Art 6 Page Action Squence (Manga-Drama)

[Snoozer]

Here's our latest action scene. We messed around a bit with tracers and a few different types of sound effects. A lot of time way spent trying to create interesting angles and effects to try to bring the action to life.

C&C is welcome.

CB

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[haruno_sakura]

The artwork is gorgeous, and there's not much improvement that I can suggest on it. However, because manga is a lot like storyboards we use in filmmaking, I can give some suggestions about angles.

I somehow lose a sense of continuity as I have no clear direction of which way the characters are moving. The two characters and Sky first seem to move towards the right on the 1st page. In the 2nd page, the enemies are aiming towards the left, so it looks as if Sky and Co. are running right towards enemy lines, which doesn't make sense.

In the 3rd page, we see that Sky and Co. are actually going left, but the images in the middle and the bottom then look as if they're going toward the right again.

In filmmaking, this is called breaking the 180 degree rule, which can be disorienting for the audience, and in this case, for your readers. Then again, some filmmakers chose to purposefully break this rule for that very effect, and you can decide that this best fits the description of what war is like: a disorientating experience. IMHO, if the Sky and her two friends are running towards the left, they should face towards the left throughout just for continuity's sake.

I don't know if that made any sense at all, but if I can find any diagrams of what I'm trying to explain, then I'll edit this post!

~haruno_sakura

[Snoozer]

The characters were moving straight into the enemy lines. The squad was trying to flank the snipers, but didn't really have a good idea where they were. Their job was to surpress the enemy until help could arrive. Once the MG started shooting at them, the 3 tried to move forward towards cover.

[quote] In the 2nd page, the enemies are aiming towards the left, so it looks as if Sky and Co. are running right towards enemy lines, which doesn't make sense.[/quote]

They expected to only come up against snipers, the bunker was hidden. When the snipers fired on the command post the squads MG started firing towards the hills side to surpress them. When the camo curtain was opened the gun was pointing left of the squad. The loader's hand is pointing towards the approaching squad. In the center frame on the third page, the Gun in the bunker is sweeping from it's left to right.

There is one error in the tracer fire on in the first frame of the 3rd page. the fire should be coming at them from the direction the blonde guy is facing not across the page. There are 2 of us working on this and that was a communication error :( .

One of things i try to focus on in the comic is to use different camera angles. There are very few we use more than once.

CB

[haruno_sakura]

[QUOTE][i]Originally posted by Snoozer [/i]
[B]There is one error in the tracer fire on in the first frame of the 3rd page. the fire should be coming at them from the direction the blonde guy is facing not across the page. There are 2 of us working on this and that was a communication error :( .

One of things i try to focus on in the comic is to use different camera angles. There are very few we use more than once.

CB [/B][/QUOTE]

I understand that you may want to use different angles, but my point is that it's definitely alright to keep some of the same angles in a few of the frames in order to keep the continuity of movement more clear. Too many different angles can cause confusion for a viewer or a reader if he or she cannot distinguish a character's location. Using the same angles more than once is definitely not a bad thing in this respect.

In the first page, at the first bottom frame, we see Sky facing toward the right, and in the next frame over, she is facing left, leaving me unsure of where exactly she is going to run. And that confusion stays with me until the 3rd page, where it's made a little bit more clearly, but not by much. In the 3rd page, the first two frames show them running toward the left, but then the middle frame makes it look as though they're running to the right, and they stay running toward the right until the end of the page. The fouth page + fifth page are just fine as it keeps in continuity with last few frames of the 3rd page, but the last frame of the 6th page is a little disorienting, as the cat jumps on Sky from the right side in the last frame of the 5th page and in the last frame of the 6th page, the cat is suddenly on the left side.

I'm trying to read your description and look at the images, but I still find myself wondering what's moving where that I tried reading it both ways, from left to right as is the standard in America, and then right to left as manga are usually created. I still found myself with no sense of direction, and it's mostly because the 180 degree rule is being broken a few times that I feel disoriented. I'm getting a shot of the left side of Sky's face, and then I suddenly see the right side of her face in the next frame(as is such in the 6th page), and if one were to do that in film, it would look as if she is staring at herself. Does that make any type of sense? Just having a character face a certain way in a frame is essential in keeping continuity and keeping things less confusing.

This is excellent work, and I applaud your artistic endeavors as the drawings are simply amazing, but continuity of movement is an incredibly important part of a story's structure, and if that isn't precisely clear, it could lessen its potential. I don't know if I'm making sense, or if I'm just merely succeeding in confusing you in my explanations of what I experience when looking at this, but if you need any clarifications of what I mean, please feel free to PM me. I hope I helped a little, if at all, by describing my confusion >.<

~haruno_sakura

[Megumi]

The coloring.... it's so pretty.... o.o

I love the coloring style, how it has a watercolor-y look. And all the font styles you used.... it's really beautiful.

[eleanor]

[size=1] I can make out the direction of the main characters' armies, but at one point I couldn't tell whether which people were the attackers or the attack...-ies. Is that a word?

Anyways, the art is very beautiful, and the only problem I had with it was that the heads looked too big at times. No biggie, though. The coloring and font definately have flair, so I commend you on that. Hope to see more![/size]

[Oukan05]

I love it. The artwork is fantastic, the characters are cool, and the plot is dramatic. That's the coolest manga I've ever seen. It's like reading a manga war version of "Saving Private Ryan or Thin Red Line" in anime style. Only this time, there are girls fighting.

I love it. Great job.:)