Writing Zharim's Poetry [PG]

[Guest Zharim]

Well thought id Show off my little Poetry...
They all have a hidden reason... They can be rather Difficult to understand.... I am not used to this... Writing...


[B]Angel of Love[/B]
[i]
I loved with my Heart, Hate I got Back
Darkness Broke through the Light of Love
The Shadows Came, broke the Wings of The Angel
Now Shadows Close upon the Stars so Bright
Desires Breaks Light of Love, Destiny is sad

Upon the Darkness I Walk, no Light to follow
Upon the paths so Dark, I walk and wonder
What fate can hide Beyond the Night
Angel of love Come to me, Free my Soul
I Pray in your name, Oh Holy Angel
Show me the Light of Love once more

Darkness flows like the sea, The light is too weak to break through
Angel of Love hear my prayers, Answer my Calls
Wash away the Darkness and Free my Soul
Night and Day together they were one
Now only Night Remains upon my Heart
Oh, Holy one, Free me from this Darkness
Oh, Angel of Love I beg of you, Free my Soul
Light the Fire upon The Sky so Dark
[/i]
[B]Beloved Treasure[/B]
[i]
Why must I feel hate? why cant I feel love?
Fate has never walked kindly upon my path.
Why must I have this eternal darkness?
Why must I suffer alone like this?
I fear that hatred has replaced love..
My Treasure, My beloved what have I done?
What have I done for you to hate me?
Oh Spirits of Time, why have you chosen me?
I wish to feel again, I want to Love again.
Oh my treasure, Why do you hate me so..
Winter has passed, Summer is brewing..
Yet the cold has not lifted from my heart..
I feel so alone and cold my treasure..
Cold is the day and Colder is the Night.
My Beloved why did you leave me? What did I do ?
I can only ask why, answer I will never get..
I long only for your smile again, only one more time.
Come back to me my Beloved, I feel so Cold..
[/i]
[b]Farewell my Love[/b]
[i]
Farewell my love, I can wait no more.
I have found my answers, I now know why.
Life Goes on, How I wish that my heart did too.

Time flows harsh, It show no Mercy.
The Stars shine so bright, Have I been blind?
The Night is not so dark, It is pretty nice.
Farewell my beloved, I shal miss you.

I bid you Farewell my love, I must go now.
The Stars are calling, They found someone.
The Wind is howling, It knows who needs me.
Farewell my Treasure, I must go on now.

Someone needs me, I must find out who it is.
Fate was cruel, Time has been hard.
Farewell my love, mayhap we meet again.

Light finaly shine upon my path so Dark.
The Circle of Stars has opended, I walk again.
My road has become lighter, the Sun is up.

No more Dark Clouds halt my path, I am Free.
Goodbye my love, I must leave you behind.
Farewell my Love, I must now seek my path.
[/i]
[b]Heart and Soul[/b]
[i]
What did I do to walk in Darkness?
Oh Dark One, Why did you choose me?
My life was once Warm, Now its cold as Ice.
Pain fills my soul, Sorrow fills my Heart.

Can you not see, that my Soul suffer?
Can you not see, that my Heart Bleed?
I chose to run, yet I can not hide.
Dark one, Free me from this Pain.

Once again, Love Walked my way.
Once again, the Light started to shine.
Then it was Destroyed by your Dark power.
Heart and Soul, thats what I wish to save..

You bring me naught but pain..
Come my Chosen, Come to me..
Free my Soul and Heal my Heart..

Fill the hole that hate has made.
Come my Chosen, Come to me..
Don't let me sit here alone, Come to me..
My heart and Soul begs of you, come to me..
[/i]
[b]Holy Guardian, Bringer of Pain[/b]
[i]
What have I done to deserve this fate?
I feel so weak, Hate has grown so Strong.
Each day I see Pain, My Wrath has grown strong.
The Nights grow so cold, I Miss your heat.

Tell me oh Guardian, Bringer of Pain..
What have I done to deserve such Sorrow?
Why must I feel so much pain ?
What Happend oh Guardian, to the Light ?

What Happend to the feeling of Love?
I walk upon roads of Darkness..
I feel so Weak, I have so much Pain..

Oh Guardian of Love, Answer me..
What did I do to Deserve this ?
Why did you leave me like this ?

Come to me oh Guardian, show me the Light.
I don't wish to hate, I want to feel lovc.
Show me oh Guardian, Show me your Light.

Holy Guardian, Bringer of Pain..
Release my Soul from it's Crypt so dark.
[/i]
[b]I Dream[/b]
[i]
I Dream of a Storm, a Horrible Storm.
In my Dream the Dark Clouds returns..
The Rose of Shadows is Blooming.
The Rose of Light is dying out..

