Chauvinism

[Artemis]

Has anyone else noticed a problem with how many guys treat girls these days? I think it's extremely disrespectful. My biggest problem is a certain guy I'm going to call "Evan". He can be really nice. He's good person, pretty smart, good singer, and, unfortunately, a good actor. That's where the problem comes in. You can never tell when he's genuine. He's also the type of guy who flirts very seriously with many girls all at once. What makes it worst is the kind of things I'll actually hear him say. It's all very shallow regarding whether or not a girl's pretty or has a large bust, etc. Maybe we just live in a shallow world, but I wish a lot of people would just grow up. Many of the things Evan says are very demeaning and bitter (as though he's been stung by a girl before...I know exactly who and it wasn't me). So, do you think he's like this just b/c he's a bit jaded, or is it b/c he's a guy? It's really annoying b/c he has this charisma that just draws you in, even while you're thinking to yourself, "He's so fake."
More regarding chauvinism, I really hate it when I a guy tries to hit on me while acting like he's "all that". Arrogance turns me off like nothing else. I think we ladies deserve more respect than having a guy act as though we'd be privileged to be w/ him. If that makes me a "player-hater" then so be it. I can't stand guys like that.
Ok, I sound like a complete feminist now. I guess I am, in the classical sense. I want your thoughts on this, and remember guys, I've got hope that some of you are wonderful people. I just always happen to run into the losers... lol
~art~

[Raiha]

[color=royalblue]I would like to say that he'll grow out of it, but until he meets someone classier, sexier, and a better actress than him, he'll be a dick forever.

My advice, and my take on it is, play them back. Be as bitchy as possible and enjoy what comes. When you meet a genuinely kind and thoughtful guy, you won't have to act. .....I pretend to be interested more often than not. It leads them along, and when their egos get too big, I watch them crash and burn. Occasionally, I'll meet a Chauvanist bastard, and eventually end up crushing his balls......but usually I get a long well with males of all types.[/color]

[Kinetic]

It's because he's a guy. Most guys act like this, at least the ones I know. I act like this on occasion, but in a much more mild manner. I don't act as if I'm "all that" as you say, but I don't hide in the corner and scowl at those who pull me in to the light.

Most guys you'll ever meet will probably try to "play" you. That's just the way it is.

E D I T: I know there are other genuine people out there, and I know that all of the little 13 year olds that come and post in here will deny the fact that they're "players" but most guys I've seen are. The fact is, *forgot there's younger kids on here, so this is in the spoiler thing* [spoiler]The guys are just trying to get laid.[/spoiler]

[Brasil]

[QUOTE][i]Originally posted by Artemis [/i]
[B] It's really annoying b/c he has this charisma that just draws you in, even while you're thinking to yourself, "He's so fake."[/B][/QUOTE]

Haha. Funny you should say that. It?s the Milton?s Satan. In John Milton?s Paradise Lost, Satan was portrayed as a sensual and seductive force, a sympathetic character. He seduces Eve with charisma, and even though Eve knows he?s up to something, she can?t resist, because he?s so damn charming?lol?similar to Raiha?s chats with Drix. The Miltonian Satan Dynamic is quite interesting.

But yes, to the topic at hand. Most guys are perverted sex fiends. I quote Max Bialystock, ?If you?ve got it, flaunt it.? This Evan guy has it, and he?s working it for all it?s worth. As much as I hate saying it, go him, lol.

The trick is, don?t let yourself get fooled. You see into his façade, and you realize what is going on. Just know you have that knowledge, and you?ll be fine.

[WW2]

I've noticed alot at my school, and I'm pretty sure its everywhere.

Frankly, as a fellow member of the hetero male species, I really don't get why these types of guys do what they do.
Its like they're all obsessed with getting into girls pants, and don't really care about the consequences.
What the hell, are they that shallow/desperate?

When I see this kinda stuff goin' on at school, it makes me sick, and I can't help but wonder what is going on in these peoples heads.
What I really don't understand is why some girls fall for it all.

But in the end, I can't really give any insight on whats up with these people, since I'm not like them.

But then again, I may not know what the hell I'm talking about.:D

[James]

[color=#707875]Stories like this only make me shake my head in annoyance.

Whoever invented the word "player" should be shot, at least in the context some men seem to use it.

A man should treat his partner with the utmost respect and dignity. It shouldn't be a case of "Oh, you're so privileged to be with me". It should be more like "I'm so privileged to be with [i]you[/i]."

What happened to being humble and being genuinely interested in someone else's intelligence and ideas? Does it take too much effort to cherish one person? I don't know.

