Guest cloricus Posted November 25, 2003 Share Posted November 25, 2003 [quote]We are supposed to live in a time of free choice and still we have the chauvinists who follow the old ways of the wife does what she is told. A marriage that begins with the husband forcing his wife to take on his name isn't going to last long.[/quote] That?s rather offensive, suggesting some one is a chauvinist because they are following a tradition that does no harm to anyone but makes them and their family happy. Also saying that this sort of thing has some sort of effect on how long a marriage will last and that it has something to do with oppressing free choice is unfounded and really apart from your own opinion has no real world effect or relevance. Just because some traditions are out dated and irrelevant does not mean all are in the same basket, personally taking on my last name would be one of the only traditions that I've been brought up to follow that I believe I will be and of course that?s up to discussion. Just for the record I hate hyphenated first names! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rememberence Posted November 25, 2003 Author Share Posted November 25, 2003 [QUOTE][i]Originally posted by Queen Asuka [/i] [B][color=hotpink][size=1]Well, I plan to take on the last name of the man I marry. It's something that little girls always dream about and I'm sure that when you were a kid, you were so obsessed with some pop culture icon that you pretending you were married and called yourself by the last name, didn't you?[/b][/color][/size] [B][color=green]um...sorry no i didn't. i never had an idol or a fav. star and i'd always loved my last name and would never change it for the world! no matter what anyone says...well maybe my mum she said if i act too proud and too stubborn(which i am not!)i won't get a husband! but all well...i don't really mind...that's actually a lie...[/b][/color] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Skyechild91 Posted November 25, 2003 Share Posted November 25, 2003 Well, probably not, but maybe. I dont know. It depends. I may even change it, just to be creative. But I was brought up that way too. My mom still has her maiden name, but she also carries my das surname. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
outlawstar69 Posted November 25, 2003 Share Posted November 25, 2003 Hmm... I guess it doesn't really matter to me. From the culture that I was partially steeped in (that culture being Egypt; even if I was born here), the tradition there is that the women take on thier husband's surname, then the kids have their dad's first names as their middle names. It's kinda different I guess; I haven't heard this anywhere else. (My mom chose all of our first names, she's from Pennsylvania and wanted to choose them. My dad didn't have a problem :) ) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Justin Posted November 25, 2003 Share Posted November 25, 2003 Yeah, my wife will be taking on my last name. -Justin Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dan L Posted November 25, 2003 Share Posted November 25, 2003 I hear there's a new way some people at the church I'm at now, decide to do it. At the end of the day, marriage is based on the original concept of covenant. For a better view of what covenant's all about, look for a thread called "covenant", probably a page or two back. One of the processes in a covenant is that the two identities switch names- ie. each one taken on a part of the other's name within their own. So, some of the guys here have decided not to simply make their wives take their own surname, but they've made up a new surname out of the two, and gone with that instead. Because quite rightly, the woman shouldn't always have to be the one to change name, but I'd have thought that marriage is something important and life changing enough to change your name-- on [i]both[/i] sides. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChibiHorsewoman Posted November 26, 2003 Share Posted November 26, 2003 [COLOR=blue]I agree with Dan and The Newt on the whole name thing. You can't just dictate that someone will take your name as their last name. And if you think you can, well, just stay out of the marriage pool for the time being. Part of marriage is compromise. I wasn't even born with the last name I have now, but these people adopted me and treated me as their own child for 21 years so that's why I decided to keep my maiden name when I got married to my husband in september 2002. He understands this and that's why he let me make the desicion myself. Not to sound rude or anything, but from the way most of you have replied, I think the majority of you are still in school and are just dating. YOu haven't really had the actual marriage thought process yet. Trust me, it's not all flowers and cuddling. You ahve to learn how to live with a person whose upbringing and background may be completely different from yours. There's a lot of stress involved too. And if you really hate stress-never marry a military person. Trust me, I thought a lot before deciding on how I was going to go by after I got married. Sometimes I thought I might Use Crisler (my husband's name) other times I thought I'd do what I'm doing now. And even tho I get a finger cramp after signing my name it's worth it.