In the Shadows I walk, I walk and think.
I think on the things that has been.
I think on the things that is yet to come.
The Sun burns over the Forest so Dark.
Fire Lights the Shadows so Deep.

The Dark Mist is Rising from the Grass..
The Dark Clouds block my path once again.
I watch their suffering, I feel their Pain.
I watch their Fear, I Feel their Hate..

The Shadows are growing and bringing Fear.
Where is the Light? Where is the Guardian?
Oh Guardian, Where are you? Show yourself..
I Dream.. a Dark and Horrible Dream...
[/i]
[b]My Friend[/b]
[i]
My friend why do you turn your back on me?
Why can't I see your face, Why do you hide?
Where are you my friend? Show yourself to me
Do not cry my friend, I am here now..

Why do you run from me my friend? Am I that bad?
My friend why do you fear me? I mean you no Harm.
My friend do you realy hate me that much?
Why do you hide from me? What have you done?

My friend do not fear me, I mean you no harm
Do not cry anymore my friend, I am at peace now..
Why dont you come with me my Friend? Do you fear me?
Do you hate me my friend? Why do you hide from me?

My Friend, All will be well now do not cry..
What happend to the old days my friend ?
We used to be so happy, just you and me..
Has those years realy changed me so much?

My Friend it's me, don't you recognize me?
Why do you cry? I am home now my Friend...
Hiding like that is not like you my Friend..
My friend please, let me see you smile again
[/i]
[b]My Love[/b]
[I]
Why do you hate me? My Love I miss you..
Why did you have to hurt me so? I feel so Empty..

I walk and wonder, The days slowly float away..
It hurts to think, yet I can't stop thinkin..
My thoughts are Simple, I think of you.

I ask so Simple, yet I see no Answer.
My Spirit is weak, alone I suffer.

Winter or Summer, same thing to me.
I am alone and I suffer, I long to see you.
Why did you leave me my Love ?
Why did you have to destroy my heart ?

I gave you everything I had, yet you hate me.
Oh what went so wrong my beloved? what did I do?
My Love, Why Must I suffer alone like this?

I walk again alone and think, why it happend.
Mayhap the Shadow will lift again sometime.

Untill that happens, I walk and Wonder..
I walk alone upon my paths so dark..
Come back to me my Love! I miss you so..
[/i]
[b]The Watcher[/b]
[i]
I watch this world, All I seek is some Love
Hate and Fear, This is what I find.
Time can be cruel, Fate can be Sad

Upon this world, I walk and think.
I wonder why love has been hidden..
Days come and Nights Pass, all withouth love.

Dreams Pass that has no Love, they make me sad
Dreams pass that has no Joy, they make me weak..
Years pass, yet I have not seen any Love.

How does one describe love? I do not know.
I Watch mankind bring pain and war.
I Watch Hate and Fear grow amongst man.

Why I watch I do not know.
I am merely the Watcher.
[/i]
[b]Sadness of Mankind[/b]
[i]
I look upon mankind and I see Chaos.
I see sadness and hatred, but no Love.
I look upon the Sadness of Mankind..

Why are they so sad ? why must they hate ?
They are all human, yet they hate their next.
I look upon the soul of mankind, I see hate
I look upon the Hate, It brings me sorrow

I bleed and I cry, yet I wish for light.
The Darkness of Mankind, I see only Sadness
The Soul of Mankind.. here I see only Pain

Darkness comes and stays in soul of mankind.
Why must they hate ? why must I feel THEIR pain ?
The Sadness of mankind brings only Pain..
[/i]
[b]My Treasure and Sunshine[/b]
[i]
My Treasure, My Beloved.
My Sunshine and my Heart.
Why did you leave? What did I do?
I miss you my Sunshine, I miss your smile.
Come and smile for me again, my Beloved.
My Heart and Soul, What become of them?
I feel sorrow, there is no Joy now.

I feel time flowing, I am loosing my grip.
When I feel the air, I think of you.
When I see the Sunlight, I dream of you.
Why my Love? Why must I miss you so?

I long for your smile, I dream of you.
Come back my Treasure, My Sunshine.
I do not wish to cry, make me smile again.
Come back my Treasure, I miss you so much.
My life has no meaning, nothing matters.

I have none whom care, I walk alone.
I miss your laughter, and your smile.
My Sunshine, come home to me again.
Light the Fire in my cold dark heart.
[/i]
[b]My Soulmate[/b]
[i]
You are the one I seek, the One I need.
My soul and heart I give to you, My Soulmate
Who are you? That I wish to know..
I seek you, I Feel you...

Why do you hide from me? Come to me...
My Soulmate, My Beloved..
Where are you? I need you...