But I think that if it [i]does[/i] take too much effort to get over yourself, you probably don't deserve to be in a lasting relationship anyway (that is, to all the men out there who treat their partners with arrogance and disrespect).[/color]

[Sara]

[size=1]On a slightly related note, [i]The Paper Bag Princess[/i] by Robert Munsch is a very cool little book/movie that touches on chauvinism. (At the very least, in the sense that one of the song lyrics includes the word.)

I think James put it really well, heh.

[i]A man should treat his partner with the utmost respect and dignity. It shouldn't be a case of "Oh, you're so privileged to be with me". It should be more like "I'm so privileged to be with you."
[/i]

[/size]

[Charlie Levoy]

Yes, alot of guys these days are players and are only for one thing. To get layed. Now their are girls who get pulled in and their are sme who don't.

Even though I hate to admit this, but their are even some who enjoy it and they let them selves get caught or they become players them selves.

Hopefully this is just some sort of phase that will pass. The best thing you can do is don't let your self get caught in the trap.

~Charlie Levoy~ :cool:

[outlawstar69]

To Artimis, from what country do you hail from? If you're from one of the world powers or westernized societies, then yes I see your point. I myself know many males who are "players" or "ladie's men". Pox on them all. I also know a few that aren't. For one, I would hope that I'm not a player, for I have not and will not date untill I'm ready for marriage; it's a religious and personal decision. There are some people in these societies that are nice guys; there really are. Just don't limit yourself to looking in the areas where you live; keep in mind that there are different societies that raise their males differently. Some treat women with more respect; some treat them with less respect. That's just the way it is sadly, but don't lose hope. (if that's what you're losing.) Not everybody wants to get in relationships to get laid; so to speak. I would hope not anyway.

[PiroMunkie]

[size=1]Firstly, I just thought I would point out that chauvinism is not neccessarily a man thinking that men are all great and women should be subservient. Chauvinism is simply anyone thinking that anything in particular is better than something else. From Dictionary.com:

[b]1.[/b] Militant devotion to and glorification of one's country; fanatical patriotism.
[b]2.[/b] Prejudiced belief in the superiority of one's own gender, group, or kind.

So while according to the second definition what you speak of [i]does[/i] fit, I am just pointing out that it is not exclusive to men thinking they are superior. It goes the same for women.

Also, feminism is not the common misconception that women are better than men, but rather the idea that both genders are equal to each other.


At any given time, I would never consider myself much of a player. I know this might sound like denial after what Transtic said, but that is your own choice to see it that way. People have sometimes accused me of it, but never have I intentionally flirted or took some other action with a girl with purpose of just using her in the end. From there perspective, I could see how they may perceive what I do as "playing", but it is never my intent. I am just very much a "ladies man"; I get along with girl a lot more easily than I get along with guys. I openly hug them and whatnot (especially if I have not seen them in a while), I talk to them about anything and everything, but I treat none of them differently than the next unless I actually have significant interest in one.

In talking with one of my friends about how some people think I am just a "player" she told me, in defense of my case, that "most girls think if a guy so much as talks to her, he is flirting with her." While that might not apply with all girls, my friends was actually referring to the main group of girls I interact with who all go to the same school as my friend.

So it is not always a matter of a guy just wanting to have sex with a girl or whatever, but there is also the assumptions of the girl towards the guy.

I have also known stories of girls who are just as promiscuous as the guy they are dating or "romantically interested in", but as soon as they guy breaks up with her she claims to be the victim when she is really no better.


These are all just social problems, and I usually try to avoid them as much as possible.[/size]

[Break]

[size=1][color=CC0000]Guys like that make all the guys look bad. *sighs* lol

I wouldn't for a second consider myself a "player" or a "ladies man", I mean.. I get along with most girls I know just fine, and I never, have never and will never treat a girl like some of the guys I know have. I do find it very very annoying that a lot of these "players" get a lot of attention from girls and have a lot of friends too. At least it seems that way.. *sighs again*[/size][/color]

[Pagan]

I'm sorry for being a jerk Artemis. Though I don't really think that I'm Evan, I can see alot of his features in me. I enjoy my life as a player and wouldn't trade it in for anything. I love women so much that I just can't seem to have enough of them. I like so many different personalities and things about different ones that I just have to have them all. One day I'm gonna meet that perfect girl who has all of those features wrapped up in a pretty nice package and then I'll lose the rest but until then I'm gonna have add up different personalities until I make her.

