Writing Otaku Love (story)

[Nate]

Tad sat down at the family computer and turned on AIM. He opened up Comcast at the same time, covering the AIM box. He never thought to check it because of the time, 8 o'clock. He had an hour to go until she signed on. A dinging noise of sort made him jump. Very few people sent him a instant mesage any more, except for two people. One was at summer camp, and the other one wouldn't be on for about an hour. He practically leaped out of the chair from excitement when he saw who it was. IT WAS SASHA! He read it quickly.
''Well Well,..look who finally showed up''. He blinked, thinking of what to say. Maybe he should say something romantic. She knew he liked her, even though 3 time zones seperated them. Maybe he should say something kinda funny, like '/0 1 /\/\45 /\/\41t1/\| 4 '/4 |-|0/\/\13' You know..something crazy. About 4 other thougths came to him mind, and he settled with this.
"I was on Anime boards looking at your beautiful picture, my love." Corny, he knew. But he said it anywy. His reply was merly a face: 0o. He chuckled to himself, and send her another reply saying he missed her. The continued chatting for a while, swapping plans on how they could bring her character back into an rpg he had made. After about a minute of no instand messages from her, he decided to open up a new subject: his banner.
"Well..did you go and check my banner i made for you?" He asked quickly.
"Yes, I did" She replyed quickly.
"Well....waht do you think?" He typed quickly, without noticing the error. He instant messaged her again saying "what^".
"..It's very good, concidering the program you are using." She said, with no comment of the mistake. Something odd, she usually said "Heh", or "HEHE", or something. He blinked at the computer screen. A little box said that she was typing something. He shot off typing, this time with no mistakes, this.
"Well..are you gonna use it? Don't tell me you...you.." He sent it like that, for a little cliff-hanger. He could tell she was deleting the message she was about to send. A few seconds latter, she send a reply.
"Don't tell you what?"
"Don't tell me...DON'T TELL ME YOU DON'T LOVE ME ANY MORE!!!!!" He said jokingly, though he didn't say so.
"You know that in able to love some one, you have to have known them CLOSELY for a while in able for that love to build, i find it kinda hard that that could happen over 3 time zones, eh?"
"Sasha, you take things to seriously. OF COURSE IT CAN. Duh, you said it yourself."
"Well....eh....."
"Yep..caught ya, like Judge Mathis"
"0o....ok....if you say so." They continued talking about various anime, video games, and rpgs, until Tad had to go. Unfortunately, Sasha had to go do something and had her away message on. He sent her an instant message anyway, saying bye and blowing her an internet kiss. He then signed off. He went to the living room, which was opposite of his bed room, to see if he could stay up later. The answer was a firm no. He walked to his bedroom, and both parents called out that they loved him. He said he loved them, too. As he walked past the computer room, he stoped, and put his hand on the door frame.
"I love you, Sasha." tad said this, knowing she couldn't hear him. Yet, strangly enough, as he was getting into bed, he heard a voice that didn't sound like his mom or dad, or nosy sister say something back to him: 'I love you, too.'


~`(_Nate_)`~

[Xra]

I sense a lot of heart went into this work.

This sample is pretty much solid. Everything is easy to understand, and its around our time. I say let things flow out slowly. to lenthen it a bit. It kinda gives it even more of a romantic feel. All in all its good.

9.5/10 Let it open up a bit slower and its perfect. Please show more.