Brasil Posted November 18, 2003 Share Posted November 18, 2003 ??Peter, you really need to get a job.? ?But, Mom?? ?No. No ?buts? about it. You?re getting a job.? ?I don?t want one!? ?Don?t raise your voice to your mother, Peter.? ?Dad?? ?Stop your whining and listen for once.? ?Yes, Pete. Please listen to us. We know what we?re talking about.? ?All right?I?ll listen.? ?Good. Now, you need a job. You?re seventeen and even though we will help you with college expenses, you?re going to be expected to bear most of the brunt of tuition and books. There are a lot of good jobs out there and it?s easy to get a good one if you know what to look for.? ?Pay attention to your mother, Peter.? ?You only have a year-and-a-half left before Graduation. You need to start saving now. Tomorrow you go out and get a job.? ?Okay??? ?Your parents said that?? ?Yeah.? ?Dude, your parents were harsh.? ?I know. They never got off my back about that until I started working.? ?Where?d you work?? ?Uncle Joe?s Happy Fun Land.? ?What the hell is that?? ?An amusement park.? ?Cool.? ?It wasn?t fun, dude.? ?Oh.? ?Yeah, you know the guys in the suits?? ?Oh! You were one of those guys? Cool!? ?I cleaned the suits.? ?Oh, bummer.? ?The job paid great, though. $10.50 an hour.? ?Bitchin.? ?Hell yeah. Hey, pass it.? ?Sorry. Here.? ?Thanks.? ?Careful inhaling.? ?That?s damn good shit. Where?d you get it?? ?No, no. Trade secret. My lips are sealed.? ?Haha. Man?? ?What?? ?I need a job again.? ?Get a job on-campus.? ?Nah, I hear those blow.? ?Check the ?paper.? ?Want ads?? ?Yeah.? ?I don?t think so.? ?Why not?? ?They?re just?shit.? ?Well, dude, I?m running out of ideas.? ?Me, too. I?ve got the munchies. Campus Center run?? ?I?m up for it.? ?Cool. Let?s go.? ?Dude, the weather sucks.? ?I hate rain.? ?Makes everything wet.? ?Hey, Mike, hurry up. I?m getting soaked. Mike?? ?Pete, you?re a frosh, right?? ?Yeah.? ?And what?s your major again?? ?Com-sci. Why?? ?I found your job. Check it out.? ?What? That?? ?Yeah, dude, check it out!? ??Hey students! Need a job? Try this! $17.00 per hour. Flexible hours. Fun and easy. Scholarships available. All majors. Secure a job after graduation!!! For info, call 1-800-609-3766.? So what?? ?Call the number. It sounds awesome. And you don?t have anything to lose.? ?All right?where?s my cell?here it is. Okay, what?s the number?? ?1-800-609-3766.? ?1-800-609-3766?? ?Well?? ?Mike, shut-up. It?s ringing. I?? ?Good afternoon, Waltherson Enterprises, Miami division. How may I help you?? ??oh, hi. Uh?my name is Peter Kitchner and I saw a flyer for a job opening? It had this number to call.? ?Ah, you?re applying for the internship?? ?Um, yeah, I guess so.? ?One moment, please, Mr. Kitchner. I?ll transfer you to Human Resources.? ?Pete, what?s up? What?s the job?? ?The secretary or whoever is transferring me to Human Resources.? ?But what?s the job?? ?I think it?s an internship.? ?Cool.? ?Patrick Wallace, Director of Human Resources, how can I help you?? ?Hi, my name is Peter Kitchner and I saw this flyer for a job opening at your company.? ?Ah, yes, Mr. Kitchner. The job is an internship at an up-and-coming tech company. The company specializes in deep sea exploration and heavy water development. The intern would be placed at the primary operations platform to act as an administrative assistant.? ?Who would I work for?? ?Normally, the interns report to the Organization Administrator, but this is a special case, so you would be reporting directly to Dr. No.? ?Dr. No?? ?Yes. Dr. No. He?s a very gifted forward thinker. We?re very pleased to be working with him. He has some ideas that would benefit many, many people, and we?re eager to provide support. We?re also eager to provide college students like yourself with a chance to secure a post-Graduation employment opportunity. It?s out of this dual-purpose mission statement that we?re organizing this innovative internship. It?s a one-of-a-kind opportunity, Mr. Kitchner.? ?Sounds great. When would I start?? ?We could start you within the week. We would take care of all of your remaining semester expenses, fly you out there, and you wouldn?t have to worry about a thing. Do we have a deal?? ?Sure. Sounds good to me.? ?Excellent. Thank you, Mr. Kitchner.? ?Thank you, Mr. Wallace.? ?So, Pete, what?s up?? ?I?ve got a job.? ?Awesome!? ?Yeah.? ?Heh, now that you?re a working guy, snacks are on you, dude.? ?Shithead.? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wiccansamurai Posted November 18, 2003 Share Posted November 18, 2003 Is this supposed to say all college students are on drugs? O.o sorry, just a thought. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mitch Posted November 18, 2003 Share Posted November 18, 2003 [size=1] He got the job too easy. It's not really like that. Otherwise I thought it was pretty awesome. Very awesome. Go PT. :)[/size] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raiha Posted November 18, 2003 Share Posted November 18, 2003 [color=royalblue]That's not necessarily true, I got my current and soon to be ex job by simply knowing the right person. She interviewed, I was accepted, bingo, paychecks! And my next job will come vaguely in the same way. I answer phones, fill perscriptions, smile at people, schedule appointments.