I remember back when I was younger, I was kinda chubby. So it was hard for me to find a girlfriend. One day this new girl came and I made my move on her. We became friends and then a couple. I loved her and I thought that she loved me in return but I was gravely mistaken. She didn't love me at all and was only using me for my money and popularity around school. After she made a name for herself, she dumped me and had a new wardrobe to boot while leaving me there with nothing. Even worse she told me that she had just used me and bragged to her friends. This was back at my old middle school. I moved to Atlanta and started my 7th grade year. In 7th grade I turned that fat into muscle and started developing into a man. By 8th grade I was hot stuff and had it all: money, popularity, great body, everything that I guy could possible want, but that girl still plagued my thoughts. The way she used me still hurt so I dated a girl just like her in every way and used her the same way my first girlfriend used me. Then another and another until I just lost control and was breaking hearts here and there. I did meet some girls who I loved and they loved me and they were spaired from my wrath, but the others were fair game. I'm currently recovering from one of my trips of vengance were I hurt someone who I didn't want to.

[Heaven's Cloud]

[color=indigo]I guess that I have always thought of male chauvinists as men that feel that a woman?s role in life should be to cater to her man. I guess that it could be classified in different ways in today?s world, especially since a person can demean another in so many various manners. Although I am quick to make the ?woman, go make me a samwich!? joke in a humorous manner, I think I fall very short of being a male chauvinist. I guess that since I expect a woman that I am with to be a freethinking individual that has their own ambitions and aspirations out side of me.

As far as the term ?player? (or ?playa? as we call it in the hood?what hood that is I have no idea), I have been dubbed that on more than one occasion. I guess it has to do with the fact that I date a lot, and (apparently) I am a horrible flirt. I guess I do date quite a bit, but I really don?t consider myself to be a flirt, mainly because I tend to ask normal questions like ?hello, how are you? and ?how do you know such and such a person? and don?t spew lines like ?oh baby, you look good in that skirt?. I just enjoy conversation I guess. I do date quite a bit so I really have no defense in that category, although I don?t use women, I am just trying to find the right one.

It seems as though the original post had more to do with arrogance than anything else. I think a lot of guys tend to confuse arrogance and confidence, there is a line between the two and unfortunately it is crossed to often.
[/color]

[Artemis]

LOL :laugh: Thanks for apologizing, HellsFire, but you're right, Evan isn't you. lol He's a guy I go to school with. (And he's not the ex I told you about.)
I'm really happy that I haven't gotten a whole bunch of guys in here complaining the girls are so much worse. I would like to point out that girls can be shallow and arrogant as well. (and [i]all[/i] shallow, arrogant annoy me...not just the guys.)
Believe me, I'm not worried that I'll end up drawn in by Evan. I'm actually worried about some of my friends who are getting drawn in by him, too. One of them suffered a pretty embarrassing three week relationship that ended w/ the guy getting back together with his ex and leaving her high and dry. *shakes head* poor kid.
But my main reason for posting this thread was to complain about shallow, disrespectful people. :flaming: I guess I've done that, huh? :D
BTW, HellsFire, I'm really sorry that girl broke your heart :( , but don't take it out on the rest of us!! lol I'll keep praying for you...
~art~
Oh yeah, I'm from the U.S. There are a lot of great guys here, and I'm not limiting myself to the jerks I go to school with, so don't worry. :D

[immortALdeath]

I can relate to Evan, not in the scoring part, but in the having heaps of women after him and charisma. I'm not dating though, if alot of the things he says are bitter, then he's been stung before and it's hurt him. It's not a fun experience and it can leave scars on a person. All feminists should go to this [url]http://maddox.xmission.com/feminazi.html[/url] page, don't yell at me about it later though, I didn't write it.

[Artemis]

*laughs at immortAldeath's page*
That was great! :laugh: I'm definitely not a feminist like the ones mentioned in their. For one, I'm very staunchly pro-life. I think the feminist movement has gone too far, at least here in the U.S. I feel bad for guys getting crap all the time so that women can placed "evenly" with them. I'm rather conservative and traditional. I think that most women make better stay-at-home moms than men make stay-at-home dads. There is a definite difference in how men and women operate, not only physically, but emotionally and psychologically, too. I don't think it's right for girls to mooch off of guys, but I also think that the man should be the primary provider in most cases. I believe men and women are in equal in diginty, but the roles we carry out are different.
As earlier stated, my complaint is with people being shallow and disrespectful. "Evan" had been making a lot of comments about girls' bust sizes and other physical features in a rather demeaning way. I thought it showed very little class on his part, especially since most of his friends are girls and he was around quite a few when he was saying it. I think all of us were rather insulted.
~art~

[Justin]

The next girl I'm with in any serious way will be my wife.

