][/QUOTE] There's your answer. Just go back to being like that and ignore whatever petty feelings you may have for this girl. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shinta Himura Posted November 13, 2003 Author Share Posted November 13, 2003 One dusnt simply ignore their own emotions. The mind kant control the heart... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dagger Posted November 13, 2003 Share Posted November 13, 2003 [QUOTE][i]Originally posted by Shinta Himura [/i] [B]One dusnt simply ignore their own emotions. The mind kant control the heart... [/B][/QUOTE] Read the quote in your signature. It directly contradicts what you just stated. It sounds to me as though you believe--consciously or subconsciously--that the bad in this potential relationship definitely outweighs the good. You wrote a paragraph filled with reasons why you shouldn't pursue this girl. Your only justification for attempting to start a romantic relationship with her are your feelings. And I hate to say this, but emotions can be fleeting. Right now, she needs your support with no strings attached. Breakups aren't easy, and why tell her how you feel when you're (a) afraid of losing her friendship, and (b) certain that she's still in love with your best friend? ~Dagger~ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RicoTranzrig Posted November 13, 2003 Share Posted November 13, 2003 [COLOR=darkblue]The heart can feel, but cannot remember. That is the job of the mind. Until things aren't so complicated, I'd say keep yourself distracted as much as you can from your feelings of wanting a relationship with this girl. I think if you're comfortable enough to tell a girl how you feel without thinking over and over again how the outcome will be, it should work out, in whichever why it does.[/COLOR] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shinta Himura Posted November 13, 2003 Author Share Posted November 13, 2003 The problem is all I have seemed to be doing is waiting for sumthing to happen. Isn't it about time to take control of the situation? Ahh I dunno im realli confused. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dagger Posted November 13, 2003 Share Posted November 13, 2003 Yes. Either tell her about your feelings for her, or firmly resolve to put those emotions behind you. The longer you stay in limbo, the more frustrated you will become. Waiting can only hurt you more in the end. It's better to decide to completely ignore your emotions, and eventually get over them. If you can't bring yourself to do that, then go ahead and confess your feelings to her. As long as neither you nor she allows them to interfere with your friendship, I don't see any problems with it (beyond the ones which you've already detailed). ~Dagger~ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shinta Himura Posted November 13, 2003 Author Share Posted November 13, 2003 I see the truth in your words... I think I should put these feelings behind me, but simply put I jus dont kno how to ignore my feelings! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OlgaTheDwarf Posted November 13, 2003 Share Posted November 13, 2003 How old are you? You sound to young to be talking to girl's. "From such children, come more children." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shinta Himura Posted November 13, 2003 Author Share Posted November 13, 2003 Hope u dnt mind if I keep my age private. I do not think it matters much to the matter at hand. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wrist cutter Posted November 13, 2003 Share Posted November 13, 2003 [QUOTE][i]Originally posted by Shinta Himura [/i] [B]Hope u dnt mind if I keep my age private. I do not think it matters much to the matter at hand. [/B][/QUOTE] Surprisingly, "love" to a 30 year old is a bit different than it is to a 15 year old. It actually does make quite a bit of difference. ...in most cases. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harry Posted November 13, 2003 Share Posted November 13, 2003 [QUOTE][i]Originally posted by Shinta Himura [/i] [B]One dusnt simply ignore their own emotions. [/B][/QUOTE] If they're a man they will. Now quit being a wimp and go for her. Also quit being so generous with your "u"s. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest evil chocobo Posted November 13, 2003 Share Posted November 13, 2003 You said that she was your first crush so "it is better to have loved and lost then to have never loved before" (i love that quote!) so i think you should go for it and if she doesn't return your feeling then ask if you can still be friends. BUT if she does return your feeling becareful that she not trying to use you to get your friend jealous! (why she would do this i don't know) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Original Posted November 13, 2003 Share Posted November 13, 2003 [QUOTE][i]Originally posted by Harry [/i] [B] Now quit being a wimp and go for her. [/B][/QUOTE] I agree with Harry (but in a friendlier way). Let me tell you a story kidees. Settle around. Last year, there was a girl I liked. Immensly. I wanted to ask her out, but was afraid of some of the possible outcomes, like you apparantly feel. Well, I finally got up the courage to ask her out. She turned me down. I was a lil' depressed for a day or two, 'till I thought "Well, at least its over and done with. I coud have been waiting in anticipation for months, only to still be shot down. I could'a wasted a [u]lot[/u] of time." The thing is, I'm still happy I asked her at the beggining, cause its over. If you are shot down, there's plenty more girls out there. If you are accepted, then congrats. *throws confetti* I think you should just get your feelings out in the open, rather than let them fester for months. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shinta Himura Posted November 13, 2003 Author Share Posted November 13, 2003 Yeh, im beggining to understand that if I am not able to ignore my emotions I should at least tell her about it... Limbo is beggining to get frustrating now. Im still finding it hard to believe that my best friend could fall out of love with her so fast... Anyway I'll post back once I have handled the situation at hand. Your still welcome to give advice.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now