Guest TheFameof_Dying Posted January 5, 2004 Share Posted January 5, 2004 Take it like you should Take the bad with the good, I won't change it but I wouldn't leave it if I could. The bad, It doesn't seem to get any better The good, All wet is just gonna get wetter We can't help the un wanted We can't want the un tainted Just too bad, the worlds gonna end We wont get to play pretend And if we all get together Won't make it any better You don't need it if you don't flaunt it It's pushing drugies up to sainthood Just because you say you love me Doesn't mean that you can really see All my talent waisted on you Then you treat me like i don't know what to do Well i cant help the weaker hearts I can't fix the world's problems Hobo's in the street cryin for cash Like a sick scyth, we give'm a good bash Faggots frolic like butterfies We pluck there wings, they chastise They don't really know where the problem starts, We just want to sing hymns. Churches burn like fire flys We watch it goe with gleaming eyes Like we care, not my religeon Follow like a stupid pidgeon Cuz that's all we are... Cattle to the slaughter But no one's eating us We're just throne away.. We deserve it, Take it like you should, you sick animal. -----------Fame Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wiccansamurai Posted January 5, 2004 Share Posted January 5, 2004 I really dislike AABB ryhming... That and some of the ryhmes were a bit predictable. I think it was about religon, but it didn't really end, so I'm not sure. This line.... >>>>It's pushing drugies up to saint hood<<<<< Would have been more understandable reading it the first time through if it was sainthood. I would say more, but I have to go. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest TheFameof_Dying Posted January 6, 2004 Share Posted January 6, 2004 Actually.. Your wrong. That was far from aabb honey, Every 5th line rhyms with the line 6" lines" ahead, as does every sixth line. Which is more like aabbcdaabbcd, Just for your information.;) And just because you can predict something does not make it bad, I am not writing poetry to shock or suprise people, just make them think. But the schematics of the poem are not important, If we see a movie where the camras are wobly and the sound is like, 8 track, But the movie makes us cry, Do we care? No, The most important thing, is what did the poem say to you, Look past how it flows, Tell me what the poem was trying to say, I've noticed you have a problem with this, Looking at your poem, "The Neighborhood" Flowing as it was, It had no real meaning, Thought you were a romoantic, Then tell me, What were youy feeling when you wrote that poem? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Charles Posted January 6, 2004 Share Posted January 6, 2004 Interesting poem, TheFameof_Dying. But, I'm afraid you should have placed a warning label on it. Your lyrics and the image you included with your post aren't appropriate for all members. I'll edit this thread to provide it now. By the way, was your poetry told through the voice of hatred? Or is that your own voice? I also find it interesting that you're sixthcrusifix. You can't deny it either because I know! lol Edit: You know, I think this will become a problem down the road. If you're not him, (which I heavily doubt considering you have the same AOL screen name) you're posting for him. I think I'll just end it now. And for the record, sixthcrusifix was banned because of his atrocious post quality. His terrible attitude was only the icing on the cake. It was nothing personal. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wiccansamurai Posted January 6, 2004 Share Posted January 6, 2004 [QUOTE]I also find it interesting that you're sixthcrusifix. You can't deny it either because I know! lol[/QUOTE] I knew they sounded a lot alike! And the fact TheFameof_Dying got pissed when I said anything bad about sixxy... :whoops: [QUOTE]Actually.. Your wrong. That was far from aabb honey, Every 5th line rhyms with the line 6" lines" ahead, as does every sixth line. Which is more like aabbcdaabbcd, Just for your information.[/QUOTE] Any AABB annoys me. It makes it sound static and quite boring. But that's just my opinion. Oh, and it tipped me off that you seemed more and more like sixxy when you called me "honey". Honey! [QUOTE]Look past how it flows, [/QUOTE] What you want to write is called prose, then. [QUOTE]It had no real meaning[/QUOTE] I have this feeling that no one actually knew what that poem was about. :therock: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mitch Posted January 6, 2004 Share Posted January 6, 2004 [size=1] I just [i]knew[/i] it was sixthcrusifix. I told Alex this, I told myself this, yeah lol. Sorry I couldn't step into this thread myself last night when Alex told me about it. My computer is afflicted with a virus or something...so thus, it's very unstable etc. Thanks Charles lol. I'll take the initative and just close this thread now...no reason to have it open. Who wants to have discussion with a banned member? I also got a PM from this person. I could tell it was sixy in some form from the quality of the PM, as well as other intuitional nudges.[/size] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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