My Heart and Soul, these are my gifts to you
Come to me... My Soul hunger for you..
You whom can fill the hole, end my hunger..

My Love, you shine like the brightest star..
I hunger for your presence, I seek your smile
My Soulmate and Treasure, Come to me...
The Shadows are falling, the Light has come..

Whom are you? You who brings the light...
I feel your mind, I feel your soul..
Why can I not see you? Why do you hide?
Show yourself... My soulmate come to me..
[/i]
[b]My Loved One[/b]
[i]
I Gave you everything I owned.
All I demanded in return was Love
You gave me Ice, You gave me Hate
Why did you Betray my Heart My Love?
Loved One, Come home!

I gave you my love, I got your hate!
I acted like a fool, I wished to make you Happy.
You are my Dream, My Life and my Future!
Come to me Love, let me hold you close.
I gave you my Heart.

You threw it away like an old glove.
You haunt me in my Dreams.
I love you so much it Hurts.
Come Home my Loved one!

I stand here and wait on you, yet you walk away.
I was young and Foolish, I loved you so bad.
Time has been Cruel, Fate has been Harsh..
My Loved one, Come to me!
I love you still, alas I know I can not have you.
My Loved One, Come back to me!
[/i]
[b]Shadow Walker[/b]
[i]
Thou who walk in my shadow, whom art thou?
I am a seeker... a Watcher of Souls..
Thy mist draws near... I can feel it..

Thou who tread in my dreams, talk to me more..
Thy mist be thick, I can feel thy sorrow..
Our goals are the same, we are a perfect match..

Who art thou, My Dreamwalker?
Come to me, You will be my Sacred Treasure
Why doth thou hide from me? I can feel thine presence

I pledge my spirit to thee, My Dreamwalker..
Thou who tread in my shadow, we art destined to be together..
Once as well as Forever, Destiny shall stand strong.
[/i]
[b]Return of the Dream[/b]
[i]
I Dream Again, The Storm is Comming..
The Darkness of the Storm is Horrible..
I Dream Again, The Shadows are Closing..

I Want to Scream, Yet there is no Sound..
I to Cry, Yet I can shed no tears..
The Storm is Comming, Why must it Happen?

Oh Guardian of the Mist, Teach me...
Guide me, for I am thy Servant..
We shall stand as one, When the Storm Strike..

The Darkness is Comming, Thus I have seen...
I Dream Again... That Dark and Horrible Dream...
[/i]
[b]The Darkness consumes all[/b]
[i]
That Shrill Howl, That Horrifying Sight..
What is that? Why is it chasing me?
My mind goes wild, the beast is comming..

I know I must run, but I can not escape it..
It is comming, I can heart is Horryfing howls..
The Shadow... I can feel it...

He is here, I can feel him...
I can not run... from my Shadow..
He is my Shadow, I am him
We are one...We are whole again[/i]

[de1ayna]

In the first poem "Angel of love", I am not quite sure what the meaning of it is (probably because I am a complete idiot and i am way too young to know what "Love "is."
But I think your poem means...that you loved someone but they did not love you ...and you bassiacaly turned your back on love all together (love probably =lite)and you walked into the darkness(darkness probably=hate) and the Holy angel is probably the object of you love...(I just confused mt self LOL) and that "angel of love hear my prayers,answer my calls" means you want light or love back...XD



In "beloved treasure " Ithink you mean you want to love, that fate is cruell and that you ran away from the "darkness"and your thoughts began to clear and so you began to see the "light".But then the "darkness"came back again and that you still want the "light to "feel the hole that hate made."



In "Holy Gaurdian...umm it was so beautiful that I wont allow myself to put it in my confining words XD(compliment)



In "Dream" I think that you are trying to say (type)that the light is fading and that the darkness is becoming overwhelmingly powerfull. And that you think that the "their" you are talking about are people who feel the same way you do.And by saying "where is the gaurdian" I think you are either talking about God or the light abandoning you.



In "My friend" I senced a ton of emotions like :safety, protection ,fear,wonder,concern and the infamouse "love"...but i laque the expirience of putting all of those feelings together in one paragraph...


The rest of them are all beautifull ...but I am getting sleepy so...I will stop here ..You are a fantastic writer and i will look forward to reading more of you art.


(by the way you probably shouldn't take anything that I said (typed) to heart because I am only 12 years old and I dont know anything ..the poems that I have written could not even compare to yours XD

[Patronus]

[QUOTE]
Well thought id Show off my little Poetry...
They all have a hidden reason... They can be rather Difficult to understand.... I am not used to this... Writing...