[/COLOR] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KarmaOfChaos Posted November 26, 2003 Share Posted November 26, 2003 [color=deeppink] Me? Married? Now that's going to be scary...heh. On to the point. If and when I do get married, I do not know what shall become of my surname. I am rather fond of it, and absolutely adore watching people attempt to spell it. XD I know my aunt simply added her husband's last name to hers, with just a space, no hyphens. However, that might get a bit tedious to write out. I suppose I'll take whoever's last name is more unique. It's just more interesting that way. ^-^ -Karma [/color] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sara Posted November 27, 2003 Share Posted November 27, 2003 [size=1]I can't say I have any immediate plans to marry anyone, heh. When and if I do marry, I expect my partner and I will talk about it. I don't see the name change (or lack thereof) as a very big issue in any way, so I don't imagine there would be much of a problem. If I were to change my name, it would be very odd. It seems that whenever people talk to me in school, they always call me "Saramartin," one word, because of the other Sara(h)s in my classes. It be very strange for that to be different, heh. But I suppose I won't really know until the day comes.[/size] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shy Posted November 27, 2003 Share Posted November 27, 2003 [QUOTE][i]Originally posted by Sara [/i] [B][size=1]...they always call me "Saramartin," one word....[/B][/QUOTE] When I first read that I thought it said "Samaritin" or however you spell it. Heh. I strongly dislike my last name, so any opportunity to see it changed or replaced would be a good thing. However, both partners should try to figure out what they are going to do rather than just assume that one will forfeit their name for the other. Of course, I'm not really in danger of getting married. A gay wedding doesnn't seem like too much fun. I don't look very good in a tuxedo, either. -Shy[/size] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mitch Posted November 27, 2003 Share Posted November 27, 2003 [QUOTE][i]Originally posted by Shy [/i] [B]When I first read that I thought it said "Samaritin" or however you spell it. Heh. -Shy[/size] [/B][/QUOTE] [size=1] It's spelled "Samaritan," I believe. That's the same thing I thought when I saw it. Spamilicous post, yay. I've already said what I've said...but really, a name isn't a big deal. And it shouldn't be. So if and when I get married, which I doubt will happen, it doesn't matter to me. A name doesn't make a person nor a marriage nor anything.[/size] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lady Asphyxia Posted November 28, 2003 Share Posted November 28, 2003 [size=1]I'm not sure -- I'm asking a question, really -- but I think that traditionally it isn't [i]just[/i] the surname that the wife adopts. I mean, say Miss Cherry Prancier married Mr Christopher Trilan. Traditionally [and possibly still today] she become [i]Mrs.[/i] Christopher Trilan. So...she'd have adopted [i]both[/i] his names, wouldn't she? Perhaps I'm wrong, but I thought that's where the surname thing entered into it...[/size] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChibiHorsewoman Posted November 29, 2003 Share Posted November 29, 2003 Do you think that's scary? I actually [i]receive[/i] things in the mail addressed to Mrs. Lincoln Crisler! My name isn't Lincoln! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
island gurl Posted November 30, 2003 Share Posted November 30, 2003 I agree with ChibiHorseWoman. Most of the people that have replied probably haven't really thought it through and wouln't really have any idea. Personally I don't really know either. I would probably change it to my husband's name unless he had a really awful last name and then I'd keep my maiden name because i like my maiden name. I think that is you do change your name it just means you respect the other person. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Semjaza Posted November 30, 2003 Share Posted November 30, 2003 I think we should go back to the days where people didn't have last names. You'd be ____, son/daughter of ______. I always found that amusing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MissWem Posted November 30, 2003 Share Posted November 30, 2003 Lol, nice one Semjaza Azazel....that would be rather interesting. I probably would want to keep mine though due to the fact it fits in with the rest of my name, would you believe, my initials are "H.H.H". If I changed my last name....then I'd lose the entire look of my name. Then there's also the point that changing it to fit my husband (I think marriage is scary) would make me feel like I was owned by him. Not a nice feeling. So no. I would not take my husband's last name Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Semjaza Posted November 30, 2003 Share Posted November 30, 2003 Well... I don't know if you want to be associated with that wrestler Triple H. I don't watch wrestling, but even I know everyone hates him. So maybe in your case you could be better off changing it heh. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MissWem Posted November 30, 2003 Share Posted November 30, 2003 hehe...you have a point there, but to top off the weirdness. My brother has the same initials...lol *sigh*My dad has a strange sense of humour *shakes head* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now