[/color] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wiccansamurai Posted November 18, 2003 Share Posted November 18, 2003 Yeah, but that job sounded like a very important job... maybe this is foreshadowing that there's something wrong with the job! Now I'm hooked. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amorphous Posted November 18, 2003 Share Posted November 18, 2003 [color=crimson][size=1]The instant I heard the name Dr. No I immediately thought of the First James Bond Movie; Dr. No, Did anyone else catch that and something in this story sounds vaguely familiar but maybe I'm just connecting two different things. I don?t know, I would have to re watch that movie. I own it so there?s nothing stopping me. You know usually I don?t sit down and suddenly start reading stories short or long, it?s a very rare thing that I do and this one caught my attention. Good job. [/size][/color] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RPCrazy Posted November 18, 2003 Share Posted November 18, 2003 -snickers- Thumbs up to wiccansamurai and Amorphous. Post more, PT...let 'em know what's up. -much nodding done- EDIT: Weee! 100th post! -dances- Go mee, go mee. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Baron Samedi Posted November 19, 2003 Share Posted November 19, 2003 Mmmm. Something about this seems to good, too easy too... smooth. I don't trust these people.. may be something to do with the short story I read about this guy getting this sweet job, but it turns into a horror story. This just doesn't rest well with me. Hhmmm. *shudders violently* Anyways, a good story. I love how you did all the story in speech. It still portrays the idea, but cuts down on the annoying bits about books. It also adds mystery and the ability to picture and conceive the storyline differently for each person. Nice job, I can't wait for the next Chapter in this story ^_^ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brasil Posted December 11, 2003 Author Share Posted December 11, 2003 ?OK, Mike, what are we getting?? ?Oreos.? ?Oreos?? ?Oreos.? ?Regular?? ?Doublestuff.? ?I don?t see them, Mike.? ?What the hell?? ?What?? ?Dude, I saw them here yesterday.? ?Well, they?re not here now.? ?Dude, that pisses me off.? ?Pick something else, Mike.? ?I want to talk to the manager.? ?Mike, shut-up, dude.? ?Up yours.? ?Look, chocolate chip cookies.? ?Where?? ?There.? ?Mmm?sweet chocolate chips?? ?Mike?do you want to pay for that, or are you just gonna keep feeling it up?? ?Heh. Here.? ?Anything else we want?? ?Pop-Tarts.? ?Need more description, Mike, I?m not a mind reader.? ?Frosted cherry. Hehe??cherry,?? ?Sick?you?re fucked up, you know that?? ?Yep.? ?Stop grinning. You look like a schmuck.? ?I love you, too.? ?Dude! Get off me.? ?Oh, Pete, why do you push me away?!? ?Mike!? ?Please, open up to me!? ?Get off!? ?Haha! That?s the idea! Now give me a kiss, asshole.? ?Mike, you need help.? ?Maybe.? ?You?re nuts. Screwloose. A few cans short of a sixpack.? ?Yeah, I finished that Heineken yesterday.? ?What Heineken?? ?The ones by the sink.? ??that was piss, dude?you were supposed to clean them out.? ?Oh well. Didn?t taste a difference.? ?Crazy. Totally wacko.? ?I?m not the crazy one.? ?What?? ?Nothing?? ?Okay?I?m going to pay for these. You wait over there.? ?Do I have to?? ?Yes.? ?Darn. I wanted to play with the cashier.? ?No. Go over there.? ?Fine. I?m going to get you back.? ?Sure.? ?When you?re asleep.? ?Go stand by the cookies.? ?Mmm?cookies.? --- It's mindboggling just how long it takes to get the dialogue right. End of the semester chaos doesn't help, either, I suppose. lol. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Drix D'Zanth Posted December 11, 2003 Share Posted December 11, 2003 You guys in your fairly shortsighted critisim, haven't realized two things PT has pulled off here. He's created an entire story, character base, and given it CONTENT through [b]dialogue[/b] and nothing else. No actions, no movements. Everything is explained fairly subliminally within the text. He's also kept it believable. Secondly, Is this Dr. No reference specifically to the James Bond villian? If so, getting a job as one of his lackeys probably wouldn't be difficult at all. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Manic Webb Posted December 12, 2003 Share Posted December 12, 2003 Imagine getting a job to pay for college, and getting shot by a British secret agent on the first day. That'd suck. I just wanted to say this story is hilarious. Also, I like how only dialogue is used, and it's not difficult to follow, even though you're never told which quote belongs to who. Each character is addressed bit-by-bit, so you have to pay attention to figure out who everyone is. I like it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amorphous Posted December 12, 2003 Share Posted December 12, 2003 [color=crimson][size=1]And yet the story seems to be going quite well for nothing truly happening but getting Cookies... Chocolate Chip cookies that is.[/size][/color] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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