[b]Angel of Love[/b]

[i]I loved with my Heart, Hate I got Back [/i]
[i]Darkness Broke through the Light of Love [/i]
[i]The Shadows Came, broke the Wings of The Angel [/i]
[i]Now Shadows Close upon the Stars so Bright [/i]
[i]Desires Breaks Light of Love, Destiny is sad [/i]

[i]Upon the Darkness I Walk, no Light to follow [/i]
[i]Upon the paths so Dark, I walk and wonder [/i]
[i]What fate can hide Beyond the Night [/i]
[i]Angel of love Come to me, Free my Soul [/i]
[i]I Pray in your name, Oh Holy Angel [/i]
[i]Show me the Light of Love once more [/i]

[i]Darkness flows like the sea, The light is too weak to break through [/i]
[i]Angel of Love hear my prayers, Answer my Calls [/i]
[i]Wash away the Darkness and Free my Soul [/i]
[i]Night and Day together they were one [/i]
[i]Now only Night Remains upon my Heart [/i]
[i]Oh, Holy one, Free me from this Darkness [/i]
[i]Oh, Angel of Love I beg of you, Free my Soul [/i]
[i]Light the Fire upon The Sky so Dark[/i]
[/QUOTE][b]Number one thing is that you need to work on punctualization. You have a lot of capitalized words that shouldn't be. This poem has a good theme, but you get repetitive in some places.[/b]


[b][QUOTE] [b]Beloved Treasure[/b]

[i]Why must I feel hate? why cant I feel love?[/i]
[i]Fate has never walked kindly upon my path.[/i]
[i]Why must I have this eternal darkness?[/i]
[i]Why must I suffer alone like this?[/i]
[i]I fear that hatred has replaced love..[/i]
[i]My Treasure, My beloved what have I done?[/i]
[i]What have I done for you to hate me?[/i]
[i]Oh Spirits of Time, why have you chosen me?[/i]
[i]I wish to feel again, I want to Love again.[/i]
[i]Oh my treasure, Why do you hate me so..[/i]
[i]Winter has passed, Summer is brewing..[/i]
[i]Yet the cold has not lifted from my heart..[/i]
[i]I feel so alone and cold my treasure..[/i]
[i]Cold is the day and Colder is the Night.[/i]
[i]My Beloved why did you leave me? What did I do ?[/i]
[i]I can only ask why, answer I will never get..[/i]
[i]I long only for your smile again, only one more time.[/i]
[i]Come back to me my Beloved, I feel so Cold..[/i]
[/QUOTE]At the beginning of this poem, you say that you yourself are filled with hate, but at the end, you're asking why the person left you. So, logically, or in my thining, [i]you[/i] wouldn't be filled with hate.[/b]


[b][QUOTE] [b]Farewell my Love[/b]

[i]Farewell my love, I can wait no more.[/i]
[i]I have found my answers, I now know why.[/i]
[i]Life Goes on, How I wish that my heart did too.[/i]

[i]Time flows harsh, It show no Mercy.[/i]
[i]The Stars shine so bright, Have I been blind?[/i]
[i]The Night is not so dark, It is pretty nice.[/i]
[i]Farewell my beloved, I shal miss you.[/i]

[i]I bid you Farewell my love, I must go now.[/i]
[i]The Stars are calling, They found someone.[/i]
[i]The Wind is howling, It knows who needs me.[/i]
[i]Farewell my Treasure, I must go on now.[/i]

[i]Someone needs me, I must find out who it is.[/i]
[i]Fate was cruel, Time has been hard.[/i]
[i]Farewell my love, mayhap we meet again.[/i]

[i]Light finaly shine upon my path so Dark.[/i]
[i]The Circle of Stars has opended, I walk again.[/i]
[i]My road has become lighter, the Sun is up.[/i]

[i]No more Dark Clouds halt my path, I am Free.[/i]
[i]Goodbye my love, I must leave you behind.[/i]
[i]Farewell my Love, I must now seek my path.[/i]
[/QUOTE][i]Farewell my love, I can wait no more.[/i]
Anymore, not "no more."

[i]The Night is not so dark, It is pretty nice.[/i]
"It is pretty nice" doesn't really go well.

Again, you are repetitive. You say that someone needs you more times than is needed, and you say goodbye and farewell too many times.

I didn't read the rest of the poems.[/b]

[de1ayna]

Actually,Patronus I think it is no more ...hmm you would be correct if she put "I cant wait no more"

Then the correct way would be "I cant wait any more "
But Zharim didnt Zharim put "I can wait for you no more." Wich is the correct way to put that sentance XD You see if Zharim put "any more" in the place of "no more" it would be ..."I can wait for you any more." Wich really does not make sense...
Any way I really can not argue with anything else you have said (typed ) because those are your opinions...( I only corrected you onn this because you stated it as a fact wich I am sure was on accident)
No hard feelingsXD :love: ;)