Mimmsicle Posted December 29, 2003 Share Posted December 29, 2003 [center][color=firebrick][i]04.00 a.m. 4th July 2001. Doesn't sound like much, now does it? It [I]was[/I] pretty quiet that morning though, come to think of it?[/center][/i][/color] [color=indigo] I woke up at 3 a.m, by the disturbing sound of my alarm clock. I headed downtown on my bike, to pick up my papers that awaited delivery. The town lay still and quiet, as it always did in the summer. I started my daily route, not really thinking about anything. Simply taking in the morning air, enjoying the stillness of the early hours. Upon approaching the Care Centre, I observed a black figure standing behind the glazed entry. Like everything else that morning, I didn't give it too much thought. As I stopped at the mailbox in front of the entry, the black figure paced up to me and grabbed my left arm. I looked up and saw a man, wearing a "Friday the 13th"-mask and a knife in his right hand. The steely object was gleaming in the early morning rays. [/color] [center] [I][color=firebrick](This has got to be a joke...)[/I] [/color] - [b]"Get off the bike"[/b][/center] [color=indigo] It was a joke [b]and[/b] he wanted my bike. What more could there be to it ? Somewhere in the back of my mind, I could hear voices whispering. A feeling of tension slowly krept over my body. Slowly I awoke from my slumber.[/color] [center][color=firebrick] - [i]"I don't have anything valuable? or a cell phone"[/i][/color] - [b]"I know."[/b] [/center] [color=indigo]The quiet voices began screaming and shouting at me. Yet I was barely able to speak.[/color][center][color=firebrick] - [i]"What is it you want ?"[/i]. [/color] - [b]"I think you know what I want..."[/b] [/center] [color=indigo]Of course ? I know all to well. I desperately needed to stall time. Clear the head and keep that focus. No time to panic. Locking eyes with him I repeated myself over and over. All he gave me was [color=black]"you'll see"[/color] and the occasional [color=black]"you know what I want"[/color]. The standstill was going nowhere. So I asked him, one final time:[/color][center][color=firebrick] - [i]"What is it you want ?"[/i] [/center][color=indigo] Suddenly the knife was pushed to my throat. He spoke with a voice as clear as ice.[/color][center][/color] - [b]"Do you want me to cut you, or what? "[/b] [/center] [color=indigo][i]Something snapped inside of me?[/i] I quickly grabbed the hand in which he held the knife. Composed myself the best I could. Staring straight into his cold and somehow distant eyes, I made my final plea:[/color] [center][color=firebrick] - [i]"You might as well give up and walk away right now, because I'm not going to let you do anything to me. So ? just ? [size=3]leave ![/size]"[/i] [/color] - [b]"??"[/b] [/center] [color=indigo]No answer? not a hint of reaction. Just that sickening stare from behind the mask. [i]He wouldn't let me go? it was time to leave?[/i] [center] ***** [I]My knee in his groin. His hands loosening their grip. My feet flying over the concrete, running away as fast as my legs would take me. A quick glance over my shoulder. The town ever so quiet. Time standing still? My hand reaching for the telephone. Dialling the number with trembling hands. Tears streaming down my face and my life crumbling inside me. My own voice ringing in my ears?[/I] [/color] [font=century][color=firebrick] - "I've been attacked. He held a knife at my throat??" [/center][/font][/color] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wiccansamurai Posted December 29, 2003 Share Posted December 29, 2003 I like that. Is there more? It didn't seem to really end, you know? But that was pretty good. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest sixthcrusifix Posted December 29, 2003 Share Posted December 29, 2003 Damn, I cant think of anything to say, Im such a bad speller you wouldn't understand it any way. It was pretty good. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mimmsicle Posted December 31, 2003 Author Share Posted December 31, 2003 [QUOTE][i]Originally posted by wiccansamurai [/i] [B]I like that. Is there more? It didn't seem to really end, you know? But that was pretty good. [/B][/QUOTE] [color=firebrick] Yeah, that's the end... [size=1]at least to the written story... [/size] It's supposed to resemble a picture, only showing a moment in time. Leaving the people looking at it, guessing. But who knows, maybe I'll magnify the picture one day and make it move ;p Thanks for commenting, it's good to hear it wasn't as bad as I didn't think it was >__> - Mimmi[/color] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lady Asphyxia Posted January 4, 2004 Share Posted January 4, 2004 [size=1]I thought it was great, Mimmi. I particularly liked the use of fonts and colours to emphasise the point. I thought it was like a short scrap of a story. An extract, if you like. A teaser. Something to whet our appetite and then leave us waiting. And it worked well. It was very effective. I think the best part of the story is the calm quality. There's nothing really in-your-face excitement, and I like that; it adds to the illusion of the early morning summer day. *nods* Good job, Mimmi.[/size] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mimmsicle Posted January 4, 2004 Author Share Posted January 4, 2004 [color=firebrick]Well, Lady Asphyxia hit the nail right on the head [i]*bows*[/i] The story was indeed an extract, the very essence of a short story I wrote. As I was editing it I felt that it got too.... comical, with it's detailed reactions and whatnot. So I stripped it down and ended up with something more... honest. And much calmer, as you pointed out. I actually worked harder on the font and color, than I did on the story itself >___> So it pleases me that you took notice of that [i]*smiles*[/i] Thankyou ! - Mimmi[/color] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lea Posted March 12, 2004 Share Posted March 12, 2004 Dearest Mia Mia, the story telling was very good, but the story itself is scary o.o I could feel the fear, the uncertainty.... *wipes tears* You are a wonderful story-teller ^_^ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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