As far as flirtation goes...I've always been flirty. Both the flirter and flirtee. So long as it never leaves the small-time, I see no problem with it.

-Justin

[ZytaZiouZ]

As a guy, I hate guys and girls who act this way. I hear guys talking about girls as something less than human, and I want to smack them. When I see a girl act like she is better than a guy, I want to walk up to her, start laughing, say "You are so stupid," and walk off in my usual nonchalant way.

[Charlie Levoy]

Now that is something that me and you both have in common ZytaZiouZ.

As I've said I've seen both men and women act "Ladies Man" or I guess you would say "Gentlmens Woman" for the female types.

It's quite annoying to see people like that go around acting like that. It's even more annoying when they go up to you and do it. Every single time I meet someone like that I always feel as if they were saying " You look like a dumb person. So I'm going to put my moves on you and try to get what I want."

Then I get angry and sometimes I even smack the person for there ignorance. Of coarse I'm not sure if ignorance is the right word to be using. Oh well.

Ciao,

~Charlie Levoy~ :cool:

[KarmaOfChaos]

[color=deeppink]
Ah yes. The age-old epic battle between the male and female psyche, as Mars and Venus constantly quarrely in their circl'd orbs.

Lol, just kidding.

I know exactly the type of guy you're talking about Artemis. Unfortunatly, they're quite common in the world, especially in the teenage one, as the harmones start raging. But why bother even worrying about them? They're not getting my attention, nor my body. They make fools only of themselves, showing how very sad they are when they talk like that. Advise your friends to stay away from them, at least romantically, until they grow up.

Don't waste your time insulting them, or giving them any attention. It only adds to their ego. Soon enough they'll see that being an arrogant bastard isn't going to cut it. Some girls may give them attention, they may indeed get laid, but in the end, how much is that really worth? They're not looking for love, merely sexual gratification. Living life like that will only leave you empty and wanting more.

Like HC said, many guys get confidence and arrogance confused. It's their fault if they cross that line. They'll learn.

Basically, I agree with James. Devote yourself to one person. Love them with all your heart, and make sure that person adores you in the same way. The only way a relationship will truly work, and both people will be happy, is if there is equality and love. Sex is just icing on the cake. Don't bother with guys that just want to lick the icing off and leave. ;)

-Karma
[/color]

[wiccansamurai]

A lot of you people make so much sense. Guys can be such idiots, but not all of them are like that. *starts rambling off about creepy band guy, then gets back on subject* Anyway, it's all these stupid hormones that sometimes cause the weaker part of the male species' brains to move south. I just think guys like this need to wake up and smell the coffee... or the cake. Whatever.

[Artemis]

I started thinking about the last several times complete strangers hit on me. I can think of two distinct occasions where I flipped off idiot guys for honking or whistling at my friends and me. I used to think I'd take that kind of flirting as a compliment, but once I'm actually in the situation, I find it really insulting for some reason. I'd prefer to get to know a guy as friends before moving on to anything else. A relationship that starts out w/ immediate flirting, as far as I've seen, will only turn into a physical relationship unless good communication is established, and that means really being friends with the other person.
ZytaZiouZ, that's funny. I could tell it was you before I even looked at your name. That sounds exactly like what I'd expect from you. You're right. There are too many people like the ones we've been describing at our own school. *shakes head* Pity, huh?
~art~

[Boba Fett]

[COLOR=green]There will always be rude, disrespectful and arrogant people out there. They take up valuable space, and oxygen; but there's really nothing you can do but avoid them.

Chauvinism is just another way that some of these people express their rotten personalities; just like the radical Feminists...[/COLOR]

[ZytaZiouZ]

Wow, I am always very quiet and say next to nothing at school, and yet people still figure me out.

Anyways, people who do that are annoying, but if it is who I think it is, I must never see him when he acts that way. Then again I only see him around his girlfriend, and then there they are next to eachother usually listening to any others who are there talking.

Oh well, not really important who you are talking about.

[Artemis]

The guy I was talking about is single. If you were thinking of my oh-so-gracious-exboyfriend, then I can tell you right now that he's a big baby afraid to even talk to me... :laugh: If it wasn't him, who were you thinking of?
Anyway, I should probably say something vaguely on topic. :laugh: You're right, Boba Fett, we can't get rid of the creeps, unfortunately. The best we can do is try to put up w/ them.
~art~