Writing Sample of an Untitled Work

[Eclectic]

Here's a little sample of a piece of fiction I'm working on. I'd like to know what people think.
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Fayren peered out at the crowd. The club seemed nearly full. It was the last night they would open for Spineshank. Sighing, she turned to Hayden, her bassist, and Raquel, her drummer.
"He's out there. Are we ready to deal with him?" They both nodded. She had discussed this many times over. "Even during the set?"
"We've gone over this hundreds of times." Hayden stepped towards her and was just about to give her a reassuring kiss when the club's manager ducked backstage.
"You're on in two," he barked. Stopping short, he looked from Hayden and Fayren to Raquel and back again with a curious look in his eyes.
"They love each other," Raquel said from her spot on the far wall. "You don't have a problem with that, do you?" The manager only shook his head and left.
"Thanks," Fayren said as she pulled away from Hayden. "I don't know where we'd be without you."
Raquel let out one of her ringing laughs. "In Hell, of course. That, or in a garage looking for a decent drummer." ...
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Comments and critiques, anyone?

[wiccansamurai]

I liked it lots! (Heehee, not a very structured sentence I wrote) Anyway, it really feels suspensful (sp?) And already a antogonist worth reading about. (That is if the owner guy is the antogonist)

[Guest LokiofAsgard]

It's good, i like it. It had some deep thought, i could tell. any more you'd be willing to share? Hey WiccanSamurai, we meet again, check ur PMs, i snt you something ^_~

[Eclectic]

The antagonist is the same club's former owner and I'm glad you've like it so far. I might post more when I get home this afternoon if there's time. There's much more to the story than that sample.